I am seeing a rocker, he is the lead singer. We are not in a relationship but have went out a couple of times, and have talked about making it offical. I have noticed when being at his gigs that women as they put it in the old days "undress him with their eyes". This bothers me. And i tell myself "He's taking me home" but how can I get over this notion. He admitted that he gets proposals all the time to go home with girls, but never acts on them. He gets numbers every nite. How can I become ok with this, and not want to punch every girl around me who is all googly eyed? Is it possible? And how can I learn to trust that he won't act on a proposal when I am not around? I am not being obsessive, I just want some ideas on how to handle this tough situation so that it doesn't hurt our relationship. Any suggestions?
2007-04-02 09:29:23 · 5 answers · asked by mellwith2ells 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've been with a musician for about 2 1/2 years now.
Here are the things you're going to have to get used to, or you should date someone else if you can't deal with it.
1. Flirting with groupies
not only is this inevitable... it's important for him to connect and YES flirt with his fans in order to build up loyalty. When you are at shows pretend you're not even with him... you get to give him a hug or something before the show, and before people get there but after that... he's at work and you need to treat it as if he IS at work. End of story. Only about 20% of a band's success has to do with how talented they are... there are lots of talented bands. The other portion is PR and sex appeal. He'll dump you like a hot tamale if you don't get over your jealousy because most band members are wary of chicks getting in with their band mates in the first place and they'll convince him you're more trouble than you're worth.
2. Expect that after you date for a few months you won't be invited to shows unless they are very local shows. Don't take this to heart, it's just better for the guys to appear single than to have some parasitic female latched on to them all night. I'm often invited to shows but that's because I pretend my boyfriend doesn't exist when I'm there... I take photos for the website, network with club owners and other musicians, hold business cards and phone numbers that the guys collect and sometimes work the merch table. Most people would consider that a disrespectful way of carrying on a relationship but that's what you deal with when you date a touring or gigging musician. I pretty much expect that Any show I go to I will be completely ignored from about an hour before he actually leaves to go to the gig till he comes home from the gig (and yes... I take my own vehicle to these gigs because the band has to bond in the van, sans-girlfriends.)
3. Hot chicks are inevitable: There are ALWAYS going to be chicks that are ten times hotter than you are hanging around the clubs and venues and possibly trying to lay your guy. Unless you actually catch him making out or "having relations" with her BACK OFF!! Don't get pissed when he doesn't mention he has a girlfriend. Musicians with girlfriends are not sexy... Musicians who appear to have no girlfriend but for some strange reason never take their groupies home are Hot hot hot! because every chick is going to want to figure out if he's gay or just picky. Let him keep the mystique going.... if you suspect he's cheating on you... as in you find a condom in his van, love bites on his neck, or whatever Dump him fast and don't get bent out of shape about it. It's a common occurrence... I'm fortunate enough that it hasn't happened yet but trust me I'll make such a big scene he'll probably write a song about it if I ever catch him actually with another chick.
4. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Don't lose yourself in his drama... because rock band drama is also inevitable. Make sure you have your OWN friends who are independent from the "scene," and pursue your own interests and dreams. Not only is it good to have a safety net (because lets face it these relationships rarely last more than 6 months but it'll also keep him interested in you. A chick who's only thing she's got going is maybe her job or school and then him and the band is BORING! If you paint... be prolific, if you're a photographer.... take tons of pictures have your own gallery shows, if you love animals study zoology and volunteer at an animal rescue. HAVE YOUR OWN INTERESTS!!!! If you lose yourself in your relationship not only will you feel constantly abandoned but you probably WILL actually be abandoned and have nothing to show for yourself.
2007-04-05 09:23:23 · answer #1 · answered by venus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is the rocker....this sounds crazy but you could hire a spy(like a friend of yours that he doesnt know and then he will think its some fan following him arround...just make sure it is someone he DOESNT know) to make sure he sticks to his promise...just a crazy thought...
2007-04-02 16:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by system error 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope!
2007-04-02 16:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your the jelous type then move on! he will only end up hurting you
2007-04-02 16:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by russgipson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am dating a STONER because most rockers are GAY !!!
2007-04-02 16:37:18 · answer #5 · answered by BeautyBreak H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋