My husband, well, actually we are not married yet, but we've been together since I was 15 and I'm 22 now, and we have two kids.. Anyways... He lost his cell phone last night, and he said he gave it to me, and is accusing me of losing it... Everytime something of his is lost he accuses me. This morning when I was getting ready for work, he started arguing again with me about it. He even was cursing at me and calling me names.... I am thinking about leaving him to show him he cannot talk to me that way... I am so tiredof being blamed for every thing.. I don't know what to do. Please Help.....
2007-04-03 03:35:03 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems to me if he would use the time he wastes arguing with you and blaming you to actually look for the phone HE lost, he would have found it long ago. I think he wants you to leave, that's why all the blaming and accusations and starting fights. If you leave, he can tell all his "pals" that his " blankety-blank" girl-friend left him and he's devestated and hardly knows what he's going to do. Then, a few days later, the real reason for all this surfaces, a new significant other, who has been waiting for you to leave, just like he and her planned. I would just hang on and see where this is going. That other woman won't wait forever. Why should you leave and give him the perfect excuse to hook up with his new flame. I just have a feeling there is more to this than a lost cell phone. So, just bide your time and see what he does when you don't get mad and leave. Besides, your children need some place to live. I hope this helps.
2007-04-03 03:54:54 · answer #1 · answered by The Count 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he did give it to you and you lost it that still doesn't give him the right to act childish. If he loses his things then hes the one with the problem, tell him you don't lose your things. You put them away when your done with them, so you don't lose them. He might want to try that and taking responsibility for his actions and his belongings. If you put up with that now it will only get worse. If you think leaving to show him he cant talk to you like that means you come back in a few weeks or months you are sadly mistaken. If you come back all he'll learn is that he can treat you like a dog, you might leave but you will be back. Don't leave and come back to teach a lesson. If you leave stay gone, or stay and get counseling for the relationship. Also 2 kids without being married shame on you. If your relationship wasnt strong enough for marriage then you 2 should of never had children.
2007-04-03 03:46:46 · answer #2 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's acting that way so that you do leave him. You have been together since you were 15 and you are only 22 now. You have not had much time to grow and figure out who each of you are.
He maybe lashing out at you because he wants out. 22 with 2 kids is a lot for anyone to deal with and he may be frustrated by the fact that he isn't able to do the things that ither 22 year olds are doing like dating and going to parties and hanging out with friends.
I think that the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation about your relationship , your personal goals and the kids.
Because it seems to me that you two won't last much longer
2007-04-03 03:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I must admit that sometimes I do that myself....not sure why but if I can not find something I will ask my wife what she did with it LOL. However the yelling and cursing is not something that you should have to put up with. I got really upset with my wife one time and she looked at me and said....." Would you talk to your best friend this way?" It made me stop and listen to what I was saying to her....and now if things start to get a little out of hand....and just ask myself that question.
Best of luck
2007-04-03 03:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your man and tell him how you feel when he is constantly blaming you for things. Just say your "sorry" even if you didn't do anything. Tell him that when he yells at you, you are tired of it, and that you could possibly walk out if he doesn't stop. (tell him that to scare him) But don't leave because you have children and that would be unfair to them. Hope this helped a little, and Good Luck! (Show him whos boss..hehe)
2007-04-03 03:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason in the world you should put up with and tolerate being accused of things...and being called names. Sounds like he has an anger and major stress problem and takes it out on you. If you truly love him - or more importantly are in love with him, sit him down and talk to him, get his commitment to change and put your foot down by telling him you will not tolerate any of that garbage ever again. If you say it...mean it and stick to it and if it happens ever again...RUN! You don't deserve to be treated that way...no one does!
2007-04-03 03:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by chick33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever a person is frustrated and angered it is easiest to take it out on the person who is closes to us because we know we can. If his behaviour is really upsetting you, then you must talk to him and let him know that you are no longer gonna take his verbal attacks. If he still continues, then you must back up your words in order to get the results you want from him, or he will not take you seriously. Best of luck to you!
2007-04-03 03:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to suggest counseling. You both need to end these destructive patterns - he blaming you and you taking the blame.
If you can end that, maybe you can get back to the love in your relationship. You may also want to think if you really want to marry him.
2007-04-03 03:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for a time when he's not frustrated & talk to him about how this makes you feel. If he loves you, he won't want to be hurting you like this & will work on making changes to how he deals with frustrating situations.
2007-04-03 03:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First... I don't care how long you've been together or how many kids you spit out... You are NOT married, he is NOT your husband.
Second, he sounds like he's 12. Why do you put up with this? Why have you put up with it for so long and through 2 kids?
2007-04-03 03:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋