Who now broke up with me but all I can think of is them and I am in pain. I know the relationship was abusive...How do I get him out of my mind?
2007-04-03 05:16:12 · 7 answers · asked by hurtingbuthealing 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Realize that abusive relationships are often codependent and abusers in general seem to find people who have emotional issues which they can take advantage of. Realize that your feelings are not that uncommon. go out with some friends. meet someone else. pamper yourself. do something you really enjoy. Most important thing realize you deserve better than a narcissistic abuser.
realize that abusive people tend to have a way of playing on your weakness and
2007-04-03 05:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by slinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that everyone has given you good advice when they say to stay away from him. However, although you are no longer being abused, the memories of his abuse may hinder you from forming a healthy relationship in the future. I would suggest looking into some short term counseling or joining a support group for women who have been victims of domestic violence. One of the best things you can do is educate yourself and deal with your feelings. I work in a drug and alcohol treatment facility for women and hear stories all of the time about how they were in abusive relationships and the the hardships they have faced as a result.
2007-04-03 05:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by alilee81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to date someone like that and I was very attracted to the intensity and drama of the relationship. However, you can never build a long-lasting, secure and stable relationship with someone like that. You need to find someone who is caring, thoughtful and sensitive, then you'll forget all about your narcissist.
2007-04-03 05:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start one-on-one talk therapy with a licensed psychologist who specializes in dealing with addictive or abusive relationships.
I have been where you are now, and I spent a long time spinning my wheels, degrading myself by begging him to take me back (several times), and accepting his poor behavior and emotional/mental games....
YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN WHAT HE HAS TO OFFER YOU.
Counseling and working through the issues that allowed you to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't value your innate worth will help you see that.
Good Luck.
2007-04-03 05:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by sylvyahr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will do the healing, but meanwhile make a stern resolution not to contact him again, even if it takes you privately writing down what was wrong with the relationship and looking at your resolution when you feel yourself reminiscing. Meanwhile take your mind off your thoughts by getting busy with hobbies or volunteering so you have less time to reminisce.
2007-04-03 05:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will solve this problem for you. You also have to understand that this was NOT YOUR FAULT, no matter what he has said or no matter what you may think...NOT YOUR FAULT. Just do anything that makes you smile, get plenty of rest, eat right and pray however you pray. (I meditate)More people than you realize have been abused in some way, they've gotten through and so will you.
2007-04-03 05:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A similar thing happened to me once and the best way to handle it is to retreat into your own fantasy world of happiness and whatever you want.
This is what I did.
This method might make you form neurosis or psychosis so I'd give it some thought.
2007-04-03 05:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋