I am six weeks pregnant and would never dream of touching/ ingesting anything that would ever hurt my unborn baby. However my friend occasionally uses cocaine and she is trying to concieve!! I have tried everything to talk her out of this but she says she will stop when she gets pregnant. to me this is appauling any suggestions on what to do. My frieind is young we are both only 22 but she is not mature at all I feel like I am dealing with a teenager!! She definatly should not be having children right now HELP!!
2007-04-02 03:18:26 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
First of all I am not Mr. White. I have done my partying, but when it comes to you and your baby they are #1.
Problem is that 22 years old don't always understand the commitment it takes. Sound like you do and she doesn't.
It's weird if this is a guy friend doing something this stupid I would pull off the gloves and say "What the $%@! are you doing give your $%@! head a shake you #$@! idoit". Women seem to have to sugar coat things. Sometimes friends need to spell things out in BLACK and WHITE.
I once had a "friend" come over to my house high on coke and my wife was pregenant at the time and that was exactly what I did. That was the last time that person was ever in my home.
Look the reality is that you are having a kid and your life is going to change. The party life is going to soften quite a bit. Do you really want her as a friend if these are the types of judgements she is making?
2007-04-02 06:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are some people who never realize that they are pregnant because they have been using cocaine. The baby is so small that it never shows. It could take weeks (or longer if she is using) for her to know that she is pregnant. Until she finds out, she is giving her baby cocaine. Obviously, your friend has issues. She is clearly not ready to have a baby if she feels that it is ok to use drugs while she is trying to concieve. You can't do anything to convince her otherwise, but you shoud get her professional help to deal with her drug use, even if it is just occasional. She still would be doing damage to her baby. The first few weeks are important in development.
2007-04-02 16:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Catherine♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, cocaine is not something you can just stop... obviously, she cant stop not so what makes you think that she will when she gets pregnant. She can do coke all she wants to but she should not try to get pregnant. That is incredibly irresponsible! that baby, is not asking to come into the world.... and have a coke addict as a mom? if you are a good friend, you will tell her husband boyfriend or whatever.... maybe he will have better sense and if you cant or he wont listen call the cops... give her a lesson, talk to her family... if you really want to help her, do that ... cause if she gets pregnant and she keeps using, not only she will harm the baby but eventually dss will take that baby from her... she sucks anyway
2007-04-02 03:25:28 · answer #3 · answered by gabicha_mc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your friend has the mentality of "I'll stop when I get pregnant" then she is not mentally or emotionally ready for children anyways. Hopefully she is not physically ready either. I can only assume that her mentality would also make her think that it would be okay for her to go back to using once the babies are born. And what makes her think that she can just up and decide to quit one day when she finds out. It is hard to do she'll need support and maybe detox or rehab. She needs to figure out how to take care of herself before she can be responsible for another life. I suggest you do research and show her what can happen to babies when the mother uses cocaine. Even if she says she will stop when she gets pregnant remind her that most people are at least 1month along when they find out and the damage could already be done by that time. She is not ready to be pregnant and needs to do some very serious growing up before she plans on becoming pregnant.
2007-04-02 03:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by shopgirl4502 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for trying to talk some sense into your friend, but in the end there is really nothing you can do to actually stop her from it. As another person mentioned, you might remind her that she won't know she's pregnant for at least 2 weeks and in that time she could expose her baby to cocaine in the earliest and most critical stages. Try looking up pregnancy on the web and showing her exactly what parts of the baby are developing during that critical time; brain, heart, etc. Even though she might not know she's pregnant, if she's still doing cocaine she would be exposing the developing baby to it during this time. One of our adopted sons was exposed to cocaine during his mother's pregnancy and while we are lucky he has no major problems it still affected him. He was born with a low birth weight (5 pounds) and has been behind in motor skill development.
2007-04-02 03:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, tell your friend this. They will do a drug test, if she has coke in her system or if the baby comes out with any coke addiction, they WILL TAKE THE BABY AWAY!!!! Working at a hospital, I saw this a lot with young moms. It's a hard struggle to get the infant back as well. So she needs to make a decision before she gets pregnant. Does she realize how sick a coke baby can be???
2007-04-02 03:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She will make her own bed and lye in it also. You are a good friend for trying to smarten her up. You are doing what you can, but you can't make her do anything. No she should not be trying to get pregnant. Maybe get some panphlets from the clinic on cocaine and pregnancy. If that won't open her eyes, then nothing will. You have done your best..
2007-04-02 03:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be a b*tch towards her until she gets it through her head. And tell her that if she can't stop while 'trying' to concieve...then what makes it that she will stop when she is pregnant. Inform her...she could be pregnant...it does take a few of weeks of being preggy before most figure out that they actually are, and she could be hurting a baby without even knowing it!
2007-04-02 03:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lisha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a friend of hers I'm glad you are supportive and show how mcuh you love her. On the other hand she doesn't seem to be listening sooooo it's hard to get pregnant if you have drugs in your system. You might want to go to www.amazon.com and buy her in the womb make it a date to watch this with her. It is very intresting to see how baby changes and what happens this might make her stop with the drugs on concieving and being pregnant. :) Also look up crack babies for her and show her that if she isn't willing to give her habbits up she doesn't need children they are hugeeeeee to take care on a budget and even more on a pyschical note. :) Good luck and I'm so glad you are being supportive to your friend.
2007-04-02 03:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by Toni V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a similar problem with my friend. She isnt using cocaine but takes speed and E. I have been struggling to conceive and i get so annoyed with her for being so stupid. Nothing i can say will stop her doing it, i think its prob the same with your friend and you will have to grin and bear it. I work on a Neonatal Unit and even the horror stories i tell her (and exaggerate) wont make her give up. People wont give things up unless they want to, concentrate on your own life and let her make her own mistakes x
2007-04-02 03:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by British*Bird 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋