I thought that he was a nice guy before all of this, but I'm not sure now. He saw me on saturday night - out at a bar and just smiled. I thought that he recognized me. Today, he told me - didn't ask - to meet him tomorrow night at a bar that's near where he lives. I'm worried that he wants to blackmail me - he's higher on the food chain than me and could make my life hell - what can I do?
2007-04-02 10:59:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It was a straight bar - and I think that he's straight though you never know.
2007-04-02 11:03:01 · update #1
Just talked w/him - after a lot of mumbling, he said that he was very attacted to me. More importantly, he
agreed to meet me at a place of my choosing. I'm still a bit nervous, though I'm not nearly as worried as I was - it took a lot of courage for him to explain himself today. So we're going to meet tonight - and he's buying me dinner!
2007-04-03 05:04:19 · update #2
A few things...first listen to everyone on this board 'Don't go'...you want to know why...because it sounds like he is a T-chaser like several folks have mentioned on here---okay you are not a fetish, but a person who enjoys your own personal fetish. If he wants to get with you so bad--turn the tables on him....tell him that you want to meet at a place that you picked out (at least you know it is safe). Honey, just be careful---you hear all the horror stories about our people being beat up because of being caught off guard. Be forewarned okay---we are all family and when one of us is hurt--we all hurt! Case in point: Matthew Shepherd. Please be careful---you know how these crazy men are out here--awful and they get pleasure out of seeing people stress and struggle! Make him meet you on your own terms--if he likes that part of you and wants to get to know your feminine side, make him be a man and tell him that you would feel comfortable meeting him in neutral territory! If you must go--take some pepper spray and mace and also a fork or something (even though I don't support violence---if he tries anything spray his face and run hone, run)! Be prepared honey for the good or the bad! Good luck tomorrow and listen to us!!!!!! Be safe! Please add me to your contacts---I would like to know how it went. And also to see if you are okay!
2007-04-02 13:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by Gerry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough question.
In times like these, my first, gut reaction is to cut him off at the pass and undermine him, if you think he's going to blackmail you. Don't let someone have that power over you- it's a half life worrying about someone else and what they can divulge. Instead, go to your colleagues and privately tell each of them your secret- claim it as your own, so he doesn't have that power, and you let people know on your own terms about your cross-dressing.
Of course, I understand that it's far easier said than done.
I suppose it's always possible that he has a positive thing to say- many straight guys feel that there's an appeal to cross-dressers, drag queens, a pre-operative transsexuals. He might be interested. Or, heck, he could even want to meet with you to confess that he, too, has such desires to dress up. You just never know.
I say listen to what he has to say, and then, if he is hostile, do what I said above- cut him off at the pass. In fact, telling people beforehand is a perfect opportunity- when pressed, you can grudgingly admit that the reason you've decided to tell now is because of his threats of blackmail, which will only earn you huge sympathy and him some really bad mojo.
Anyhow, I don't know if that's helped, but I hope it does a little. Good luck, and I have my fingers crossed that everything goes alright for you at work.
2007-04-02 11:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cyndi you know what you have done dont you ? You have ruined your present life by doing it so close to home, It doesnt matter what you do for him he is in the winning position, he can ask you to have sex, do anything for him and he will always have this thing over your head where he can blackmaail you into anything he likes. There are 3 things you can do and they are:- go to the police and explain to them and say he is blackmailing you, go to your employer and explain and hope they understand or just move away and get another employer away from this guy. You could try to bluff it out but once mud is thrown it sticks. You have made a very serious mistake by doing it so close to home and now you have to live with it. I wish you all the best love and hope you get through it.
2007-04-02 14:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly Hun, would you like to meet him? No one can blackmail you, if you are not ashamed of anything, and it is very unlikely he wants to, but...i would say, to take a friend with you so that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable.
Only do what you want to do.
But you say he seems nice, you know him a bit, plus if he wanted to blackmail you, he is putting himself at risk of you blackmailing him also, so relax a bit and have fun ;)
oh yes and you could always go in mens clothes and take womens clothes in a bag...just incase you were worried about who else may be there ....just an after thought
2007-04-02 11:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by delbolof 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should meet him and have some fun. You shouldn't worry about him trying to blackmail you, he's the one that asked you to meet him and he probably doesn't want that to get around either. You never know, he might want want to dress-up as a woman too.
2007-04-02 11:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's cool,, meet him and see what's up.lol..He could be into crossing and like to do it with someone..It's not the kind of thing a person tell you every day at the water cooler !
Be sure to meet in a safe place, just to be sure. Or tell him it was a bet. That works sometimes.
2007-04-02 11:07:38 · answer #6 · answered by J P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is higher on the food chain than you, then that is a clear-cut case of sexual harassment. Seek advice from a lawyer, or talk to the head of personnel at your office.
2007-04-03 05:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by pceej 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go. You will see him again and at that point, you will get the chance to speak to him and find out what his motivation is. Maybe he wants to get to know you romantically but you can't be certain. You could show up and be totally humiliated if he's setting you up to be ridiculed or harassed. .
2007-04-02 11:21:13 · answer #8 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly! women dressed modestly could additionally look attractive and appropriate. it quite is often the air of poser in such women, that turns you on. The recommendations is the main effectual intercourse organ. A properly coated, yet properly presentable physique, is a gas for the main ecstatic of recommendations!
2016-10-02 01:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hes not trying to blackmail you but wants to date you. If you have no problem with that I would put something sexy on and meet him.
2007-04-02 11:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by dggodinez 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋