My boyfriend has been living with me and my kids for 2 years. For that time, he has been giving me $200 a month. My expenses (rent, utilities, food) are about $1000 a month. Should I be asking him for more money? How do I talk to him about this without sounding greedy?
2007-04-02 03:57:39 · 20 answers · asked by Mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How do you ask for this? Well, how about: "We both live here and use the utilities, food, and shelter and I think we need to be contributing equally to those expenses. Let's sit down and write down the expenses together and discuss which ones need to be paid by you and which ones I need to pay. Obviously, we both should be paying equally for our needs, right?" If he balks at that, tell him it will cost him more, if he is alone and paying for it all himself!
2007-04-02 04:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by Alan F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I have had two or more roommates or roommates with children we divided all the house expenses by the number of heads living under the roof. If you have two kids he should be paying 1/4 of the total expenses and then you should collect the bed tax (buy gifts, slip you some fun money or dinner and a show). If you do all his laundry etc that is over and above household expenses. I never did my room mates laundry, make their bed or clean their room. If he is only giving you $200 a month I would be wondering where the mate for his odd sock is stashed. Does he spend time in the backyard with a shovel and empty coffee cans? Have a pencil and paper sit down with him and the expenses.
2007-04-02 04:28:37 · answer #2 · answered by YaWhoDee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may feel there are 3 of you and 1 of him so 25% should be his share. Money is always a subject that brings up hard feelings as we all feel differently about how it should be spent and who should pay for what. He's paying 20%. If you need more help, then let him know what your income is and what the household expenses are and ask him if he would be able to pitch in some more money.
Only you know if you are being greedy or not. Either way, you need to talk to him about it as resentment will grow and fights will occur and it won't even be about the real issue. None of us can read the other person's mind nor do we all think the same.
Good luck. (Why not get married?)
2007-04-02 04:06:26 · answer #3 · answered by Stefka 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Joint responsibilities should be split 50/50 - these are rent, food, utilities. There should be a joint account where in each of you place 50% of the total monthly joint expenses into the account and then the bill is paid out of that account. This wa each person has access to see that joint needs are being met always! Then each person should have their own account with their remaining balance - joint always comes first. Each can decide if they want to buy something from their own account or spend from their account without "permission" but always be honest if you have and never get resentful if the other does. It truley is a trust issue & for your daughters sake - make this man step up to the plate or tell him to go - your first responsibility is to your child and if he truly loved you and knows just how much things are costing, he will without question!
2007-04-02 04:13:33 · answer #4 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He should definitely be paying you more money. He should be paying for half the rent, utilities and whatever his share of the food is. You shouldn't have to ask him to give you more money, he should know to. But since he isn't getting it I would sit him down and explain to him, that it doesn't make sense or seem fair that to have a warm place to live and food to eat is only costing him 200 a month.
2007-04-02 04:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by Tamra 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes I think he should be helping out more I'm one to belive that bills and stuff should be split in half or atleast equal at this time he sounds like he is free loading off of you. Just tell him that he needs to be giving more money to cover the cost of the bills and the food. If he is stand-up kind of guy he should not have a problem with this. Maybe he figures he is giving enough because you have not said anything it's time to tallk to him he can't read your mind!
God Bless and I hope for your sake he ain't a jerk about it.
2007-04-02 04:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 50-50 split wouldn't be right because the kids are yours and (I assume) not his. But $200 a month is not enough. Depending on the age of the kids, he should pay between a quarter and a third of the bills.
2007-04-02 04:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If they are not his kids, then 50/50 is not right. If there are 4 people in the home, then his share of that $1000/month is $250.
So he's not far off. Ask him for $250/month, and you pay for your kids share of the expenses.
2007-04-02 04:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this is a relationship then it needs to be 100/100 not 50/50. Financially perhaps you can sit down with your bills and such divide it by the number of people in the household and see what "his portion" would actually be.
If you are looking at marriage then this should not be a problem. If not then he is just a roommate with sex privileges and not required to support your children.
2007-04-02 04:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to recognize that you have user living with you. A man who is living with a woman supporting 2 kids and he is only paying $200 a month? Get real and kick him out. Your children need more responsibility from you!
2007-04-02 04:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋