My mother-in-law was just served with divorce papers. For almost 20 years we thought she was already divorced but it turns out she wasn't. She lied about it.
Now her husband wants a divorce because he's retiring and is getting a military pension and doesn't want her to get any of it. She thinks its all a game and thinks if she doesn't respond to the divorce petition it will all just go away and she will get half his pension. We all know she won't. She also says she won't change her name back to her maiden. Doesn't she have to do this? And will she get any of his pension money?
2007-04-03 04:08:08 · 31 answers · asked by Kimmy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They have not shared a home in over 24 years.
2007-04-03 04:14:26 · update #1
She doesn't have to change her name. The worst thing she could do is just not respond. At the hearing if she doesn't show up to contest anything then she gets nothing. So if she wants part of the pension tell her to go to court or else she gets nothing.,
2007-04-03 04:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not have to change her last name back to her maiden name. That is a choice. She's already registered every where with her married name, and it's a lot of hassle to get that changed. She can't just ignore the papers, they will follow her if he is adamant about a divorce, but the name change is up to her. In fact with young mothers, most of them chose to keep their married name so that it causes less confusion when their children at a school and they need to be contacted. Some also keep their married name because they have a business under that name, or are acknowledged by that name in many circles. The papers she has to address, the name is hers to keep if she likes. If everyone is against it, ask her why, but unfortunately you can't force her to change it, sorry. You also need to check with a lawyer, as in any place I know of, she will still get his pension. He married her and never filed for divorce through all this time. They have been married for decades, and he will have to share his pension with her.
2007-04-03 04:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she doesn't have to change her name back.
Most who go through a divorce however will since they want nothing to do with the other party.
That's not the case here though. She's in denial and it's just going to make matters worse in the long run.
She needs to move on in her life.
I don't think she'll get any of the money, however that's for a lawyer/court to decided. If she goes to court over this, she could say that she'll settle for a % of it.
It's kind of like a pay off for the divorce. (I'll give you so much money if you sign and walk away type thing)
She has options, she's just going to have to face the fact though that this guy doesn't want to be married to her any more. I mean they've been separated for how many yrs now?
time to move on!
2007-04-03 04:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually she does not have to change her name back to her maiden name it is her choice on what she wants to do and she will qualify for part of his pension even when the divorce goes through for the time that they were married even if they did not live together if they were legally married she does have a right to part of his pension in the eyes of the legal system.
2007-04-03 04:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by pickletbug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As people have said she doesn't have to change her name back. As for the pension it depends on state divorce laws but if they have been living seperate all this time then she probably wont have a legal leg to stand on in regards to the pension money and only then if she takes legal action. If she ignores the papers he can go to court without her and she will relinquish any claims simply by not showing up.
2007-04-03 04:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Elizabeth N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they were married for over 10 years she will get half of his military pension, that is military laws. And no she does not have to change her name back, my mother has been legally divorced for over 20 years but never changed her name back.
2007-04-03 04:11:52 · answer #6 · answered by Becky P 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No she doesn't have to change her name. Whether she gets any of her husband's pension is not a simple question. That will have to be determined by the Court. If they haven't lived together for the past 20 years (when you all thought they were already divorced) then it isn't likely she'll get anything, unless her husband has been sending her support all that time.
2007-04-03 04:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she doesnt have to change her name. And as far as the pension goes it depends on your state on how much she gets. In the state of Kentucky in which I live as long as she was married at least 7 years she will get half whether she gets a divorce or not. Each state has different guide lines.
2007-04-03 04:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by louann_jude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she does not need to change her name, but it would not make any difference as she may still be entitled to half of the military pension and other assets while she was legally married to the serviceman. It would depend on the state for some things, but the military pension and benefits such as medical coverage would still be hers if the marriage lasted long enough. ~
2007-04-03 04:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by Pey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to change your name when your get married or when you get divorced. I still have my married name cause it matches my kids but have been divorced for 5+ years.
The pension money? thats a different ball game, did he live with her, pay her anything or were they just separted for 20. The courts may look at it as abandoment and no in that case she wouldn't get any pension money. My advise get a really really good attorney and he can fight for the money, but no promise.
2007-04-03 04:13:37 · answer #10 · answered by 2shay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋