My GF wants more space?

Question

We both live together and having been spending all the time together but recently arguing all the time, driving us mad. She wants us to spend less time together and lead our own lifes as well. She's spending more and more time with her friends and not inviting me out anymore.

I understand what she is saying and agree but just finding it hard!!

Been together for 1yr. Is there any hidden message or is that how things get after a year together? We live together with 2 of her friends and im having to go home to my parents to give her space is that right or normal?

Answer 1

To much of a good thing and all. It is important to have space and respect especially in early part of a relationship. You both have lifes outside of each other as well, and although time together is important time apart is also improtant. If you try and live in each others pockets, you will start to get under each others skin. Talk to your partner find out whats what and respect her views as you hope she will respect yours. See where things go from there, but the only way you will solve this is by talking.... honest and open comunication is always the best.

Answer 2

First of all you are not living together as a couple. You are communing with others. After about a year or two relationships are no longer in te honeymoon stage where all is new and good. You end up with the dirt and grit of a true person and have to be honest with each other about your feelings for the "real" person. Now what about you? Are you finding that you have eft behind some of your own expectations for your future? Are there hobbies or interests that you temporarily set aside because you wanted to make room for this new person in your life? If so - take back this time for you - your girl will either come around or she won't, but you will still have the things in your life that you enjoy and make you tick. You don't get happiness from another - it's just nice to have someone to share it with.

Answer 3

I know you don't want to hear this but I assume you want an honest answer.

You live with two of her friends and she is spending more and more time doing things without inviting you. If she cared for you most of all this would not be happening. If she was that into you at least one of her friends would see something wrong in all of this. But no..... she is telling them that she is tired of you.

So you could sit and wait it out and the end will be the same. You will be single. She gets the security of having a boyfriend with no accountability or having to respect your relationship. Its a having cake and eating it too kind of thing.

Pack your stuff and leave! First of all this will make her look stupid negating what she has been saying to friends. You are a strong confident man who does not need this kind of thing. Yes she will cry to you and try to get you back after this but don't do it. Go out and find someone that truly cares for you.

Answer 4

It is not healthy in any relationship to spend all of your free time together. I would not leave my home to give her more space though, you live there to. Ask her to define what she means by "lead our own lives" if she means date other people, then its over. If she means just have other friends and not spend 24/7 with each other, then your relationship can benefit from that. Good luck

Answer 5

Is it normal? Yes. Whether you've been together for weeks or years, too much of a good thing... etc
I can imagine it is hard, but you both need time to miss each other. This is the success recipe for all friendships and partners, they need to be there when needed not just ALWAYS there.
If there are any other deeper reasons for her wanting space... that's up to you to find out. Just ask her and if you trust what she says then respect her wishes. For the better.

Answer 6

Give her the space she needs.....whether this is the end or not, crowding her will only speed up the result or guarantee it. Perhaps she really does need to blow off some steam with friends because of the arguing. Keep the communication lines open without smothering her......but don't let it go on so long as to make yourself a doormat. A couple of weeks and then have a heart to heart talk with her about where the relationship is going. Much luck :)

Answer 7

When you spend ALL your time with your lover, it does get old pretty quick.
Why not get a place of your own? Even if it means having a couple of room mates?
That way, you and your girl can make "dates" again and you two can figure out if living together is what you really want to do.

Answer 8

I dont think it sounds normal, she should be able to have space with still living with you. It just means that you dont always have to be in the same room, or doing the same thing. Maybe she wants to play a game or read a magazine and you could be sitting on the computer in a different room.

Or going out occassionally with out you is healthy to.

But if its all the time without you and you have to go home to your parents. I would say feelings have changed in the relationship.

Answer 9

Put it this way dude... just like a pet.You play with them you feed them hoping they'll love you forever but you leave them in the house or a cage 24/7 you really think it's gonna be happy not given the chance to see it's nature?once in a while?
We are man on this earth and we have all rights how we chose to live.Space in relationship is just in other word like taking a breather fresh air nothing harmful. If you really love her you should understand what she going through rite.If you do find it hard however you gotta understand you're just gonna turn out possessive or annoying..

Answer 10

Well, living together so quickly may not have been the best idea. She probably does need her space. Moving in you see a lot of the same person...all the time. You live with her and her friends?! get the heck outta there!