I have been married for 4 wonderful years to a man I adore! Recently we had something come up and he has had to be in Mexico for quite some time now. I live with my brother in law who is one year younger than me. I guess you could say I have been sexually stressed out lately and I'm not sure how to explain it but I ended up having sex with my brother in law. Now I have no feelings for this guy, I love my husband and have no intentions of ever leaving him. Now, is it possible to keep my marriage the same and go back to normal? I know for a fact that my brother in law was just a one time thing and he has no feelings for me either, I mean he has a girlfriend and Im of course married. It's weird because it's like nothing changed...we are the same towards eachother, only we know what we did. I'm confused? Is it possible to keep it hush hush and keep my marriage? I want honest answers please...what would you do?!
2007-04-03 01:59:17 · 24 answers · asked by Proud Mommy! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know, you are in a tough situation. Not only did you cheat on your husband, but you did it with his brother. He has been away for some time now and you have been stressed out, but it's no reason to stray with another man, especially him. It was apparently a one time deal, you are both in committed relationships and if you truly do not intend on repeating what had happened, just keep it hush hush. Just make sure he does the same. You don't want to ruin your marrige due to one stupid mistake and I'm sure he dosen't want to ruin his relationship with his girlfriend either. Just forget that it had ever happened, and move on. Act natural around each other, like you used to. You may want to discuss this with your brother in law, so that the two of you are on the same page, and he dosen't change his mind about telling your husband when he returns, you don't want to end up looking like a liar.
2007-04-03 02:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It will burden you forever. When your husband comes home and the three of you are together, you and his brother will be sharing a secret (hidden from your husband). It may have been a one time thing, but you will keep reliving it every time your together. Eventually, your husband will get suspicious at a comment, look or gesture passed between you and your brother in law. He will put two and two together and figure out what happened. When he does, he will be pi$$ed off. Instead of just HIM having intimate knowledge of you, he will know his brother knows everything as well.
You cheated and screwed up. You owe it to him to be honest and tell him and suffer the results. How would you feel if it happen between him and your sister? Would you say, "it's OK honey that you screwed my sister"? You would be livid! Expect the same from him. You should have purchased a variety of vibrators before hubby left. No matter how bad the temptation is, you should be able to refuse it if you really love your husband. You did it because there was doubt before, now lack of trust forever.
2007-04-03 02:27:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I guess the simple honest answer is that you can try to keep it hush hush and see if that holds. You are a cheat and a liar if you do that and a cheater only if you come clean with your husband. These things always seem to find a way out of the closet later on, so if you want to run that risk, okay, but know it will be out there.
2007-04-03 02:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am divorced because my sister slept with my husband. All under the name of friendship. This relationship went on for 10 years, under the name of friendship, being told I was crazy nothing was going on. Till I found a receipt for diamond earrings and showed him the door. You have no idea what damage you are doing. It not only destroys your marriage it will destroy his family . He will end up hating his brother. All for a piece of a*****. If you think it will stay a secret forget it .
I am still living the hell that this type of relationship destroyed.
I sure hope you get what goes around comes around. You two deserve only the worse life can give you. You have destroyed two families.
2007-04-03 02:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the person who posted before me. You should move out if you can afford it. Also I agree with the person it could be a way to blackmail later on.....It is a tricky situation you can tell and cause strain in your marriage and between brothers or you can keep a silent guilt. Suggestion. Counseling for you and it may help you decide what to do as far as telling your husband or not.
They do say blood is thicker than water....Good luck with what ever you decide to do.
2007-04-03 02:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by I have his love. 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, nothing will ever be the same. You have violated a sacred trust. While it may be possible to rebuild your relationship, when your husband finds out (and he will, eventually) trusting you will be next to impossible, at least for a while. You have a long road ahead of you. This could really go either way.
2007-04-03 02:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suppose it's possible. But, my ex wife slept with my brother. Just once, I think. I'm soooooooo thankful I found out. I could have continued living with that Antichrist. I got divorced, and looked forward to killing my brother. Sadly, in a weak moment, I promised my father I wouldn't kill him, as long as Dad was alive. Unfortunately, my brother died on his own, before Dad passed. So, I'll never get the satisfaction of killing him myself. And for that, I'll always feel bad, and have had a hard time knowing that Dad's influence prevented me from taking the proper action. As for the ex wife, I can't kill her, because she is the Mother of my children. It is a sore spot in my life. No human has EVER done anything remotely as bad as she did to me, without dying.
2007-04-03 03:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I will say that it is possible to keep it a secret.. Maybe hubby doesnt read yahoo answers and that being said.. Hubbys best friend, brother can be kept a secret if they are the only 2 who know about it..
2007-04-03 03:33:28 · answer #8 · answered by mom2sam_tiny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was a one time thing and will NEVER happen again, I would not tell my husband. Why should he have to suffer for your mistake. He will have to deal with an affair and the betrayal of his brother and his wife. How do you live with that? You need to carry this burden to your grave. There is no need to put your husband through this pain.
2007-04-03 02:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is possible to keep it hush hush
However there are consequences to doing so - it's ripe blackmail material.
In most cases it is better to have it out in the open.
2007-04-03 02:06:15 · answer #10 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋