I'm 17 and engaged but scared to tell our families, what should I do?

Question

I just got engaged the other day but we are going to be engaged for about five years cause I want to get through college before I get married. But I'm afraid to tell our parents right now because I don't think they'll understand. I'm afraid they'll say we're to young and won't let us be engaged. I truely love my fiance, what should I do?

Answer 1

Your parents can't prohibit you from being engaged. Engagement is an emotional, not legal, contract between a man and a woman. Anyway, I think they'll handle it OK if when you tell them you're engaged that you're planning a very long engagement. My step-daughter is just living with a guy -- I wish they WOULD get engaged!

Answer 2

I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you're too scared to tell your families, then you are too young to make the decision to get married. I'm glad you're going to finich school, and I sincerely hope you do, but how about a "promise ring" instead of an engagement ring? So much is going to happen to both of you in the next four or five years that you won't even recognize yourselves. I honestly think that at 17 you have no business considering marriage. It's just plain too big of a committment to make at such an early age. Yes, your parents would be upset becuase everyone knows that once engaged girls tend to get pregnant and drop out of school.

The story goes this way: She gets pregnant and drops out of school, takes a job to support him while he finishes school and works herself to death with the baby and working. Then he gets through school and she thinks it's okay because now she can finish and they'll have more kids and live happily ever after in a nice house with a big yard for the kids. But, what really happens is that he gets bored and unhappy and then leaves. She has no college degree and has a baby (or two) and ends up alone or living with her parents.

This scene is a cliche for a reason and your parents will be scared that this will happen to you. Please think hard about what youy're doing and reconsider. It's fine to love somebody, but put what's important FIRST. You will never ever regret getting your education before getting married.

Answer 3

I think you need to think twice about such a long engagement. In my opinion you're either dating or married. So if you're commiting yourself to one person for the next 5 years you mine as well be married. I think you should make sure this is the one you want to be with. I'm not saying date 400 other people, but you don't want to regret not "shopping around". If you are still determined to be engaged and worried about your parents being upset maybe this isn't quite the right time. He should have asked your parents before even asking you in the first place. Call me old fashioned but you still need your families blessing if you plan on being happily married. You need your family more than him, trust me!

Answer 4

First of all you are smart to have a long engagement like this finish college you go girl. secondly I would tell your families explain to them that you arew both going to wait atleast fives years and finish college/university before you do anything.
I think even though you are young and your parents will probably be like WHAT!. Once you ecplain to them that you want to finish school and have a career inplace before marriage they will welcome the idea of the two of you together
and if your relationship can last throughout the college years then you know you have something strong and it will make you feel great knowing that your marrying the guy that stayed
with you throughout all these yrs. and has stayed faithful to you.

You are too young to marry but being engaged well that is your choice.

God Bless and may you stay faithful and true to each other
really finish your schooling and have a good job first. Parents all they want for there kids is a good career and a way for them to take care of themselves prove to your parents that is what both of you want before you tie the knot.

Answer 5

Wow! If only you were able to go forward in time about 10 years to see what a disaster this could turn out to be..........

When you enroll in college, do you realize all the parties you will be attending? All the guys you will be meeting?

You're 17. Yeah, you may love this guy, but holy cow you have the rest of your life too!
He may be your first love, but don't become another statistic by being married and divorced at the age of 24.
People change. Not only because of hormones, but by maturity, life lessons, heart breaks, and so on.

Answer 6

You are far too young to even be thinking of engagements and weddings. If you have such a good relationship then you dont need the title. So rather wait till you have finished college and then think about it. A lot can happen in 5 years. You for one will change a lot. Dont rush it, as you have your whole life ahead of you. Wait.

Answer 7

This might sound harsh but if you are afraid to tell your families that you are engaged then you are too young to be engaged.

I had a steady boyfriend though most of my time in college. Looking back, I wish I didn't. I wish I met more people and dated more. I sometimes feel like I missed out on something by having one steady guy the whole time. Be young! Enjoy your life!!

Answer 8

Well you already know what your parents are thinking so you must have listened to them a little.Take it from someone who thought they had it all figured out.ME. Life ain't easy after you leave home and it doesn't get any easier when things aren't that great between you and your partner.Money will be short,bills will be due and the parents shouldn't jump in and help.I would think about it a long time before making any sudden moves.

Answer 9

LOL
I'm sorry but what's the point of being engaged if you don't plan to marry for 5 years?
Trust me, you're parents DO understand. But they also know from experience what you can't understand.

Answer 10

If you're mature enough to make a life decision such as this....you should be mature enough to handle critique from your family. Are you?

EDIT:
He wants you engaged for college. (think about it)