Ok so there must be something in the water because 6 girls at school are pregnant and they are like freshman and sophomores. There are 5 people at my work who are pregnant. I am 18 and i know that I am definatly not ready for a baby but I know that I want to be a mom one day. My boyfriend who I am going to marry doesn't want any kids till he is in his mid 30s. I think that is too long because I dont want to be old when they graduate. How do I explain to him that I want to be a mom in 5 years or so. I know we are still young but this is what I want.
2007-04-02 17:39:57 · 9 answers · asked by Meghan 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Maybe he see the same thing. Young kids having kids and that is not something he wants. So he just says 30. And means when he can provide for you and the child. So not realy 30 but later on. And feels he will not have everything he wants till he is 30.
So try not to worry to much. The two years after high school change a person and the views on life. Hang in there marry the man in a few yrs and all will work out.
And how do you explain it.....Well you did just fine here. Tell him as time goes by where you are at with things. And he will do the same.
2007-04-02 17:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by charontheloose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well this may sound offensive and I don't mean for it to but even though you are young, when you are considering dating someone you should bring up a conversation involving how they feel about having children, getting married, etc...
Now that you are already in a relationship with a man who doesn't want children until he is in his mid-30's you can simply explain to him why you feel you want children. Tell him that you are not trying to pressure him but that you want him to try and understand how you feel about having children before yours or his mid 30's.
Maybe by the time you ready to have a child he will be accepting of it, if not then you have a choice to make. "Do you want to keep your boyfriend and have children when he wants them, or do you want children more than you want the relationship with him"
Most likely those are the only options he will provide, if he truly is serious about not having children until a certain age.
2007-04-03 00:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meghan, you do have a ticking clock, one that won't begin to bother you until you hit 30 and then it begins to tick louder and louder. It's different for guys. We want to feel secure, to feel we can handle the economic realities of children. It also helps if the father is a bit older because he matures later than mom. Having said all that, the two of you should be on the same page. If you don't want babies right now, wait until you're ready. Perhaps by then you'll be thinking about a different father. Perhaps your current man will decide he is ready sooner than he now thinks. But you're smart to keep discussing it. Communication is the key to a good relationship. Without communication, all sorts of problems come up. So communicate...and good luck. Whatever you decide it will be the right thing.
2007-04-03 00:49:13 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you just talk to your boyfriend about the situation and try and work out an agreement with him before you both get married. Ask him why he doesnt want children? When i was your age i wanted children too and now that i am pregnant and about to have my child i think to myself i could have waited a few more years just so i could live my life a bit more. Who knows in a couple of years time he might change his mind you'll see.
2007-04-03 01:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by annabelle21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reality check:
1. You are 18.
2. You are not going to marry THIS boyfriend.
3. Your boyfriend wants nothing to do with marriage or children, so leave him alone about it!
4. Trapping him by getting pregnant on purpose will only result in you being a single mom and him running off and not paying child support - TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!
5. You have no idea where you'll be in 5 years.
2007-04-03 00:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
Go to college, see the world first, and THEN and only then should you consider marriage and children. There is a whole world of opportunities to explore out there. Get curious and go explore- you are young ,enjoy your own life first.
2007-04-03 00:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by jamieleelew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about why he doesn't want kids in 5 years and see if you can come to a decision about children together......if you can't then you might wanna rethink marraige
2007-04-03 00:43:57 · answer #7 · answered by Love always, Kortnei 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dont get married if you can not have a kid when you want one.You will regret the marriage.
2007-04-03 00:51:35 · answer #8 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be open and honest with him maybe you guys can meet half way thats the way relationships should work. good luck
2007-04-03 00:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by serenitydaus 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋