yesterday my hubby got mad cause i didnt balance the check book and he took off for about 3 hours and went fishing, i know petty right. well when he came back he acted like nothing had ever ahppened. here i was very angry, when i tried to call him, he wouldnt even answer his phone, but he comes home like nothing ever happened. well, then after awhile his anger kicked back in, and he was calling me all kind of names, and telling me how dumb i am etc. etc. well, i just lt it go in one ear and right out the other and didnt let him bother me. well, then all of the sudden he was happy again, and wanting to shower with me and do are thing, u know what i am talking about. i dont get it, why is he acting this way? any advice or opinins would be nice on why u think he is acting this way.
2007-04-02 02:40:17 · 14 answers · asked by greengrass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wanted to go fishing, so he blasted you about the checkbook to get out of the house. Then he came home and blasted you again, because you were probably still upset about him leaving and staying gone for 3 hours. And then, as if that wasn't enough, he had the nerve to play it all off to get you in the shower for sex. This guy is full of crap and you need to stop him from playing these games with you.
Tell him to stop calling you names, as well. If anyone is dumb, it's him. He doesn't even have the courage to say he's going fishing without starting an argument. No doubt, he's been driving you crazy with this kind of crap for a long time. You just haven't been aware of his games. Understand that your husband has control issues, which means that he feels insecure inside. He therefore uses his anger to bully you into complying to his wishes. He keeps you upset, keeps you on guilt trips and makes your life miserable, to control you. Don't allow him to keep doing this to you. Open your mouth and tell him you're tired of the name-calling and tired of the petty BS. If you stand up to him in the right way, he'll stop acting like a clown!
2007-04-02 04:15:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he always this way? If so it could be a health issue. In which case you should get him to see a doctor.
If this is not like him, maybe he is under a lot of stress and taking it out on you. After he came back and you were still angry, did you push it until you had another fight? Sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back and calm down. Some people after they've had time to cool off just want to let it go and others feel they need to finish the discussion until they feel it's resolved.
2007-04-02 09:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will always be arguments in a marriage. It how you handle them that makes or breaks a marraige.
Name calling is unacceptable. It shows a lack of respect- and in my opinion, sustainable relationships require 2 things, respect and trust.
As far as him taking off for a few hours, that would be understandable had he told you "I need to blow off steam, I'll be back in a few hours". I understand men deal with things differently than women do. But if you did not know where he went, and for how long, you may worry-again, a lack of respect. Top that will attempted phone calls from you that were ignored, disrespect again.
You need to have a heart to heart about how to deal with arguments in the future. If necessary, get counseling. If he gets this upset over a check book, what happens if you total the car?
Good Luck
2007-04-02 10:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by yarmiah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is verbally and mentally abusing you. If he gets that mad over an unbalanced check book, it may only be a matter of time before he hits you. I would ask him to seek counseling with you. If he refuses, I would leave him. He sounds like a jerk. Don't you think you deserve better than that? When and if you have children, do you want them to think that behavior is acceptable?
2007-04-02 09:45:54 · answer #4 · answered by Julie F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no clue, but if you get a good answer would you let me know? Mine does the same things drives me NUTS. Oh yeah and what woman feels like doing that when he makes her feel like crap all day. Men are weird.
2007-04-02 11:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should approach him and tell him you make mistakes but you still need to be respected. you don;t need anybody calling you names. As for disappearing that could be a good way of blowing off steam for him but when he comes back make sure you guys that always
2007-04-02 09:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by mclm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be he is depressed. I don't know how old he is , but maybe it is a mid-life crisis. That is rough!
Talk to him about this when things are calm and you are both in a good mood. You will learn if you listen.
2007-04-02 12:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by pitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is bi-polar...I don't understand why you allow him to yell at you and call you names that is not love..Sound's like the two of you really need to sit down and talk to eachother and if he need's help then see to it that he get's it..
2007-04-02 09:48:35 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its just a thing he is going through BUT seeking professional help never hurt anyone, he could be having troubles and not even know it
2007-04-02 09:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you have said ..I would say it sounds like he has a chemical imbalance
2007-04-02 10:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by jbe2176 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋