I have and it's getting me down.What's the best way to deal with a horrible family that scares off almost every girlfriend I've ever had,all my friends have always been baffled by my family's snobbishness,drunkenness,and stupidity.
2007-04-02 01:03:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
get away from them move to another place and have a happy life just do it familly are not worth the effort trust me i know
2007-04-02 01:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by samman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'd start by not taking your girlfriend home to meet them! And I don't know how old you are, but if you're over 18, you do have the choice of whether you want to be around them, you know. I know they're family, but if they're really that bad, you can cut down on how much you see them. If the thought of doing that makes you feel bad, maybe they're not that bad after all. Also, try telling them that you feel bad about their behaviour in front of your friends, and maybe they'll tone it down for you. Maybe not, as I found out with my family, but there's a chance they may do that cos they love you.
If you can't get away, just realise that one day you will, and then you'll probably miss them! It's a bit of a catch-22 situation!
Good luck!
2007-04-02 01:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by CheeseFest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family can be loud, drunk, and rude; other times, they cry, pray for my soul, and smother me with guilt. I was very close to them and saw them every holiday since they guilt-tripped me if I didn't visit until I was in my mid-twenties (they have rarely visited me during my lifetime and I'm 48). I realized I was absolutely miserable after seeing them, and it took longer to recover from each "holiday". My husband dreaded being around them. I finally started limiting the amount of time I spent around them, and when they guilt-tripped me, I said I had to spend equal time with my partner's family, or since I knew they wouldn't, I said they could visit me!
After my divorce, I didn't take my next partner to meet my family for over a decade-and I made sure my partner had already heard all about them; and I made sure I stayed somewhere else, other than with my family. My family lived far away, so I just said I didn't have vacation time or money. If my family had ever asked me why I didn't want to see them, I would have told them, but of course they didn't ask. If I thought it would have done an ounce of good, I would have told them how painful it was to be around them, but since they couldn't admit my drunken, passed out brother even had a drinking problem, I knew denial was a permanent way of life for them. I know it's hard to stay away from the people that you love, but sometimes for your own sake, it's better to love and be loved from afar.
Good luck!
2007-04-02 16:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by edith clarke 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Distance. My lover's family are very judgemental & have no problem telling you what's wrong with your life. They are very opposed to drinking & his sister said he coughed because he went to bars & breathed smoky air. (He doesn't smoke & neither do I) I finally convinced him to go to a dr & we found out that he had a genetic defect which let some food go into his lungs. It's repaired now, & when I told his sister this, she insisted that she never said that. I'm not an alcoholic, but I'm 51 and no one is going to tell me I can't have a drink. He & I have been together almost 4 years & I refuse to see her anymore. I won't try to stop him. We all have to do what we need to do. He doesn't see them very often.
2007-04-02 01:17:36 · answer #4 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have my sympathy. Must be very hard for you and also quite embarrassing. Could you not meet your girlfriend at her house though i feel your family should not make life so unpleasant that you feel that you cannot bring your friends and girlfriend home. Talk to them, ask them how they would feel if it was the reverse. I really am battling with this one, i probably would tell them to get themselves together and learn to behave like the adults they are.:))
2007-04-02 01:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family are really annoying too they can not agree on anything and it really aggravates me, they gang up on you as well me(27) and my younger sister (25) just want a quiet peaceful life my mum and my older sisters (30 & 36) just want to control and push everyone about even each other. I find the best way to deal with them is to pretend to listen and pretend to agree!!
2007-04-02 01:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You try not to be transparent and try to maintain your privacy and space for yourself.
Tell them not to interfere too much,unwarranted,at the sametime see that your actions do not affect the harmony of your family life.
2007-04-04 23:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by NQS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you need to find yourself... have you found yourself... maybe they just don't know the meaning of being right, correct, gentlemanly and lady-like... They have not found finesse... tactfulness... tenderness... you need to have the qualities your family does not have... then they will see you as someone they do not know... then change might happen, but only incrementally... ;-) you have to start it first... ;-)
2007-04-02 01:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by DEADPOOL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel... just make a commitment to yourself to break the cycle, be different... then remind yourself that it's easy to be like that when you begin to criticize others (like they probably started)... finally, try not to criticize THEM, just quietly try to be a person you like.
2007-04-02 01:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by bb jo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take them somewhere to meet all your friends instead of your looney families house
2007-04-05 18:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by heatherclhn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋