This guy has been a good friend to me, but I could tell that he and his wife are not doing so good. Recently I found myself falling for him, with the way he looks at me, I know he's married and is off limits. The other day when I confronted him with my feelings, he kissed me. I didn't know what to do or say, there is this strong connection between us, but we just cannot do anything, What to do?
2007-04-02 09:54:10 · 27 answers · asked by Eliza 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
STOP "Playing with fire, if you don't want to get burned!" You're absolutely playing with fire, and the only outcome is, you're going to get badly burned. He is NOT going to leave his wife! Stop this, before it goes any further!!
2007-04-02 10:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with wrkey. But here are some other things to consider. When you are "falling" for a married guy, here are a few questions to ask yourself: How long has this guy been a good friend to me? (months, years). How did you meet, where you the babysitter, his kids friend? What are his motivations for accepting "my feelings" by kissing me? How many other "good friends" does he have that he could also be "looking at" the same way he does me? (is he a player)? Will people respect me if they find out that I had an affair with a married guy?
Just some other things to think about, but the bottom line is run the other way as fast as you can! Be absent from his life!
2007-04-02 17:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by having too much fun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to walk away. It really is that simple. He is married and you are 'the other woman'. Put yourself in his wife's shoes where you are in a relationship that is obviously having some difficulty and now instead of your husband being focused on solving the issues at home he is being distracted by 'another woman'.
You cannot justify your actions in any way. The best thing you can do is to tell him 'We need to stay away from each other for a while so you can concentrate on what you want out of life. If you decide that you want something different in your life than your current marriage, tell your wife, start the divorce proceedings, then come find me.'
You need to realize that if he is willing to 'be distractted' by another woman instead of focusing on his marriage that this course of action will only be easier the second time around. So he drops her for you.. what happens when it's you he's having trouble with and finds it easier to move on to someone else.
Step back and rethink. I'm pretty sure you'll see the right thing to do.
Good luck!
2007-04-02 17:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by wrkey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN! Chances are he'll never leave his wife anyway. If he does leave her and actually files for divorce and completes the divorce, maybe (big maybe) you can go from there. Don't get involved with a married man.
He has probably been able to sense that you are attracted to him/have feelings for him before you even said anything to him. If he is kissing you while he is still with his wife, that does not show me that he is an honorable man.
Break off all contact with him immediately! You will find 'the one' someday...if you get wrapped up with the married guy, you might miss him!!!
2007-04-02 17:02:59 · answer #4 · answered by higherlovetx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in that very situation. However they guy I was falling for was a co-worker. Things started to get pretty heated between us. He didn't want to leave his wife and I completely understood that so we kept things on a "friends with benefits" basis. He eventually transferred to another store and I fell apart. I was mad at myself for letting me get so attached to him when I knew I couldn't have him. I still keep in touch with him but the close relationship we had is pretty much over because I don't see him too often. I didn't talk to him for months because I was trying to let go and get a grip on myself. It seemed to help because now I can talk to him and not feel so bad about it. It still hurts though, love can be a really tough feeling to deal with. If I were you I would find out what his plans are with his wife. If he's planning on leaving her, wait it out and give him time to come to you after it's all over. If the connection is that strong, he will still want you. If he's not planning on leaving his wife, I would steer clear. Affairs are one big mess, trust me, you'll end up getting hurt in the long run.
2007-04-02 17:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by fmxkrazyone 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave this man alone honey & go find you a single guy. How would you feel if you were the wife at home? If it was meant to be than he should be honest with his wife & get a divorce than he is all yours otherwise "back off" toots!
2007-04-02 17:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by Reckless 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation, but the other way around. I was the one unhappily married. If he's unhappy, and does not want to make his marriage work than he needs to get a divorce. If you start seeing him secretly it will only break your heart in the end. If he feels for you what you feel for him than he should be at least willing to legally separate from his wife to see if he will be happier that way. Your in dangerous territory. I told my x the truth, and he happily gave me a divorce. Who wants to spend their life unhappy? I hope he doesn't.
2007-04-02 17:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will be your Prince Charming! You'll fall deeply in love with him. You'll feel his love his love as well, until you ask him to leave! Then you'll get a rude awakening!
Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?
You will be his 2nd wife getting cheated on!
WAKE UP!!! (slap-slap).
2007-04-02 17:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really hope he doesn't have KIDS, married people usually do have problems, but they can also work them out, if there isn't interference from outsiders. It really depends on if you want to be labeled Home Breaker. and if in the future you both would get together, what makes you think he won't do the same to you?
2007-04-02 17:02:12 · answer #9 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from a married man. He is somebody else's property and you are officially trespassing.
Any harm you experience will be a direct result of your trespassing.
2007-04-02 17:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by DaMan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave the married man along he has got a wife
2007-04-02 16:59:28 · answer #11 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋