My son is 28 yrs. old and became involved with a girl that is 18 yrs. of age. I think they only knew one another for about a month before he invited her to move in with him. They appear to be very compatible and in love. That was about 3 months ago now. Should I have said anything? I think he's old enough to know what he is doing? Is it too late to give advice now? My parents only gave advice when it was asked for. What's the rule when the children are old enough?
2007-04-02 18:46:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, this has nothing to do with marriage and divorce. This has to do with "I forgot to use birth control 28 years ago..." But, you can give advice if you like although he is an adult and you shouldn't expect him to listen. My partner moved in with me before I even called him my boyfriend. We were sleeping together and he needed a place to stay and then we fell in love. Of course, my parents don't know any of this. Don't think just because they moved in together quickly that it won't work out. Of course, there is something very creepy about a 28 year old man dating an 18 year old. Can we assume your son has watched too many "Barely legal" videos or what? Sounds like he's a predator. Good one on that mom.
2007-04-02 18:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a mom, always a mom! But your baby is 28 mom!! We need to let our kids make some mistakes you know!! God knows we did!! Either way, his hormones are bouncing all over the place for the 18 year old-give your son a break!!! Sometimes we need to sit back and just try to relax, and be there to help pick up the pieces, if that happens. If our kids marry, we for sure need to step out of the situation!!! I try to throw a few comments in when she's not looking!!
2007-04-02 18:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....well, it seems as though she is just old enough to fly the coop, and hasn't yet had a chance to. It depends on how your son receives advice or critique, as to whether you should give him advice or not. It could work, there is always that possibility, my parents are ten years apart and they have been married almost 20 years. No one is ever old enough to know everything. Good luck sweetie, hope that helps. Maybe just ask him where he sees this relationship going, in a loving way, not being rude, just ask him if he feels she is the one or something along those lines.
2007-04-02 18:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by jashaunte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be more than a little concerned if I had a son your age and he was involved with someone 10 years younger than him. Most 18 year olds are pretty emotionally immature- what can they possibly have in common? What is wrong with her parents that they didn't put a stop to this. Yes, you should have pretended to be a mother and spoken up three months ago.
2007-04-02 18:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 28 years of age, your son will figure out if he made the right choice or not. If it is the latter, he will grow from this experience. You did the right thing by staying quiet. You'll both know when the choice is right.
I always have accepted my 29 year old sons choices. He is now with a gem of a girl, and he is happy. That is all I've wanted.
2007-04-02 18:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by tiger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
anyone can give advise if it asked for. You might approach this by saying you have something to get off of my chest or off of the end of my shoe and into your butt - because I am still your mother. With her being 18 - she has probably not sewn her wild oates..and when the emotion, newness and better yet the pure sexual desire wears off then you might be able to talk to him but for now....he is probably ready to settle down but her....he will probably come home and find her getting to know his four best friends in a biblical way. if so, take pictures and make some money off the deal...that is what happened to both of my sons....one of them took pictures....and sued her...(not kidding) he won 4,000 and she had to pay for a shrink for him for 5 months.
2007-04-02 19:08:05 · answer #6 · answered by educationisindoctrination 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both are of consenting age, once your son turned 18 himself he is responsible for his own actions, sure you could have put your two cents in but he still needs to find out some things the hard way...and if it should all turn out for the best...tell him you knew it would.
2007-04-02 19:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 18 and that is pretty young, but she's of legal age. Hey, if they seem happy together, whats to say? 3 months later if their still together, they must be doing OK.
I would worry more about if she knows what she's doing then him. Geez, he's 28, my concern would be more with her. But the fact remains there is nothing you can so about it.
2007-04-02 18:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do now. He is an adult and so is she. I think her parents are the ones who should give her advice ONLY if he is abusive or if they see that she is just with him for a 'father figure'. You said they are in love, but is she really in love with him? Or is he like her father to her...?
Only give advice when he decides to ask you.
2007-04-02 19:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, theres a difference between advice and a lecture.
And a fine line between them.
If he askes you opinion then yes, tell him honestly what you believe.
But if you breach the subject without reason he may see it as you "butting in" to his life.
He is a grown man, and sometimes you have to fall a couple times before you can stand, if you know what I mean.
2007-04-02 18:58:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋