I met this girl in 1984 when I was 16, she being 14. We stayed in touch off and on over the years. In 2000 she contacted me and we started talking daily and within a month we both told each other how we had really felt about the other all these years. We finally realized that our hearts belonged together and we agreed to meet after 15 years. We shared a wonderful 6 month long distance relationship together before she walked away. In 2006, nearly 3 years not talking to her she calls me up and tells me how she made a mistake and that she knows that we belong together and she wants to leave her husband for me because she truly loves me. February she left him and came to stay with me for 3 weeks before he talked her into coming back. 2 weeks ago she left him again for me but went back after he begged her. She says she feels guilty for hurting him but wants to be with me and if she could leave him without him hurting she would be gone so fast. Do I wait for her or what? She is my true love!
2007-04-02 06:37:17 · 20 answers · asked by Stressing Out 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she might be your true love, but you are not her true love or she would be with you.
you should not get involved with a married person regardless
I would move on and tell her to stay with her husband or divorce him....but don't hang out and commit adultry with her...it is wrong
2007-04-02 06:41:54 · answer #1 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and her wanted to do this properly you should have waited until she divorced her husband before starting to even date. Now she's caught between the man she married and you. She clearly has feelings for both of you and it's likely the guilt reason is an excuse.
I would tell her it's time to get a divorce or go and make amends with her husband, and hold strong if she waivers or makes up excuses. What you are doing now isn't fair to anyone involved.
2007-04-04 08:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to hurt. When we are lonely and believe we are in love, we tend to make bad decisions. If she loved you and only you, she would have no problem leaving her husband. Her story about her eagerness to leave her husband if only she could do it without hurting him is ridiculous. Of course it's going to hurt, it's called divorce. But if she truly wanted to leave, she would have already. You can be a fool and wait around for her, maybe you like the drama too, but no one's 'true love' is based on lies, hence the name 'true' love.
Break it off and tell her that when you see the final, signed divorce papers you'll talk again, until then, goodbye.
2007-04-02 06:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by teacupn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really loved you the way she says she does she wouldn't think twice about leaving her husband. You need to move on and find someone who hasn't toyed with you for the better part of your life. This girl is just looking for the excitement of an affair. She'll never make it more than that.
2007-04-02 06:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is what they a wishy washy girl, she wants something, when she gets it, she wants something else. You need to forget her , don't let her know where you are or your phone number, She is using one against the other, your being used until he begs her to come back and get what ever she wants that he wouldn't buy her. She is the type of girl if he says no we can't get that then runs back to you until buys what ever see is asking him to buy. She is a spoiled brat and you will never be able to have her completely, she loves her husband. Your only asking for trouble and heartache, find somebody that wants you, not one that using you for her on gains.
2007-04-02 07:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on and stop talking to her...She is obviously going through stuff in life and you really do not know her by phone calls. People can be who they wish on the phone. She obviously has problems and can't resolve them. UNLESS YOU ARE TO MARRY HER TOMORROW there is not middle ground, She sounds as if she is making excuses and can't leave maybe due to money, weakness, or she loves him and is playing two sides. think what type of husband takes back his wife after weeks of leaving for another man? De ja VU?
2007-04-02 06:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by city girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to move on with your life without her. She sounds very immature. If she does end up divorcing her husband and marry you, she will more than likely do the very same thing to you. You reap what you sow. Be a man and tell her to stay with her husband and work it out.
2007-04-02 08:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think others said it just as well, if she wanted to be with you she would, unconditionally. I went through a similar scenario, where I got the divorce, but she didn't leave her life. It was a very painful, and expensive lesson to learn. Find someone new, unless she's divorced, and saying that beware.
2007-04-02 06:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by thejanitorsez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she doesn't really know what she wants or she wouldn't have such a hard time. If she truly loved you and wanted to spend the rest of her life with you, she would never have gone back to him the first time.
I'm sorry, but it's time to realize she doesn't feel as strongly as you do, and you need to move on.
2007-04-02 06:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man thats a tough one!! ok....in reality shes hurting both of you guys, you for leading you on and letting you go on with your life because she keep waiting on her to come back to you. and him because she keeps leaving him and then going back. pretty much shes not thinking about anyone but herself............ she hasnt made up her mind yet because she knows she has the option of being with either one. she doesnt know where her heart is and if she did she would have already decided. personally iwould never be a rebound to anyone so i would honestly tell you to leave her alone and be on your own. but i dont know how you feel bout all this, so im goin to tell you this just follow your heart only you know what you truly want in life and if its her you want to spend it with. if you think its worth it then wait for her she will come around if she feels the same way but at the same time dont put a block in your life for her. do you and dont let nothing hold ou back,if she comes back then go on with your lives but if she doesnt i guess it just wasnt meant to be. only you know if shes worth it,so only you can decide.hope i helped!!best of luck to you
2007-04-02 07:00:15 · answer #10 · answered by *Gelli* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋