whats wrong with me?

Question

i am a 18 year old female, i have got pregnant by my boyfriend twice and he talked me into 2 abortions that i didnt want but i did it anyway because i felt pressured. i killed my baby when i was 4 months pregnant and i feel horrible...my appetite has picked up and i feel so restless but i cant sleep...i got 6 hours of sleep over the last 50 hours...my friends abandoned me and my mother doesnt care about my feelings...i feel lost...i get so sad so fast...i get frustrated even faster...i keep crying i feel so bad

Answer 1

You are going through depression. you really should seek professional help. Go to the clinic where you got the procedure done. Start taking care of yourself, you cannot change the choices you have made but you can start making better choices now. I don't mean at all that choosing to terminate your pregnancy was not the right choice, it very likely was. What I am saying is that if you continually have unprotected sex, stay with this unsupportive boy and have abortions you will continue feeling lousy. Pick yourself up, ditch the boy, take a sabbatical from sex, get your head together and get strong again. Once you are tuly strong noone will be able to influence your decisions in a negative way. you control you! Call the doctor and get an appt. to talk to someone, it is perfectly normal to feel this way, besides your hormones are all out of whack.

Answer 2

Baby, it sounds like depression to me. I've been there and it sounds like what I went through. Your in a bad situation and it feels like you can't see a way out. You don't sleep and food doesn't satisfy, you feel abandoned and lost. Same as I did.
Get help and get it a.s.a.p. Go to your local doctor and get a referral to a councilor, and accept the medication, if that's what your doctor says you need.
This could be caused by out of whack hormones, or the fact your in a situation which isn't right for you, or your feelings of guilt, but any way you need to get help, and get it now, for your own well-being.
That's the first thing. Next comes the harder part. Why are you getting pregnant to a man who has shown you twice that he doesn't want children? If you do want kids, this is not the man for you. If the pregnancy's were mistakes, then you have to look to a better method of contraception - whatever your doing (and I am assuming your doing something) then it isn't working.
I'm not saying that you can't have kids, but if I were you I wouldn't have them in this relationship and I wouldn't have them yet - your body needs time to recover, and so does your inner being. He has disregarded the way you feel and what you want, pressurizing you into a decision that you didn't want. He shows that he isn't ready for the kind of commitment you want, and it would be unfair to bring children into that kind of situation.
Please don't think that if you just had a kid together, everything would be OK. Too many girls have thought that way and ended up alone with a kid to care for, or perhaps even worse, in a relationship were the partner is constantly resentful of being trapped.
Again speaking from experience. Even though my partner had already proposed before I became pregnant (contraception failure), he used that as an excuse for his affairs, telling his mistresses that I had trapped him into marriage. So baby don't make the same mistakes. Take it from someone who hurt for too many years. Give yourself time to grieve those kids you won't have, give yourself permission to get help (YES, you are worth it) and KNOW that you do deserve better treatment from those who are supposed to love you.
Take care, B.

Answer 3

First off, it is your body and your choice, honey. No one can tell you what to do with it. If your boyfriend didn't want children but still made the mistake of impregnating you twice, and forcing you to get an abortion, he does not sound like a nice person, nor the person for you.

I suggest you seek counselling for your depression over the abortions. Speak with a doctor, and see if they can give you medication, even. But it sounds to me that you may just need to sit down with someone who is experienced and talk out your feelings, you will probably feel a relief.

You can also ask for a sleeping pill to calm you down at night, or try Tylenol PM.

But, please, if this man has made you do these things without any regard for your feelings ... leave him. He is not worth these things. No man is worth you feeling like this and being pressured into quite serious things that you don't want.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do, and I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 4

Wow, you're just as lost as Danni. I recommend emailing [e-mail]

Okay so 4 months preg abortion is sorta bad, alright. I don't get why people get so wrapped up over abortion. The abortion was the right thing to do.

Two reasons I see abortion as not evil

A) It is not technically killing (mabye at 4 months, not sure.) It is taking away a chance at a baby. It is only taking a little speck from your uterus.

B) If you chose to accept the chance, the baby's life would suck, they would grow up emotionally twisted, and you would lose all chance at a normal life. So would you have a normal teenager or two emotionally hurt people? It would make the baby's life better to not have lived, because that's what they would have wanted (they would probably be suicidal.)

It sucks that you're alone in the world. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have loving parents. Try going to a women's center.

Answer 5

What you are feeling is common, and nothing is wrong with you on that end. And, your body needs to adjust, It is in shock so to speak, It was preparing for a pregnancy, and it was abruptly ended, so you have to get back to normal. However, I really feel like, you probably need to be more careful during sex, as obviously your boyfriend is not interested in fatherhood. It may do you good to consider your options in that relationship, as it is not emotionally healthy to go through what you have. And, If you feel no support, what is the point?
Abortion looks like an easy fix, but it never really leaves you. I have been through this myself, and I hope that what I can offer you as advice will help you, as it did me.
I thought that after I had done this that God would never allow me to have a baby. I hated myself for many years and suffered depression, as you are.
To get through it, I had to pray my way to knowing that I was forgiven. The abortions that I had, were not decisions of my own, as you were pressured, so was I.
I eventually found someone, who loved me, and I now am married with three kids. So I know that I was given another chance.
Know that you will feel better, do not lose sight of this.

Answer 6

#1: DON'T FEEL BAD! it's all done now, and you can't change the past, so get on with the future. Join a club or something, and do away with this boyfriend you have. He's no good.
#2: Don't let eating take over you! You'll be TWICE as depressed if you get fat! Get on a diet, and remind yourself not to eat just because you're bored. Start new, see a counselor, and get your life back.
GOOD LUCK, HON!

Answer 7

Your boyfriend doesn't seem like a great guy, I know you probably don't want to know this, but I think you should leave him. He's supposed to be there for you and help support you, not help convincing you to do something you probably did not want to do. Now you have to live through this and your mother is probably upset, because you keep making mistakes, which your boyfriend is the one making you make these mistakes. You can always make new friends, try to regain your trust with your mother, try to be personal if you can and talk to her about your situation and how you feel.

Answer 8

I am so sorry- please email me if you want to talk more personally. You are feeling this way because of your abortions. You know what you did was wrong- you aren't sleeping because your thoughts are about those abortions. I am sorry that your friends have abandoned you and your mom doesn't care how you are feeling. That certainly does not help. You can be healed of your abortions spiritually through Jesus Christ. Even though what you did was wrong He is forgiving, but only through the shed blood of Christ. IF you want to email me please do- I can help you- and if you want to learn about a course you can go through that will help you heal call 1-800Carenet for your nearest pregnancy center, that has post abortion counseling.

Answer 9

I agree. It is hard, but you may have to let bf go. I know you feel bad about it already. You may be suffering from a form of postpartum. They didn't warn us about that when we got the procedure done. They were right that it wouldn't hurt much physically. But they failed to tell us how much it would hurt emotionally. If your feelings of depression last or have lasted for more than two weeks, you really do need to see somebody for it.

I wish you all the best in life, Honey. Big hugs. You can email me if you would like to know my story.

Answer 10

there's actually a condition called post-abortion syndrome or something like that. Its usually a sad or angry feeling that some girls experience after having an abortion. it is more severe in some than others. It sounds like you could really benefit from a therapist. Contact your doctor for a referral or look up your area's mental health center.