How Do I Let Go of Petty Stuff?

Question

For the most part (like 95%) my wife is a great partner and friend... and yet I can't seem to let go of petty stuff she does that bugs me... like for example... she says she is going to use the shower "right now" and so I wait for her to be done... and she doesn't get in the shower for 30 minutes... and I get bugged but I don't wanna say anything 'cause really, so what? But then I carry around this bugged feeling inside, instead of actually "letting go." And then I do something like get into a dumb fight at work or a stupid argument with someone on the subway or in the street...

So how do you "let go?" I mentally know it's a silly thing... I mentally know I'm being stupid, but how do you make it really go away?

I know I do petty things that probably bug her... but she seems to "let go" of them, rarely getting bugged... maybe I'm jealous of her ability to let go...

Answer 1

Either you are a really uptight guy or you have a grudge to bear for something that happened in the past. In any case, you are aware that you need to stop being so petty.

Do you know how to let go of the petty stuff? You just let it go. It is as simple as that. Seriously though, you know that your wife is a great partner and a good friend and you know that being human, we all have our annoying flaws. We all have our own special way about us. Why do you look to pick a fight with her? What does it say about you that you keep doing something that you know you should stop? She is not you; let her be herself.

In a hundred years from now, when your wife is on her death bed, are you really going to care that she took 30 minutes to get into the shower? You have got to learn to laugh at the little things and find the cuteness in them, for those are the things that make us unique.

Answer 2

Remember first that you love your wife, and 95% of the time she is great. Which is great for you because most wives aren't great half that amount. Remember that when you shower isn't really important. If it really bothers you, why not ask her next time if you can jump in for five minutes before her, and let her get the things done she wnats to do before hand and you can be in and out and the shower will still be ready for her when she is done. Remember also that you will have quirks that annoy her too, but she loves you and she'll live with them because you're great 95% of the time too. :) It is little stuff as you say, so breathe, laugh if you can, and let it go. :) Learn to love that your wife can actually be distracted so easily. It isn't done to annoy you, but a cute quirk she has because she's so easily entertained. :) Find the good in the things you don't like and it will help greatly. :) Maybe even play a game with her, like hiding her towel behind your back before she goes in and demanding a kiss if she wants it back. :)

Answer 3

Think of the good stuff that she does for you and why does this really annoy you does she make you late for work or something? Life is way more important then to be annoyed about little stuff like that. I get annoyed alot myself sometimes, it is hard to let go day in day out but we will effect others negatively sometimes becuase of it. Always say to your self it's water under the bridge or go do something to make your self busy so you'll be distracted while she waits to get into the bath Women always take a long time!! What do you do to annoy her? Retrain your thinking!!

Answer 4

In marriage, we have to learn to bite our tongue a lot, and overlook the small things that can turn into huge issues. But maybe the reason you can't let it go is because she is inconsiderate to you in bigger issues. Maybe she doesn't even realize how inconsiderate she is being. When you have been married for a while, you sometimes forget common courtesy. Sometimes we treat total strangers better than our spouses. Maybe try being extra considerate to her and usually that will bring about the same behavior from her. Try it. Good luck.

Answer 5

My husband does the same thing. Let me ask you something. Do you ever try and rush her to do something (like tell her to hurry in the shower so you can get in)? My guess is you do, even if you don't realize it. This could be the main problem. My husband is always trying to rush me to do what I need to do so that he can hurry up and do what he needs to do. To be honest with you, because of his rushing, I purposely take my time. This could be what your wife is doing also. To eliminate the shower situation...... take showers together instead of waiting for the other to get done.

Answer 6

Realize that you'll find petty stuff with any woman you ever fall in love with or marry. Also realize that you do just as many petty things that she probably can't stand and doesn't let go of. Also think of all the good qualities of your wife when you start to think of petty things. Finally............get over it!

Answer 7

Joke about it. My partner and I get on eachothers nerves over stuff like that sometimes. In fact, I do something very similar to what your wife does. He teases me. Of course, we both share a sardonic sense of humour and love insulting eachother. It's affection really! But you should know where the line is...laughter is the best medicine especially if you can get your wife to laugh at herself too.

Answer 8

Be more humble about your own failings. Seriously, if you are unaware of all the ways you bug your wife, then you are married to one patient, loving woman, and that should motivate you to be the same way towards her. Everybody is annoying to live with, everyone, even you. So show her grace, as you'd like to be shown.

Answer 9

Good question.

What works for me, is looking at myself through my husband's eyes and realizing that I do some petty, annoying things too. And then I think I should give him the same permission, or benefit of the doubt, for him to be that way, and I would like for him to give me.

Answer 10

You have to learn how to accept your wife's differences. If you know that right now for her means 30 minutes from now, do the things that you need to do so that you aren't upset.