Why do women have drastic opposite views from their mothers.?

Question

In most of the novels and biographies I have read it is apparent that a woman will have almost 180 degree opinion from that of her mother. This is a life long difference in most of the cases I have read about.

So, I was wondering if you have any more substantial reading material than my observations in literature. Thank you.

I must admit that I'm a "Motherless" child; hence the curiosity ... but with the knowledge I have, I see that I am extreemly different than she.

Answer 1

My own mother leans a bit to the left...but she and I still agree on a lot of things.

If I don't agree with her on a certain point, she chalks it up to having taught me to think for myself! LOL

Answer 2

Ask the 'mothers' how they felt about 'X' when they were 15, 25, 45 ? MOM has 'been there, done that' or at least knows people who did. She's trying to spare her daughter the pain.. loads of pain ! BUT it doesn't work.! She thinks if she confesses to her early misdoings, her kids will lose their respect for her OR "you did it, so can I". Say " be careful driving" . UNTIL the child is in a wreck, it means little. MOM suffers, MOM anticipates, MOM knows, MOM hugs child "are you hurt"? Then spanks the kid to relieve her own anger and angst.!! Read "PASSAGES", then take your nose out of the books....observe what you see, hear, write it down, ask moms and daughters. Real life is not in books (the author's opinions) Strangely enough, the daughter usually becomes the mom in time.

Answer 3

When I was younger and rebellious, I found that I had drastically opposite views from my mother. This sounds like a cliche, but now that I am older, I see the wisdom in some of her views, and find myself agreeing with a lot of what she used to say. As for reading material, how about the classic, "My Mother My Self" by Nancy Friday?

Answer 4

I think that isn't really true. We all go through periods of rebellion but I think that most women find themselves to be much like their mothers. I think the media has overblown a phenomena and we think we're supposed to disagree with our mothers.

As I get older, I realize more and more how I do think like my mother. I know I've heard her words come out of my mouth. And now that she's passed away, this is something I find particularly precious. A piece of her lives on through me.

Now that I'm the mother of two daughters myself, I find the stereotype particularly disturbing. The relationship between mothers and daughters is incredibly powerful. I don't want it spoiled by some artificial disagreement. This means that as they become adults, I may have to bite my tongue for a while. I think it is the mothers who don't realize their power and know when to quit that have the most problems.

Answer 5

i'm not that different from my mum.. We both think marriage is a waste of time. I agree when she tell's me not to bother having children.. maybe it's cause I always felt resented as a kid, and have always known I don't really want them myself and would probably resent them too. Don't get mad at me for this, it's not like it effects anyone else on the planet.

I don't agree with my mum's obsession with material things and holidays though. I'd rather just live life my way and not worry about how cool my car is or what designer shoes I must buy next.

Answer 6

I think it makes a difference if written by a man or a woman. Or maybe its something to be said even about writers/artists. Many women , even just 50 years years back, probably had to be pretty bold to get published.

But would agree with you, and I find the opposite to be true in real life.

Answer 7

In real life, most of us aren't opposite of our mothers. In fact, as we get older we usually become more like our mothers. At some point, your mother's voice will come out of your mouth. It's a shocking experience! LOL I think having conflict between mother and daughter is a good literary device. It makes for a more interesting story.