Why bother getting married?

Question

I have not heard of one marriage of anyone under 55 that did not have at least one adulterous partner.

People treat their kids like BMWs. They have one because the neighbors have one.

Families don't spend time as a family. Everyone is so busy running around.

Divorce is too easy.

Why bother?

Answer 1

I understand the sentiment. Having been married, been faithful, committed to my now ex-wife, my kid, etc, and getting dumped for another man because she was bored and thought she made a mistake, losing daily access to our child.

I get the question, why get married if the law lets unfaithful folks out and keep the stuff and be the principle role model for our children?

So I get it, what is the point? I can be committed to marriage and do all the right things and still get the shaft.

Answer 2

Getting married does not insure monogamy, but it is a committment that just living together is not. I agree with you that not all people have children for the right reasons or get married for the right reason, but that does not mean that everyone is that way. You bother to get married because you want and need the committment it offers. You choose to get up each day and make that marriage work, regardless of what the other person does or does not do. You can't base your decision about marriage on what other marriages look like. You get married and then make your marriage what you want it to be. By the way, I am under 55 and have been married for 27 years to the same man and no adultery. Marriage is work.....like any true committment.

Answer 3

All my friends are under 55 and none have had adulterous partners, although we know of some. It depends who you hang with.
You are not in charge of everyone else's life, only your own. If you are with someone and think 'why bother' then chances are you are making a bad choice. If it is your true life love, then you BOTH will find the other the completion of your self in a way you never knew (just like a little kid does not know what it is like to be a teenager). You would both find it impossible not to be married and committed to the other, and find that the most desirable of situations.

If you make a poor choice and find a companion but feel the 'why bother' thing, then that is your sign.. that is the person who you can co-habit with but not be fully matched with....and that is the person who will have affairs or you will have affairs.

Answer 4

Because at the time you decide to do it you have this belief (silly or not) that it will last.
Because of love
Because of comitment
Because of things like taxes and other stuff made easier if you are a married couple.
Because of religion.
There are a lot of reason, each couple has its own.

Yes nowadays a lot of marriages end, but it doesn't mean it isn't worth a try. A couple ends not because they are married, but because they thought that being married means you don't need to make efforts anymore. We all change, everyday and both partner have to keep up with it, be comited, communicated, compromise and take the time they need for each other.

Answer 5

Marriage is a committment, altho many people do not honnor it. Because it takes time to get a divorce, a couple has a chance to give it a little thought before ending the relationship. Also a woman with children has a legal way of getting financial help for her children. One of the important reasons that people don't stay married is that they get married for the wrong reasons.

Answer 6

i asked myself that very question for years! and after 18 years and 2 kids (oldest being 14 at the time) we decided to do it. it is a relationship that must be worked, it doesnt come easy! most people dont care and wont try. they love to be selfish and thats why you see children hurt in divorce. oh yea heres one marraige or relationship that neither partner has had extra relations! both under 40! but why bother? because it is the right thing to do ! because you are in love and you want to be with this person forever!

Answer 7

What a sad attitude for someone to have. If that is your attitude, you should not get married or have children. In my circle, adultery is very rare, so I guess it depends on who you know, and truly, most people actually do everything in the world for their kids, so I don't know who you associate with.

I plan to be married once and once only. I expect to live the rest of my life with my soon to be husband, and I futher expect to be very happy about that fact.

I think too many people go ahead and get married even when they do not have that expectation, and whenever you do something without the expectation of success, you're bound not to achieve it.

Answer 8

That's your perception of marriage.. Noone said marriage was easy.. it is a matter of how hard you work to make it last.. the fact that you think divorce is an option shows that you are not ready to get married so for you, i dun think you should bother yet... one day when you realise that you never wanna be divorced and that is not an option.... then, you are ready.. and you wont be asking the same question that you are asking today...

Answer 9

True.but y wld u wanna live ur life like the others do. Im sure there r the more cultured families around.With lots of love for each other...do look out for them..talk to the couples who hv been together for 50years ... admire the love in between them..n then u'd noe the meaning of marriage. : )

Marriage is a very beautiful thing.Its just tt the society arnd us today has realli tarnishd its image. Sadly..

Answer 10

sounds like you have just been around the wrong people, not all marriages are that way threes may loving happy couples who have not had affairs and love there children. I had my children because I wanted to be a mom not because my neighbors did or didn't have kids all you are doing is stereo typing people