before we got engaged, my gf cheated on me with a guy from work, but only told me she did after 6 months.( she herself told me.. i never had to ask her) i forgave her and we carried on... then we got engaged,,, and she cheated on me again.. not once.. but atleast about 6 times.. with another guy from work... i dint know.. she suddenly asked me if we were too early to be enganged... and she said she has this attraction for another guy(2nd guy).. the thing is i always told her be honest with me and ill forgive you.. now i feel thats a mistake..? what do you think?? is she worth forgiving?? she also says she has a problem of craving attention and she wants to work this out.
2007-04-02 17:34:19 · 19 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Consider yourself lucky you found out how she really is before you tied the knot. Having said that, consider carefully if this is the kind of woman you want to put up with after marriage? She admitted she has a problem with attention and no matter what you say or do, you will never be enough for her. I think you can do better than this.
2007-04-02 17:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by Aurora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cheated once, told you, you forgave her, good for you. While forgiving can be done, forgetting can't. Now, after accepting your engagement ring, she still cheats. Not once but several times. She has definite insecurity issues and needs the constant reinforcement of other men to make her feel better about herself. I hate to say this, but she will not change.
She says she wants to work things out, that's easy for her to say. She wants to keep you, but she will continue to find other men to give her attention and more, no matter how much you try to keep her happy.
She shows a lack of respect for you and you don't deserve to be treated that way. I'm sorry to say this, but it's time to move on. You sound like a very nice person. I'm sure you will find someone who appreciates you, someone that you can trust, and will work at a relationship with you.
Good luck.
2007-04-02 18:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by almostalwaysaldy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell that you really love her by the way that you asked this question.
BUT... you need to realise that this person does not love you or respect you in any way.
To cheat once is a horrible mistake, twice is unforgiveable and to do it over and over again - she doesn't give a sh8t about you or how you feel.
Dump her *** or you will marry someone that will constantly cheat on you and then say she has issues and needs help. Trying to get your sympathy - you deserve a whole lot more than this.
A lot of people crave attention but that does not mean that you have sex with people to get it.
She sounds really messed up and immature.
Good Luck with the happily ever after with this chick
2007-04-02 17:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend of 6 months cheated on me. She was also a self-admitted attention seeker, but I forgave her and we continued on. Then we got engaged and every time we'd go out with my friends (or any males) she'd be all over them. I looked the other way because when we were alone she seemed fine. I knew something wasn't right but I married her anyway.
Well, I'm now divorced.
The moral of the story is your girlfriend cheated on you not once but twice. She craves attention from others not because of anything you do or don't do, but because that is who she is. If you want my advice, as hard as it is, you have to leave her. It can only end badly for you.
Good luck. :)
2007-04-02 17:43:21 · answer #4 · answered by Captain Fluffy Pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell away from her. Shes bad news. Once maybe but as many times as she has cheated on you definitely tells me she doesnt want to be tied down. You cant trust her as her word means nothing and she thinks nothing of cheating on you. She will only continue doing what shes doing to you and you deserve better. Just tell her you cant live with her in her world and youre breaking off the engagement and moving on. Dont trust her lies and dnt ever look back. You can find someone who you can trust fully and never have to think about what shes doing. Move on and be happy! Good luck
2007-04-02 17:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the only way, but enabling her is wrong for both of you!
You should have told her
"CHEATING WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED" and if you cheat were through!
This is coming from a cheater who wanted nothing but what I wanted!
I hurt my husbands, and innocent people because I would not accept responsibility for my actions!
My new husband is almost 7 years younger then me and has said "If I cheat were done, no second chances, no misunderstandings"!
I believe him, but also will admit I finally grow up and realized there consequents for my actions!
Thats the "key" , if she can't understand the pain she cause's by her action "CUT HER LOOSE" and move forward in life!
The are plenty of women who want to be with a man who will be faithful and HONEST!
I have no pity for CHEATERS like myself, or your lady, or anyone at all . WE CHEAT WE NEED TO LOSE!
Hope that helps you.
Please be healthy and safe.
2007-04-02 19:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should postpone the engagement, but give her another chance. If the chance you gave her works out in the future, then give it a try. However, I personally do not recommend you to marry such a woman, as she has exhibited incredibly faithless acts. If she acts like this in your engagement, what more in your marriage? Consider your future married life, and ponder on whether a relationship with such a woman would really last. I mean, marriage is a lifetime commitment (supposedly). But of course, Americans have divorce as their option.
2007-04-02 17:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by Charlotte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of her. She is just keeping you as a spare in case nothing better comes along. The other option is to tell her to start charging the guys she is cheating with, that way she isn't cheating she is earning an honest living. If you stay involved with her your asking for years of heartache.. Good luck!
2007-04-02 17:50:35 · answer #8 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants...shes not worth settling don with, she will only break your heart. However she is honest with you which means she might have a problem. If you want to work this out couples therapy? If thats too much she's not worth your time.
2007-04-02 17:45:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is very important in a relationship, it's also fragile like glass, once you break it, it never is the same or you can't piece it back together. FORGIVE ONLY IF YOU CAN FORGET. If not, there is someone better for you other than her.
2007-04-02 17:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋