Hi I'm 18 and I'm pregnant and i want to know should I have this baby?

Question

When i found out i was pregnant the first thing that came to mind was an abortion but my bf didn't want me to do it so as a little time went by all i do know is cry and cry and cry for everything and i am not happy about having this baby like a expecting mother should be i feel like i hate everything about my b/f like im not even in love with him no more and i feel like the only reason i do want to have this baby is because i dont want it to be my only chance and i dont want to have because i dont want to gain weight, i want to go to college, im not ready, i dont want to feel embarrased and i feel like im too young and i am just not HAPPY with the idea please i need advice what can i do im sick and tired of crying for no reason what can i do to make this better

Answer 1

This is a desicion you have to make for yourself, but the only advice I can give you is go to your first ultrasound (usually done around 8 weeks) an if it doesn't help you to bond with the baby, and make you feel more positive about the situation at least a little, then it may not happen. Also, get your bf to go with you.

Answer 2

Well, first of all, you are being selfish and not wanting the baby for all the wrong reasons. You did have sex, and you did know that pregnancy was a possibility. If you don't want the baby, you can put the baby up for adoption. You shouldn't choose abortion just because you don't want to get fat, or are not ready, or you will lose your chance. Those are selfish choices. You should have thought of thoses first. You have other options.

You have to think of all the options and you have to discuss them with the father as he has a decision in it also. Yes, if you kept the baby, your life will completely change. Don't do the wrong thing just because you are not happy with the thought of having a baby.

You have to come to terms with it. You have to sit down and be the adult and admit to what has happened. There is a life inside you now. You have to sit down with your boyfriend and make a decision together, whatever it is. Don't make your decision for the wrong reasons. Everyone who makes the mistake and gets pregnant gets scared and goes through probably some of the same thoughts you are........ It is not the end of the world. Things happen for a reason. If you are not ready, there are plenty of people who cannot have children who would love to have a baby, if you decided not to keep it. I don't think abortion in your case is the right decision for you. The weight you gain will come off. You are young. Get with a support group for young teen mothers. They will help you through the feelings. Get with a counselor. Please don't make any hasty decisions that you might regret later. There are many who go to college and manage as mothers. If your boyfreind is willing to help, that will be a big plus. Women do make it on their own too. Hugs to you. My prayers are with you. I am sorry I sound so harsh.

Answer 3

okay the crying, it is stress and unstable hormones from being pregnant. At this point does the bf want to take care of the baby? If so let him take full custody of the child. Having an abortion will eat at peoples conscious years form now. I do not think that is the answer. Look for an adoption agency that can help you if the father does not want anything to do with the baby. The weight issue. Eat healthy things during the pregnancy and keep your exercise program so you will not gain too much and then it will be easy to take off after wards. If you do end up keeping the baby college is still possible you just wont get to do the wild dorm party sorority thing is all.

Answer 4

I have been in your position, and all I can say is that the decision is YOURS AND ONLY YOURS. I like your reasoning as far as college, because alot of things are harder when you are young with a child, but it should have nothing to do with gaining weight! It all depends on you, if you are ready to become a mother when you have just now become an adult. Don't beat yourself up...if you do decide to have an abortion, just know that there is NOTHING wrong with it, no matter what the Pro-Lifers will say...it is a WOMAN'S CHOICE, and if you know deep in your heart that you are not ready then do what you must. In the end, you must think of the life your baby will be born into~if you can provide for him/her, the father figure, etc. This will not be your only chance to have a child, but you must be sure that it is the right thing for YOU, not anyone else. I hope this has helped, and I wish you all the luck in the world.
PS: I did have the abortion at 19, and I am glad I didn't listen to everyone else about how wrong it was, because at that point in my life, it was wrong to have a baby I couldn't take care of.

Answer 5

You can get in touch with an adoption agency and make arrangements to have your child adopted. In some cases the adoptive couple will help take care of your medical expenses. There are many people out there who would love a baby but have pregnancy complications and are unable to conceive. You would do yourself an injustice to abort this child. There are studies coming out now reguarding the long term effects on woman who have had an abortion when they were younger. Your body is going through alot right now because you are pregant and your hormone are going to be a little crazy. But you will be alright. Take time and look at what you value in your life. If your feel strongly about wanting to go to college and not be a young mother, than research some local adoption agencies. They can walk you through the process and in the long run you will be doing what is best for you and the baby and helping bring joy the the life of a loving couple whose been waiting for such a precious gift.

Answer 6

The first thing you may want to do is go to the Dr. Tell the OB about your moods, she may reffer you to a counsellor of some kind. Or you can try planned Parenthood, they will help you weigh your options. Your boyfriend shouldn't be the only reason you decided not to have an abortion. It is his baby, but ultimately, it is your body. Gaining weight really shouldn't be an issue in considering having a baby, you can always lose the weight and you have a lot of control over how much you gain by taking care of yourself. You can still go to college with a baby, it's just a little tougher. I have a friend who is 35, she works full time, has 3 kids and goes to school FT and still has time with her kids. You can do it, you just have to learn how to manage it. It comes naturally after you have a baby. The instinct kicks in shortly and you'll realize all this was one small step in the rest of your life.
As far as crying goes, I'm not preggo and I cry for no reason, you're a woman, you're hormones change, ESPECIALLY when you're preggo. When I was pregnant with my son, I cried worried whether I would be a good mom, if I would still be able to hang out with my friends, do all the usual stuff and still ne a good mother, my son is 7 and is great, I am the best mom I can be and he teaches me just as much as I teach him. With my daughter, I cried over publix and 7-up commercials. It's what you do. No worries. Try a friend or family member as well, even talking to a stranger really helps. (sometimes more because they tend to be less judgemental)

Answer 7

I'm 17 and just had my son. When i first found out i was pregnant i had the same question run through my head over and over. Now I'm glad i made the choose to keep my little bundle of joy. Sure parenting is not that easy. However when you hold your own baby for the first time it is the most amazing feeling you will ever have. You will then realize what a gift you have been given. Your hormones are all over the place rate now give yourself a couple of months and things will settle down. I was 120lbs before i got preggie, i was scared that i would get fat and not lose the weight boy was i wrong. Just stay active! I'm back to my original size(actually smaller) I'm still in school i actually graduate at the end of this year so it just proves you can do anything you set your mind to.Good luck with whatever your choice is. Just remember fallow your heart!

Answer 8

This is a very hard question for me to answer because I was in the same boat as you 7 years ago. I had just started my first year of college and was 3 months into the year and I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I was scared, frustrated, confused, and even a little bit angry. We were careful, it was just one of those things. We talked about adoption, we talked about abortion, and we talked about the options we would have if we kept the baby.
I can't tell you what to do, and coming from the same situation, I wouldn't have wanted anyone to tell me what to do. But here is what you should do. (just some suggestions) I would sit down with your boyfriend and your family and talk about what some of your options would be if you kept this baby. You need to think about if you go to college, will you be able to do daycare or do you have family that can help? Is your boyfriend able to help support you and a baby? What would your feeling about adoption be? And how you really feel about the whole thing.
Its hard, pregnancy is emotional, and worse when you are young. I will say that I chose to keep my baby and I didn't go to college. I regret that I didn't go to college, but I do not regret keeping my baby. I now have been married for 7 years and we have 4 beautiful children.
I hope I helped a little and didn't confuse you more. :) Hugs to you! And I hope everything goes okay for all of you.
April

Answer 9

The crying is probably partially because you are pregnant. I was 18 when I was pregnant with my first and it has not been and easy road (8 years ago), but it is very rewarding and well worth the effort. At the same time, if you are thinking about terminating the pregnancy just because you don't want to gain weight than you probably are not ready to be a parent, because a little weight gain should be the least of you're worries right now. If you're b/f is not willing or able to support you through college and you don't have parents willing to help you, maybe you should consider adoption. It sure as hell beats going through the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you hadn't killed you're child.

Answer 10

I am 18 and I have a 1 year old baby girl. I had her when I was still in high schoo so I know what you are going through. Please don't have an abortion. Having my baby girl was the best thing I could have done. I never thought that I was ready to have a baby but near the end of my pregnancy I started to feel more like an adult and feel like I had matured a lot because I knew that I couldn't be a child having a child and that I needed to grow up. I hope this helped! Good luck!

Answer 11

First of all, it is Not the end of the world or Your world. I went thru the same thing about 30 years ago. I had the exact same feelings! I made a bad decision which has haunted me every day for those 30 years and probably until I take my last breath. I aborted my baby/babies. I don't know if it was God, Karma or a bad procedure by an unprofessional doctor, but I could not conceive when I wanted a family. I tried everything, went thru a long and expensive fertility program and every painful test, operation and procedure came up negative. A few months after the last test, my husband asked for a divorce.

Please give your situation serious thought. If I had another chance, I would be so grateful for the little life inside me. It is not a bad thing anymore to be a single mom. There are so many organizations that extend assistance to one parent families. Plus you have family to support you I hope and pray. Please talk to your parents, or a trusted friend or relative. Talk to your pastor or a counselor. There is assistance for you, there is support for you, please calm down, sit and talk it out. Try making a list of different scenarios. Crying doesn't help, it only gives you a headache, I know sweetie.

Build a network of support from friends, relatives, church, school, etc. Then go online and start creating a list of assistance organizations. You might want to start with Catholic ministries. It's going to be ok sweetie, don't stress yourself so much. Take it day by day, keep a journal too, that will help you organize your thoughts and proactive activities.

Try praying to Our Holy Mother of God, Mary. She will help you sweetie. I will pray for you and God Bless You and Yours!