My wife and I are very liberated when it comes to sex. She wants to try swinging. Have any of you tried it?

Question

We are a late 40's couple with all of the kids out of the house. We want to try new things before we get too old. We both have fantasies and fetishes we wish to explore so we want to give it a try.

So, for those of you with experience, what are we to expect in the beginning? Emotions, jealousy, etc. ?

Answer 1

hey rick! here's the information we have after 11 years married and swinging for 2 and a half years! first this will not fix a bad marriage, will not add spice to a bad sex life and is not for a boring marriage to do to add fun! this life style is for those who are in a solid marriage who talk a lot and share a lot of their feelings! you need to have rules from little to big no matter how silly they seem and honor them! it can be anything from no kissing to no penetration you may want to try first going to a club or on line unlike what you hear the clubs are not just a big orgy a lot have dance and dinner areas and then if the mood strikes a separate area for "play" so if you choose to go and have just a nice night out and maybe watch you can or if you met someone then you have the ability to act on it or not also you might just meet a couple to exchange information with and then meet later for drinks and see how it goes just take it slow and do a lot of talking and it can be very fun and exciting also there is the swinger board which is a great place to ask questions at also and find like minded people! good luck to you guys have fun and be safe!

Answer 2

When you married your wife, you vowed to be with ONLY her, until death. Marriage is a physical and emotional bond between two people, that should not be shared with others. It is a sacred union, and it is not intended to be broken.

If there are things you and your wife are interested in.. then try them with each other. There is no need to go and bring other people into your marriage, just to satisfy some lustful curiosity. You say you both have fantasies and fetishes.. So, spice things up a little.. but don't make the mistake of bringing other people into your relationship.

There is so much that the two of you can do, together. Please, don't do something that you will regret.

If you love your wife, how on earth can you even almost think about being with another woman, or her with another man??

Honor your marriage vows.

Answer 3

There are many thing to take into consideration jealousy being the main factor. I was into this for a long time but I grew tired of it and got out. But It can be really fun and enjoyable but the most important thing is ground rules are a must. Talk to the ones you are going to be with and if all of you agree on the do's and dont's then go for it. e-mail me if you have any other questions about this or simply if you want to talk about it.

Good -luck,have fun and respect others boundaries

Answer 4

I think that it could be dangerous for the relationship. I would not want my husband with another girl, that would kill me as that is a very scared part of the relationship. I guess I am very jealous, maybe a more secure person would not be so jealous. My husband his ex-wife was bi-sexual and he was OK with that, as he felt he could not full fill her need to be with women. It was very unhealthy for him, as she would be satisfied from her lesbian lover and not want to give him any affection, and then as she had other partners other than him, it was very easy for her to cross over and be with other men. I think that could have happened to any couple that introduced other people in their relationship. I think it's much more complicated than what we see in the porn movies, as they are all actors, real life people come with feelings and emotions. I have fantasies, but I keep them private, some things are better kept that way, but to each his own. Good luck.

Answer 5

Some non-monogamy don'ts:

Don't get into swinging or polyamory to help repair a relationship or sex life.

Don't get into swinging or polyamory if you aren't very stable as a couple.

Don't get into swinging or polyamory if you or your partner is the jealous or insecure type.

Don't get into swinging or polyamory if you can't handle what would happen if people find out you do this.

Don't get into swinging or polyamory if you don't have good communication with your partner.

I'm not a swinger, but I've friends who are. I am polyamorous, sort of a cousin to swinging. Poly folk tend to form much more long lasting intimate relationships with multiple people. Poly is more about the romantic than the sex.

Jealousy is an issue to be careful about. It will happen. You have to be able to deal with it. Communicate between the two of you A LOT. Don't take things for granted, spell them out.

Be careful about making unrealistic rules, like about not falling in love with someone. That can happen and it's not something you can easily control. These things happen and don't need to be the end of the world or the relationship (see polyamory).

I would read sites about swinging and about poly (if nothing else than for dealing with the jealousy and communication issues).

I wish you luck.

I wouldn't worry about being too old. My wife and I went to a swingers party in SC. Though it was a bit risque in dress and people were very flirty, nothing overt happened (not necessarily typical in all swinger clubs). One thing though was the ages varied from 20's to 60's.

My wife and I have had an open relationship for over 31 years. We are still going strong.

Email me to talk further.

Answer 6

Fantasies and fetishes huh! LOL. Ok, if you want to try swinging - do it at your own risk. Swinging does not have any positive impact on marriage, except if you both simply want to try other ******* and penises. What challenge is there when you have full knowledge of who's going to screw your wife? What challenge is there when your wife fully knows who you're gonna screw?

Get into a cruise ship. Don't let it be known that you are a couple on a ship. Try to book into a cruise in separate rooms and pretend you are single. Try your best to hide from your wife (and she from you) any relationships you have encountered. Get horny with other ladies while your wife gets horny with other men - but try your best to hide everything.

You may want to book your cruise on two separate vacation packages - this way - you are totally not on the same ship. I don't know if both of you can stand this method. If you do this for real (as opposed to mere swinging) - you'd get real emotions and real results.

Once you get home - you share intimate relationships.

This will work!

Answer 7

Hey Rick
Ive never been a swinger but one of my friends did and it led to all sorts of problems.
I dont think they were as "sexually liberal" as they thought...there was constant jealousy and worry.
Also my friend thought it gave him a license to cheat and his wife almost left him when she found out he was doing the neighbor.
Be careful how you do it and make sure your wife doesnt feel neglected....but if you can do it then i say go for it!!

Answer 8

The few couples that I have known of that engaged in swinging all ended up divorced. Marriage is for two people and two people only. Think back to your wedding vows. Forsaking all others, till death do us part. I would not recommend this at all. I think it will likely end in disaster.

Answer 9

Lord have mercy. If you want your marriage to last a life time (which I assume you do since you have been married so long) DON'T DO THIS! Every single couple who has ever engaged in this behavior has ended in divorce. Just look it up on the internet and do your research.

Answer 10

You are making a HUGE mistake. Do you really want to see your spouse getting it on with someone else? If mine wanted to add a third party, she'd be adding TWO. Not me.