My husband wants a divorce because he can't get past something I've done which hurt him deeply( I didn't cheat). I'm willing to give it to him because I know there's nothing I can do to change his mind but I still love him and have no ideal where to go from here.How do you move on after losing the one person that loved you and took care of you like no one ever has due to your own selfishness?
2007-04-01 23:55:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
go to church, better advice than yahoo!answers.
2007-04-01 23:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by tripppah 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Personally, you really have to be honest with yourself. have you heard the phrase, "talk is cheap"?
You have made no effort whatsoever; based on what your'e telling us; on making this up to him. True, I don't blame him for not even giving you a chance to make it up; because frankly you don't deserve another chance.
I think the best thing you can do at this point is to give him his freedom, or better yet, find him somebody to replace you. Not just anybody, but somebody who will truly appreciate a good man. You owe him that much, for leaving him when he needed you the most. Now the trust has gone completely down a black hole and took the love and respect with it, I think it's time you work on finding him a replacement wife.
I'm sorry, but your story just makes me sick to my stomach. I've had this happen where a girlfriend abandoned me over the phone a year ago. Since then she has begged me back, but I turned her away and said I met somebody else.
YOU really need to speak to him face to face and stop being such a coward.
Furthermore, I think you are the most evil human being that I've ever seen. You don't have a CLUE as to what marriage is about.
Do yourself a favor, find somebody who will treat him right, and walk away gracefully like a lady for once.
2007-04-05 20:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by brashsassy007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Skyler my love, the first step might be to forgive yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. Stay friends as there's nothing worse than an acrimonious separation. When you have done your grieving and understood what happened, you will move on. We all have selfishness Skyler. Forgive yourself, no good getting angry about something time and time again. There could come a time when you'll love again ... only you will know when that is. Take care my friend you have a hard road ahead but it will lead somewhere if you stay positive.
2007-04-02 00:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure he's not willing to try again, then you have to learn from this and take that lesson with you and move forward with your life. We all make bad choices and bad decisions throughout our lives. Unfortunately, once it's done, we can't take it back so we need to apologize to those we've hurt, try to forgive ourselves and try to make wiser decisions from now on.
I, personally would forgive my wife for anything except cheating.I wish he would be willing to go through counseling or at least give you the chance to get some counseling and to try again. If he has his mind made up, then I guess you must go on with your life. You will never make that same mistake again though, now that you have suffered the consequences. Try to forgive yourself and start over again. There will be someone else for you out there,but take the time to just be alone and work on yourself for awhile. I wish you the best.
2007-04-02 01:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pick yourself up, move away from the blame game and step forward. You will never lose all your happy times, but try to create new happy times to concentrate on your future. Your past will forever follow you and hindsight is a wonderful thing that most of us wish we had, but the facts are we have no guarantees in life and maybe he just isn't your shining star, and when you meet your next man, you will know why this marriage didn't work out and be more able to accept your decisions!
2007-04-02 00:00:31 · answer #5 · answered by ballarinababyz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
only time can help u heal. so i am sorry u will have to wait it out.
go out and spend more time with friends or family so that u r not so lonely all the time.
attend a church service or pick up the bible
do not swallow your pain in liquor or drugs
do not call him every 10 minutes just because u miss him
do not rush into a new relationship, so that u have time to get over your husband and your pain is not blinding u.
it takes two to ruin a relationship so don't let him get away with blaming u. (as the lady above me suggested don't play the blame girl)
good luck
2007-04-02 00:02:20 · answer #6 · answered by Miki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give it to him... yet...
you need time to heal... ask for forgiveness... do the things you need to understand why he felt that way... you did not know better then... give him the time to think it over... give him the thing that he needs to become whole again... escaping your relationship will not help that... it will happen again eventually... accept the fault... seek forgiveness... ask what you can do about it... give him time to change or realize you are still there... keep him first in your mind and you always want the best for him... he will let go eventually and you need not end what you have... if you choose to let is go... then I can only say... forgive and forget... him and yourself... with dignity and respect for him and yourself...
how you do that... is up to you... ;-)
2007-04-02 00:27:05 · answer #7 · answered by DEADPOOL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time and friends.. it's the only way!
and forgivness on yourself and him. helps speed it up!
You will always miss what you once had ALWAYS.. but set new goals for your self write them down and start doing todo list like 1 a day and only put 5 things on it make sure what is onyour list is gettingyou to a goal!
once you start putting more focus on your goals and life and after you forgive then letting go will be a thing of the past!
it's not easy! so good luck!
Try Meditation too if you want to relax
2007-04-02 00:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wake up every morning and handle whatever comes each day the best that you can then go to bed each night with a clean conscience and wake up the next morning and do it all again.
But most importantly make sure you have learned from your mistakes.
2007-04-02 00:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by dorie0371 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it'll hurt for a while, but you'll get through it, if he is for sure he wants to do this then im 100 % sure he made 1 of the biggest mistakes of his life, ur probly a great person that anyone would like, time will heal you
2007-04-02 00:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋