Why do we us women always fall for the wrong guy?

Question

Why oh why?

Answer 1

First of all, not all women fall for the wrong guy. Some do, but that's not a "woman" problem, that's a "personal decision-making" problem.

Take a look at your situation. If you've fallen for the wrong type of guy several times don't blame it on them. You're the only common element in all of those situations. You need to take an honest look at the type of person you are attracted to and ask yourself why you like that type of man.

For example, if you like the "bad boy" type with tattoos and plays in a band, then don't be surprised if he doesn't have a steady job or a high regard for conventional things like the law, your parents, etc.

If you like the hunky, ripped-muscles type, then you have to expect that he looks that way on purpose...to attract women. Sure he attracts you, but he also attracts a lot of other women and maybe he's not the type to limit himself to just one.

Most women I know that fall for the wrong type of man do so because they have made up their mind they like the guy (like, as soon as they lay their eyes on him) before they have enough information (like, hearing him speak) to make a clear-headed decision.

No one can be expected to live with their head all the time and disregard the input your heart is giving, especially when it comes to emotional things like relationships, but logic does deserve a say in the matter. I know it's hard to do, but you have to be completely honest with yourself and evaluate your relationships in the early stages before your get too emotionally involved. Ask your friends too. They can help a lot and definitely see things you can't.

Good luck!

Answer 2

It simply isn't true that all women always fall for the wrong guy.

If this is what you do, then I suggest you take a break from men for a while. Don't go looking for a relationship.

Get your head together first, and learn that you don't NEED a guy to have a good life.

When you've gotten over the neediness, and have a decent life, then you'll be better able to make good choices.

Look at who you've been attracted to in the past, and how the things that attracted you are wrong for you.

If you keep unreflectively go from bad relationship to bad relationship, you'll never get out of that trap.

Answer 3

"They" say that we (man & women) seek a relationship with someone who can heal our past wounds.

Since we're playing with fire in seeking a cure ... well often ppl will become sadistic rather than holistic. Pain becomes the norm and suffocates the individual. However, human nature often does provide the surprise of when a human being will follow through with the compassion, so even out of the worst possible relationship, a person may still find the redemptive qualities that will cure them.

It is most visible in those childreen who were sexually abused (men & women). They seek a person similar to their first sexual experience which hurts them. They are hoping to re-create the first experience and re-write it with a good ending. It may sound impossible, but many do find a re-write while others finally get the clue that the pain must stop.

However, we all have small things we're unsatisfied with. So, the relationship we seek doesn't necessarily have to be as tramatic as childhood molestation ... it could be a simple as you felt your parents favor one child over the rest of you.

When you start caring more about another than yourself (selfless love) then you'll find you're curing the one who was attracted to you. Then you can teach them how to find self worth inside of themselves rather than in others.

Answer 4

I think the question is why do alot of women STAY with the wrong guy. Falling for one is easy, but staying with one makes no sense, its hardly logical to hold out and wait for that person to change their ways. Its time for women to employ the 3 strikes rule when dealing with these types of men.

Answer 5

You have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince!
I had some pretty good relationships and some really crappy ones. But it wasn't until I was much older that I met and married the man for me. Both older models and a little worn but perfect for each other.
I think that over time we try on different styles whether it be clothing, hair or attitudes. When we finally realize who we really are we can then attract the "right" one.
Good luck.

Answer 6

We have a preconcieved notion of the kind of guy we are looking for. Typically, we say we want sweet and sensitive, etc. But its usually the rebel-type we end up attracted to. These guys are mysterious and a challenge. Thier 'have no care' attitude make us wanna be there for them, change them. The 'sweet and sensitive' offer no challenge and can get boring. It can even be percieved as weakness.
It can take good sense and maturity to realize that these trouble makers are no good and to stay away from them.

Answer 7

Because you project what you want them to be, not what they are. Just because you want them to be the best at everything, or think they are, doesn't mean its the truth. Consider the whole bad boy thing, some guys fake it to varying degrees of success, but there are literally bad people out there who will hurt you.

I honestly think that some women can't tell the difference, or just don't want to see it.

Answer 8

Don't worry, the same thing seems to happen to males. You aren't alone.

As for why, the answer is probably because one doesn't consider the long term, the true character, beliefs, or behaviors of the individual they believe they love.

Human behavior appears very complex, but I'm sure it all boils down to a few specifics.

Answer 9

Dear Acute21, this is not happening all the time! Believe me!
We don´t always fall for the wrong guy! You´ll see!
Regards
Argentina

Answer 10

Evolutionary-cultural influences to be attracted to a bad boy & goofed up relationships with parents. More psychoanalytical: Low Self-Esteem!!