My ex-wife makes my life miserable, how can I stop her?

Question

My ex-wife makes my life so miserable. For example, the other day she left me a message "reminding" me that her support check is due on the 1st, and by the way, the 1st is on Sunday so I hope you're planning on dropping it off on Saturday. I've snapped back at ther in the past but she always gets "revenge" by pulling some BS stunt with my son, like scheduling soccer practice on my day to see him.

Answer 1

Tell her you KNOW when your son's support check is due and she will receive it AS ORDERED BY THE COURT, not as ORDERED BY HER.

Tell her you will not allow her to interfere with the COURT ORDERED VISITATION and that if your son has soccer on a day he's to be with you that YOU will take him to soccer.

Stick to the court's order and you can't go wrong. If she continues to interfere, take her back to court!

Just an aside, if the court ordered child support to be paid and the date for payment falls on a weekend, the payment is due the NEXT business day, not the day before.

Answer 2

Well, make every child support payment, on time. Then, she probably will quit worrying about it, or at least you needn't listen to her. Also, make your child support payments through Friend of the Court. It is silly to "drop it off", especially if you two don't get along well. As for her pulling silly stunts concerning visitation, you can report it to the court, even rant and rave, and let it bother you. But, she'll keep playing silly games, as long as you give her the positive result she's working toward; which is bothering you, and causing you unhappiness. Don't play her game. Eventually, your son will be old enough to realize which parent has been a good parent. Make sure that when he does have those thoughts, he decides that YOU were a good parent, by being a good Dad. Tough job? Of course it's tough. It sounds like you are dealing with a bitter ex. Never fun.

Answer 3

My heart goes out to you over this one, my now husband has been through this for the last 6 years and it is still ongoing.
The thing is she is doing things like that to get at you, the only way we have found to handle all this is to just not allow it to get to to us any more. She has always used my husbands girls as a weapon and at the end of the day it is them who end up getting a rough deal out of it.
She has pulled every stunt in the book and still continues to do so but after 6 years we just don't take her on anymore.
I think she enjoyed it when we rose to her and had a go back because she was getting a reaction.
Now we just ignore her, make sure the girls are happy and get on with things.
I hope this works for you and believe me in time you get to a stage where you stop caring about she says, does or thinks.

I hope things get better for you x

Answer 4

First I would review your divorce decree as most of them spell out that any extra-curricular activities of your child have to be agreed upon by both of you before they are even brought up to the child.

Second I would let her know that you are aware that the first of the month amazingly always falls on the first day of the month and no you will not plan on giving it to her a day early if that is not convenient for you. If it saves you time then perhaps but not if it is just because she wants it then.

Do you live in the same town??? Perhaps it is time to start proceedings to have your child 50% of the time. If you live close enough together there is not a reason for your son not to be with you and be with her.

It sounds to me like she enjoys creating conflict and I would keep track of the "revenge" type stunts so that later on you will have documented proof that she is "using" your child as a pawn in a sick and twisted game.

Answer 5

Ignore her except when you absolutely have to deal with her. Mark every day she keeps you from seeing your son on your day and tell her, calmly, in a "Oh, by the way" manner that for every five you're taking her to court, records in hand, and requesting that the child support be lowered to compensate (yes, the judge will do this in most cases). Make sure child support is there early every time so she doesn't have an avenue to get back at you.

DO NOT USE YOUR SON TO GET REVENGE ON HER.

That is wrong to the child, even though you might think it an easy in.

Answer 6

You have to stop LETTING her get to you. She clearly knows exactly what strings to pull to get you riled-up. I would simply erase and ignore any voice mail messages or e-mails she sends. You know precisely when the support check is due, and she is just going out of her way to be a *****. If she keeps jerking you around on your day's with your son, you need to contact your lawyer. She is disobeying a court order and can get in trouble for doing it. Good luck- crappy situation.

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear that. what you can do is go to court. Get the best lawyer in town and tell him everything your telling us. do everything by the book so you won't look bad. Have the support come out of your check through the courts this way she can't harrass you. bring up that she is harrassing you and make a set time with the judge so she can't take away your time. That is the only way is do it legally goodluck.

Answer 8

you should be paying the child support division in your state they then will disperse the money as they see fit as long as you get money to them on time your wife no longer will have any thing to say about it and the first is the first , it doesn't matter if its on sunday. now as for her little game of dirty pool... play it ..if she scedule soccer practice, take him, and be his biggest fan. this could get really messy.... my husbands ex use to have there son grounded every time my husband would call or come to see him... you may have to go to court again and have ve3ry spasific ground rules set

Answer 9

You are no longer married, for the sake of your Son, give up on the petty arguments, send her the check in advance and ignore her mean comments.

Good Luck,

Answer 10

Using a child in the way she is to go on some sick revenge trip is pathetic, if i was you i would try and get custody of the child yourself depending on stability home life etc.