I don't want to go vacation with my husband.?

Question

My husband want to take me and the kids camping for about a week this summer and I don't want to go. I don't want to go anywhere and I don't want to be in a camper for a week with him and four kids ages 2,4,7, and 9. It does not sound fun it sounds like a lot of hard work for me. I'd rather stay home save money and be comfortable. But I can't tell him I don't want to do this because he'll get mad at me and guilt me into going. What should I do?

If I don't go he wont go either. I love camping but I have been very sick this year and I don't feel like going anywhere.

Answer 1

Just tell him how you feel. Maybe he will be the one that does the most on this trip, just talk it out.

Answer 2

My sister had to put her foot down too. Her husband loved to go camping and river rafting because all he did was float down the river and drink beer. She ended up working her fingers to the bone cooking and cleaning and minding the kids - which was driving her crazy since they were so little and it was dangerous to have them near the water. She felt like she had to be awake 24 hours a day and it was no fun for her.

Here is the arrangement they came to: They stopped the camping and river rafting until the kids became much older and knew how to swim and how to be safe. Then they started back up again. Such a compromise is not unreasonable. And there are plenty of other ways to have fun. Tell your husband it will be more fun when the kids are older and you can all share it together.

And stop playing "little girl" and whining "oh, if I tell him he'll get MAD at me!" You are an adult and his partner. He has to respect what you want as well.

P.S. Sorry but I have to say it. Your kids are 2, 4, 7, and 9 -- give it a rest. Please stop getting pregnant. The freeways are full now and there isn't enough clean water, air and housing for everyone as it is. You have enough kids.

Answer 3

you CAN tell him how you feel, and that is the best thing for you, him, and the kids. put yourself in his shoes, and ask how you would feel if you tried to have a wonderful vacation for the family and your wife spent the entire trip b*chy and unhappy. you cannot assume he'll get mad at you before you talk to him, you are not a mind reader, and no one can guilt you into going somewhere.
how about instead, going to him in a positive way, and stating what you do not like about the vacation and trying to find a vacation to please everyone. have something in mind.
maybe there's a place you want to see that would make the work rewarding. maybe you could tolerate camping for a few days, but not a whole week. perhaps you would be ok with 5 days of camping if he agreed to stay at a nice hotel/resort/spa of your choice for the last night or 2. or, maybe you feel like you need to get away from the kids, maybe suggest a short camping trip as a family, and later in the year, a 3 day weekend without the kids for you and your hubby.

Answer 4

I agree with you. Sounds like something the Taliban would do to women.
If you have been with this guy long enough to have 4 kids, you ought to be able to stand up for yourself. If not, you are a major doormat by now, and those kids let you wait of them hand and foot, and your husband tells you you are having a nice life.

If he manages you with intimidation, guilt, and threats or whining, you don't have a marriage-you are a hostage. That is emotional black-mail, not love.
And if you are afraid or uncomfortable telling your husband how you feel, -without crying and shouting-you have big problems.
He might get mad at you. He probably will. So? Will he leave you over it? NO, probably not. Will you leave him if you DECIDE to go along? No, probably not.
Will he be able to guilt you into it? Not if you REALLY dig in, no. If guilt has worked before, he will use it.
Guilt doesn't work with me. I tell the person, I understand he is trying to make me guilty, but -nope-don't feel it. It makes me mad that someone would think I was that dumb.

My suggestion is for him to take the 2 older kids camping and you stay home with the little ones. That way, he gets to play Boy Scout, can keep track of 2 kids, and have age-appropriate fun with them. (Camping, building a fire, fishing, eating dirty fish, and rock climbing, riding horses.)
And YOUR vacation is having 3/5 as much work to do for a week. You could take your little ones to the zoo, or to
a face-painting booth at the fair or play pirate ship in the back yard with them. Or have a "toddlers only" party complete with clown.
Then when you all got back together you would have tons of laundry to catch up on, and months of funny stories to tell each other. It could be a GREAT VACATION if it is entered into in kind and generous spirit.
Or you could go and be PO'ed the whole time-not much fun. Or he could get POed and not go, and be even less fun.
Two is a dangerous age to take anywhere there is not a cage to put them in. It is life-threatening to take them camping-unless it is in a rock star's RV.
Tell your husband this would not be fun for you. Tell him HE can take all the kids and go and you will stay home and count the pills on your sweaters. Or learn to talk "Dog."
READ a whole sentence in a book without having to wipe drool off of someone.
I bet he would think 2 and 4 was too young for HIM to take of and still try to relax!
Good luck girly!

Answer 5

Make a compromise, go camping in the camper for a couple of days and then maybe go get a cabin or even go home and stay in the camper in the driveway. When you talk with him, don't be nasty with him, just be straight forward, honesty is the best policy.

Maybe if you go camping with him then when you get back you can have a nice romantic dinner with just him and send the kids to grandma and grandpas or to a friends house, so you can have some alone time with him and not have to cook or clean.

Also if you go camping then see if your husband would be willing to do the clean up or at least help with it.

Answer 6

Suggest another vacation idea! For example, these days going overseas can be extremely inexpensive. Try an all-inclusive resort in Dominican Republic. Just let him down easy, explain to him that you would love to spend time away with him and the kids but you just aren't up to the whole camping idea. Suggest a beach vacation instead where you can all enjoy yourselves.

Hint: These all inclusive vacations usually have babysitting services at night and day care centers with activities for the daytime!

Answer 7

tell him the TRUTH...you don't want to go BECAUSE it's only work for you and NOT fun....then ADD/SUGGEST: if he wants to take you into consideration, choose a nice hotel with recreation for the kids as well....[like DISNEYLAND/Disneyworld; etc.,].....a Vacation can be fun for all...but it STARTS --especially within a Marriage--by you being Honest and upfront with your spouse. He may not know what it is you want, but you're blaming him without giving him the information he needs to make an agreeable choice or a compromise....that doesn't sound fair. Remember: Communication is the KEY to a successful relationship Good luck!

Answer 8

Be completely honest and open, in a non-confrontational way. Ask him, "Would you really want to go camping knowing I'm not having a good time? Isn't this vacation for me as well? I would rather do something we can all enjoy, not just you and the older children" (cause let's face it, the two year old will NOT have fun).

Good luck!

Answer 9

Hell, dont go!!! If you dont want to go then got damnit do go!! Let him take the kids and they go camping. But who passes up a trip to go camping? Are you just whining? Maybe you should go. Some women whish they could get their husbands to do stuff with she and the kids. Hell, some women wish their husbands would just come home at night. I don't know. Do what you feel. If you don't want to go then don't go.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to seem judgmental... but based only on what you've said, you sound selfish.

Are these YOUR kids (you didn't exactly say)? They need their mom to be a part of their thrilling vacation... and your husband needs his wife by his side. The marriage and family are not just about YOU and YOUR comfort!

Negotiate and compromise a vacation next time that more closely meets YOUR wants and needs. But for now... don't rain on their parade.

OK, I'm off my little soapbox. Best of luck... and try to have a little fun!

Answer 11

Your children are only young once and once that nine year starts wanted only to be with friends the only thing you are going to have are your memories.
All vacation are hard with or without your children. I go on vacation with my husband by ourselves but I get stress out too. Vacations are hard working but the memories are priceless. After the vacation go spoil yourself but go it will be good for the children.
We are going to Disney this summer and I'm not looking forward to it either ( my MIL is going too) but I'm doing it for my children.
I know it must be hard but try for your children sake. Like I said your children are going to grow up soo fast and you don't won't to miss out on their happiness.
Good Luck and Happy Camping (lol sorry)