How do I tell him its really over - its not getting through?

Question

I was going out with this guy for a year but he ended up getting hooked on drugs and doing so many stupid things because of it lying and stealing being the main two. Anyways I was dumb and had stuck by him hoping to help him and well that didnt work and my feelings more than changed. I during the past year left him many times and got back together with him after he begged me and saying he would change. Now its really over and I to be honest cant stomach to even look at him with all he put me through. Im completely inlove with someone else now and never want to be with him again but its not sinking into him

hes just not getting it - and wont move out and on with his life

Answer 1

Been there and done that with an ex of mine. We were living together at the time also. Sorry to say, but the only way he'd leave my house was for me to call the police (from work) and ask them to meet me. They escorted him out the door. It was the only thing I could do because he wouldn't have gone anywhere unless in a body bag, courtesy of me and he wasn't worth jail time.

Sometimes, you just have to go the extra mile and ask for help. Or get a few huge, burly male friends of yours to escort him out the door. That'd get his attention also.

Answer 2

Wait, he is staying with you still? You live together? Wow, see, you cant just tell someone, I'm over you- Get out! Does he even have a place to go? Be very careful right now, because if you are sharing a place and he is on the lease, then you can not kick him out, and if you leave, he can take you to court for rent. This isn't as easy as restraining orders or calling the police. Depening on your living arrangements, you may have to get him to leave and agree to not sue you, or you'll have to leave and find someone to take over the rent. If he's not paying rent, then you should definitely be encouraging him to leave. Demand rent from him if he's not paying. Tell him the rent is such and such amount, and if you want to stay, then I'm going to look for a new place to live.
Be firm with him and treat this as all business. Make sure you go out on plenty of dates with your new beau and have little to do as possible with your ex except maybe in demanding rent until you have the living arrangements sorted out. If he is not on the lease, then kick him out now. Tell him he has 1 week to get out or he'll find his things at someone else's doorstep (like his mom's house) and the locks will be changed. Also tell him that if you find drugs in the house in the meantime, you will call the police and have him arrested and removed from your home.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Unless you own the house/apartment, then you move out. If you own it, you will have to take drastic measure and have him removed. You can start with telling him with a witness, possibly a hidden tape recorder that he has had x amount of time to leave and you are only giving him x more time. Then if he doesn't pack all of his things and take them to his mother, etc, somewhere where he can obtain them without fighting to get them or having them ruined. CHANGE THE LOCKS. I'm sure he will get the picture after this, even if you are the one that moves, he will get the picture, but then after either of these, you must take every step possibly to stay away from him and not talk with him. Not even to explain further, lets face it you have done enough of that.

Answer 4

Honestly when it comes down to it, when you really truly don't want him there anymore and he just won't take no for an answer, you may have to call the police- tell them your situation and all they'll do is have him pack his stuff, tell him he's not allowed back and he'll be on his merry way. It sounds a bit harsh but it is your option whether to issue a restraining order or not. My advice would be to write your ex a letter prior to his removal from the home. Tell him that you cant stand to see who hes turned in to, you didnt want to have to do it this way but things have changed dramatically and you cant live your life like that anymore. Tell him that you still care what happens to him, wish him the best of luck but tell him that you dont wish to see him anymore, in black and white: "It's over." Slip it in one of his bags or hand it to him on the way out. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

First of all you have to stick to what you say. So many times you have told him it is over and took him back. He is problay thinking you are going to do the same thing again. You have to be blunt and mean it and let him know that there is no going back. He will eventually fingure out that your are serious and if worse comes to worse and he just will not leave you alone then take out a restraing order.. Good luck to you

Answer 6

Next time he goes out pack his things put them out front of your place and have the locks rekeyed. Leave him a note telling him that this was the only way you could think of to let him know that it is over once a for all!

TELL HIM YOU CANNOT PUT UP WITH HIS CRAP ANYMORE AND YOU HAVE A REAL MAN YOU LOVE NOW.

God Bless and be ready to call the cops if he may consider going berserk?

Answer 7

Sound's like you are the one not getting it..If he won't leave then why don't you move I thought you said that you are involved with someone else so why are you still living with your ex....You need to take control of your own life and change the situation plain & simple..

Answer 8

I assume that you never initiate contact with him and you don't prolong contact when he initiates it. All you can do is hang up when he calls and refuse to answer the door if he knocks. Sooner or later, he'll get it.

My ex still tried to pester me, too, even after I married someone else. It stopped when he called one night and I told him I was sorry but my husband had to get up early the next morning and so we weren't interested in talking to him. He never called again.

Answer 9

It really sounds like it's time for an ex-parte order against him.

It's an order form the court telling him he can't call,come by, be within 100 yrds etc.

Hope this helps

Answer 10

either hooked on drugs OR lying to you is a good reason to leave him

if its both of those things, then you are stupid to stay

hmmmmm, i guess be with the someone else instead then