Why does death in the family cause so much family divison amongst family members?

Answer 1

The major reason is everyone wants the same items from the deceased and someone is usually quicker or more greedy than the rest.

Here's a few horror stories:

Aunt Edna had a key to the great-aunt's house and helped herself when the great-aunt died even though she was a relative by marriage.

Bill was named beneficiary on an insurance policy meant to take care of his mother's final costs. HE decided that the money was his and tried to divide up his mother's final costs among his brothers and sisters.

Dean got his name on all the real estate owned by his mother and, instead of dividing it up with his two brothers, kept it. He did try to divide up those final medical bills, though. They laughed and handed them back.

Those are a few examples. Every family has some. Of course, there are ways to stop the greedy grabbing.

1. Have every family member list THREE things they'd like to have in order of preference while the parent is still living. Have the parent iron out the conflicts and specify in their will what each person gets. Ideally, everyone should get two things on their list.

2. Anything worth over five hundred dollars should be sold and the money divided equally among the heirs. Family members should be told exactly when the auction is so they have a chance to bid on the item themselves.

3. Family photos and important documents should be copied and copies given to everyone. The originals should go to the acknowledged family historian.

Answer 2

There are many factors. Grief, greed, facing one's own mortality, are a few. If it is the last surviving parent that dies, it seems from my experience, that at least one of the surviving children will believe that they should make all the decisions regarding both funeral arrangments and the estate. It's ironic that even at that late stage in life, old sibling rivalries still come to light. When the family members do not have a say in these matters and/or or not given an opportunity to participate in the decisions being made, the result can be hurt feelings, anger, and downright belligerance. Brings to mind "you're not the boss of me!" mentality kicks right in. Unfortunately, some families who wind up in this type of situation, do not have time to mend their fences before they too pass away. It is very sad.

Answer 3

Greed. It is the quickest way to divide people. Could also be fear. Everyone reacts differently to death. Lots of people fear death and would rather not think about it.

Answer 4

Most people are concerned someone will get more than the others, very selfish, My father died and we were devastated, He was poor and we didn't have anything to gain by his death. very sad