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I have had sex with only one man in my life: my husband. Is it normal to feel as if I am missing out on something? To be honest, if sex is just like what him and I are doing, then I am not too impressed. I can 'take matters into my own hands" a lot better if you know what I mean. I feel like I am missing out on something that can be wonderful. Is that normal?

Also, could I be expecting too much out of sex possibly?

(I am 32, by the way, in case you are wondering. Lost my virginity around the age of 18, been married almost 11 years)

2007-04-02 06:06:27 · 7 answers · asked by Jennifer L 6 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

we have watched porn, played with 'toys' and things like that.

2007-04-02 06:20:02 · update #1

7 answers

I think it is very normal to wonder. And of course it never hurts to wonder.

I guess the issue is what happens if you step over the line. This is something every person would have to decide for themselves.

Knowing about your relationship and that there are other things in your life to consider also, it would be on one hand understandable if you were to step over the line and have an affair - but on the other hand many people might well criticise you for being totally irresponsible.

Other options would include talking it over with your hubby and having some ideas to spice up the sex life: role play/dress ups, going back to the playing with toys and stuff ...

Still more options that might or might not be so palatable might be to discuss the open marriage option. Many people would argue that this is the beginning to the end of the road in your relationship if it came to this. There are a few people who seem to make it work. These people are few and far between.

But yeah -
imagine eating the same unimaginative dinner year in, year out for 11 years. Hmmm

Time to add a little seasoning and spice! Caliente! :-)

2007-04-03 02:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 2 0

I like this question and your answer that I would give you is it is probably normal. But no your'e not missing out. I thought about this a few years ago and it seemed like my parent's marriage and the people in their generation's marriages lasted until death do you part like it is supposed to. They said they were both virgins when they got married and so were my grandparents and it seems like nowdays everybody is trying out everything before they get married and then they have someone to compare that person to. I think you did the right thing. That makes me wonder if I'll ever find the right person for me. There are so many divorces these days. my marriage lasted 5 years and 2 of those years were separated trying to get divorced. I'm 34 btw. There are things you can do to spicen a marriage up like role play for instance. I saw a couple do this in a bar but it might cause jealousy. She was flirting with a friend of mine and was drunk and her man was just sitting there watching. The more it went on, the angrier his face got though. LoL! I was glad there wasn't a fight but I thought that probably he was doing that to get her in the mood b/c he knew he would be the one going home with her. Good Luck!

2007-04-03 02:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by K~E~G 5 · 2 0

Hey there,
firstly I really dont think you are missing out on anything. Trust me, sex is only sex and it is no fun if you are not in love. Only then it is really personal or else it is just answering to the carnal desires of the human nature. Secondly, I know that you are intrigued. In that case, I would suggest you go out to a male strip bar or something like that. But seriously I dont want to see any other man naked apart from my guy. Sex is not that important but i think you have given up on many things already probably cause you have been married for 11 years. Do something fun like renew your vows or something like that. That way you will feel like a bride again and that can open a new chapter in your life.

Hope this helps.

2007-04-03 03:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lucky 2 · 1 0

We always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. I have had more than one partner and I can truly say sex is just sex. I mean my satisfaction depended on how comfortable I was with that person, that is what made my sex life good. Tell your partner what you want and need. Enjoy the intimacy that you two have. Don't waste time fantasizing about something, try to create it with your mate. I'm having the grass is greener syndrome now, about something ( not sex) we always wonder what the other side looks and feels like( the side we did;t choose) Good luck, and be pround.

2007-04-02 06:17:06 · answer #4 · answered by doubletree 2 · 0 0

Yes you are missing out. So how about you send me an email so we can meet and I'll show you what you have been missing! lol.

Just kidding. I would never go for someone else woman.

Eleven years is a long time to be with someone. If you two have good communication then talk to him about how you want him to please you. Have sex were it's only about you. Have him please you and you tell him exactly what you want and not worry about pleasing him. And then another time it can be about him.

Being completely vulnerable to the will of someone else can be very sexually gratifying.

2007-04-03 05:59:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lonely Bàstard 5 · 1 0

No that isn't abnormal at all. Its funny b/c I know women who r in ur situation. I say that u 2 should get some porn...look at the different things that they do & experiment. When ur married u always need to keep it exciting!! Try new things

2007-04-02 06:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely Cappy Girl 2 · 0 0

yes it is normal.

2007-04-03 02:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by NONAME 3 · 1 0

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