Should I be mad at him?

Question

At work tonight, I called my fiance to ask him to pick me up from work b/c I am sick and did not trust myself to drive home without passing out behind the wheel. But he then informed me that he was staying at his best friends house overnight b/c they were going to have a few drinks and he didnt want to drive. Rather than cancel his plans and make sure I was ok, he ended up going to his buddy's b/c "it's his only night off of work this week." Do you think I am being to hard on him or are my feelings justified? I don't care that he hangs out with his buddies, in fact we all are friends, and they come over to my place atleast six nights a week. All I was asking for was a little TLC while I am sick........

Answer 1

I'd be mad, his "buddy" sounds like "girlfriend" to me. If my wife called with the problem you called him with, I'd drop everything to make sure you got home safely, then went to my "buddys".

Answer 2

You are fully justified in the way you feel here. Any guy that wont help his sick fiance out when she needs him the most and puts his other friends first, is no real man. He just showed you where you rate in his life. You didnt ask much at all here, just a little compassion and he failed. Definitely lost his man of the year award and his white knight status. If his friends and some drinks are more important to him then you are, Id seriousily rethink my relationship with him as this may be a sign of things to come. You definitely cant count on him for anything, big or small. He dug his own grave here. Just think how he would have felt, if something did happen driving yourself home. Seriously think about it and good luck

Answer 3

I have to agree with the poster who asked if you have a history of trying to get him to pay attention to you over his friends. If his friends are over 6 nights a week, maybe there is some jealousy regarding attention going on behind the scenes? If that's not the case, you completely have a right to be upset. However, that you phrased it "did not trust myself to drive home without passing out behind the wheel" sounds a lot like a friend of mine who is always creating extra drama in her life and others in her quest for attention. You didn't just want him to pick you up, you specifically were upset that he wouldn't "cancel his plans." Hmmm.. I can't tell you how many times I've had to change plans to pick my friend up when she's got some ailment or other that she's going to pass out from. (I've yet to see her pass out). Sorry if this is not you, just struck a chord. Maybe the issue wasn't this incident, but that you're not getting the attention or caring you feel you deserve from him in general - and you may be justified.

Answer 4

Were you being unreasonable? Hard to say without knowing your history and the exact circumstances. If this is something he had planned for a while or his friends were only in town for one day and you have a history of trying to get him to choose you over his friends (ie your not really sick, etc) then yes you were being unreasonable.

I don't think that was the case, btw, but only you know for sure, and it strikes me as weird that you weren't sure you could drive yourself home. You don't mention any long term disease which is so debilitating it could totally incapacitate you and if you were so sick you could barely function then you should have been rushed to the hospital. Having a headache/fever is a pain but hardly puts you in a state where you couldn't drive unless you took a whole bunch of heavy duty medication.

However, even though it's a strange request, it's hard to see his point of view on this. If my woman called me up and said she didn't feel well and wanted me to drive her home, I'd try to re-arrange my schedule to make sure she was taken care of. I'd get her home and bundle her into bed, then I'd head off to friends.

Is that what you're mad at, btw? Not staying over at your house all night instead of going to friends? Because while the not-driving-you-home part strikes me as strange, the not-spending-the-night-taking care-of-you really doesn't. If you're sick enough for that kind of care you should be in a hospital (and I doubt you'd be coherent enough to type the question on Yahoo Answers). If you're just not feeling well, then it is unreasonable to expect him to stay the night waiting at your bedside, especially when he has other plans/committments.

I don't know. His behavior is strange but so is the whole situation. Without further details it's difficult to say.

Answer 5

If someone loves you, your needs should come first, especially if this is a rare event. From the sounds of it, you are open to his partying with his friends, and this can be done at any time. So what, you have to change plans for this week, you can always take a "rain check" for a better time. Party's are where the people who care about each other happen, planned or unplanned.
Anything could change in a minute. He should be there for you. I bet, you would be there for him, if the circumstances were reversed.

Answer 6

Men are not made to give TLC, but when they get sick they are the biggest babies,generally speaking. I know my husband loves me without doubt but when I 'm sick I take care of myself and don't expect anything from him and sometimes he surprises me by the things he does,like bringing me soup or cleaning the house,doing laundry etc.In your case it would have been better if he at least got you home, so I say yes,you are justified in being upset with him.

Answer 7

Where does "getting mad" get you? This demonstrates a problem with your relationship. Find a way to communicate and to work things out BEFORE you get married...rather than after.

I would suggest reading books like "Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars." This will help.

Answer 8

i dont waste my time to an irresponsible fiance .What you ask is very simple yet he didnt show he cares. I believe he doesnt love you as much as you love him and that's unknown.

Answer 9

That's not a very good fiance!!! I would kick my mans butt later and tell him to ask his buddy if he has room for one more permanitly!!!

Answer 10

Well, as long as he is not expecting you to drop everything and make him the no. 1 priority in your life (which you definitely shouldn't!).....