I'm afraid she won't believe me?

Question

Hi,
I am trying to deal with the fact that I was abused as a child once by a close family member. I have talked to my counsellor about this but I am afraid to tell her about what happened because I fear she won't believe me as it only happened once. It's a known fact that people who abuse children often don't stop at it being once. Should this be something I should worried about?
x

Answer 1

Don't be afraid to tell her about the abuse. Whether it was once or a dozen times, it was still abuse and I'm sure it affected you and how you feel about certain things in your life. It may even be a factor in how you trust or don't trust people, how you deal with your relationships and how you feel about yourself in general. If you don't feel comfortable enough with your counselor, maybe you should find another one whom you trust more. A good counselor will listen to you and believe what you say, then try to help you work through it. Please don't be ashamed, or feel like it was in any way your fault....it's not, you are the totally innocent one in all of this. Talk about it and let it out. Once you do, I think you will feel some relief and be able to start working on getting through it. I hope you find peace within and help in dealing with this traumatic experience.

Answer 2

If you tell your counsellor she'll ask for more info to determine if you're lying or not - some people do. If you're telling the truth she'll know and she'll help you move forward. You can't let this go becasue it WILL haunt you for the rest of your life. This is something that needs healing, and it can be healed. If she doesn't believe you, go somewhere else - clergy, another counsellor, or some help line in your area.

Whether it happened one time or one hundred times doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that it happened, you got hurt, and you need to deal with this. Don't say anything to your abuser. They'll just threaten you and tell you noone will believe you anyway. This person has had their alibi worked out for years, so don't try to fight them.

Please honey, don't let this go.

Answer 3

You know what happened to you, your counsellor should be trained to help you and personally I would speak open and honest with her.

People that abuse others use certai words or phrases to make you feel that it is your fault, but it isnt your fault.

I am aware of a number of people that have been abused, and a particular lady I met online told me about one of her family members who abused her, she wrestled with prosoceution, decided against it and several of her relatives have been abused since, usually the very youg females it appears.

This came to light as one of her relatives was beig abused and they did something about it, and she felt guilty in that if she had done then what they were doing today then maybe the other children wouldn't have suffered.

You have to be comfortable and trust the person you are speaking to as it is very difficult situation to deal with in terms of how it makes you feel.

I hope the counselling works and that the perso resposible doesn't abuse again.

Answer 4

She will believe you, if she is a decent counselor. I believe you and I am a counselor. Now just because the abuse only happened once does not make is less believable. Not at all. There are many reasons it happened only one time and none of those reasons are important here. What is important is, you need to talk about it. If you do not, you will feel more and more shame and that can have a dramatic effect on your life.

Tell the counselor, trust her/him. You need to talk about this. You mentioned it here, now deal with it in counseling. You can do it!!
Dr. J

Answer 5

You must tell your mother and get this person stopped, because if they get away with it once then they will keep doing it by telling you will save some else from this horrible ordeal and get justice for you self. the same thing happened to me when i was young i never told and that secret was one of the reasons the broke up my marriage so you have to tell if your mother dose not believe you don't give up tell some one else like you counsellor.

Answer 6

the answers lye in your head, but from my experience in matters you cant bottle things up, they will come out sooner or later whether you want them to or not, it will send you over the edge or it will affect you state of mind, but there may come a point when your older and more mature when you can deal with the exposure in a better way?
i think you are right, you may or may not be able to deal with this problem in your mind, i dont know you to be fair, but ask yourself the question, if they did this to you, what will stop them doing this to other poeple? maybe you have a duty to other people to expose this person?
on the other hand this may split up your family>? but remember anything bad that comes from revealing the truth will only be caused the person who abused you in the first place? your just exposing them for what they are!
but remeber!!! its not your fault!!!
and anything resulting as a consiquence will be because of thier actions.
good luck and remember you arent alone there are some great people who can support you through this,

x

Answer 7

Iam so sorry that happened to you. You are being really brave to go see someone. No, I don't think you have to worry about her taking you seriously. I hear what you are saying about most being repeat offenders but, not all. If your councler doesn't hear you out or give you the support you need...move on...request a new one. If you ever want some friendly support feel free email me.

Answer 8

what was the point of consulting a counsellor if you didn't divulge what actually took place and your quest is vague was it your Father/Brother if so see that your mother has the facts he might still be committing the abuses

Answer 9

You should definitely tell your counsellor, even if if they only did it once. It's still abuse. I hope your counselling helps you and good luck hun x

Answer 10

Whether it happened once, or several times. It still happened, and i do not believe you can come to terms with it unless you tell someone else aloud- so do it for you. and maybe in the process it'll stop someone else from suffering too.