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My wife and I have been separated for sometime. I have been seeing someone else now. But about a month ago she said we need to take a step back so i can deal with the marriage issues. We have only talked a handful of times and been intimate once in the last month(about 2 weeks ago) She rarely responds to my emails. and only talks on the phone briefly. Can a woman really be like this just to see if I will go through with the divorce? Is she just trying not to influence my decision? I know that I am going through with the divorce, but i know its a long tough road.

2007-04-02 02:27:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I have told her that I am in love with her after she had told me the same.. but i think she is scared by it. I think she is protecting herself... she was hurt for a long time before i met her...from her previous divorce...

2007-04-02 02:31:56 · update #1

CNT .....No i did not mean I slept with my wife... We have not been together for months....

2007-04-02 02:32:56 · update #2

11 answers

Perhaps she thinks she is being played--that you really have no intention of getting divorced. That would make a lot of women pull back.

2007-04-02 02:29:57 · answer #1 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 3 0

Have you asked her directly? It could be many reasons.

Maybe she thinks you are still in love with your wife?

Maybe she thinks you are holding out hope that your wife will ask you back?

Maybe she isn't ready to get involved with someone going through a divorce?

Maybe she isn't sure of your feelings for her?

Maybe she isn't sure of her feelings for you?

Maybe she doesn't want to rush into a relationship because she has been hurt and you are going through a divorce?

Maybe she wanted to give you space to be sure you were doing what you wanted and didn't feel like she was pressuring you?

She is the only one who can tell you her reasons. Send her an email asking her exactly what is going on. It may be easier for her to tell you in an email. Good luck.

2007-04-02 10:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by QT 5 · 0 0

You make some good points with your inferences. She just *may* be that nice a person who is trying to give you the space that you need to deal with your marriage as needed. Take things slow with this new lady until you have everything completely settled with your wife. Otherwise, you may end up hurting more than just this woman if things end up working themselves out with your wife. Emotions tend to stir up quickly -- especially when you're already hurt and a third party is available to act as an emotional sounding bord or whatnot. If you and your wife mend ways and it turns out that you've fallen for this new woman, then it'll be another emotional roller coaster. See if you can keep things on a talking level (with both women) until you get things completely settled.

2007-04-02 09:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by Smurfette 5 · 0 0

She's probably worried that you won't go through with the divorce. She may feel like not getting closer will help her. When you're the other women it's not easy to sit back and watch what will happen next. Try to explain to her your exact feelings about her. Get her to see that you truly love and need her in your life. Things will get better. Good Luck!!!

2007-04-02 09:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

it sounds like the connection just isn't there or she wants to make sure that the divorce is really going to happen. lots of guys say they're getting divorced only to put it off forever and leave the new girl hanging. get the divorce and try again. not many women wish to be "the other woman".

2007-04-02 09:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2 0

Ya know I might do the same under the circumstance. You are not completely free until the legal issues have been resolved. Regardless of her position I suggest you move on - this means letting go. Do not be to hard on your new gal. We all need to be a little smarter in these things, she is protecting herself.

2007-04-02 10:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0 0

You say u r getting this divorce... You sleep w/ other woman then tell your wife u love her..... U r so wierd .. u don't know what marriage even means!

2007-04-02 09:41:23 · answer #7 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0 0

she doesn't trust you. If she did she would be there for you through that tought ime. a divorce can take up to a year or so to be finalized. so it seems that she doesn't want to do anything becuase of fear that you will change your mind. Tell her how you feel and if she continues I would look for someone else that will stand by you through this tough time.

2007-04-02 09:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Lori B 2 · 0 1

Your new lady friend isn't being cold. She's probably just giving you space to deal with your marriage so you can get on with your own relationship. If it bothers you, talk to the girl. Let her know whats going on.

2007-04-02 09:35:09 · answer #9 · answered by trikelkelley 2 · 1 0

She is protecting herself. You cant blame her for that, she doesnt want to get her heart broken, on the off chance that you might return to wife. Just ride it out, and make sure you talk to her. Communication is key to any relationship.

2007-04-02 09:30:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

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