I am having trouble letting go of a 24 year marriage and my former home. Just found out 23 year old has moved in and replaced me. The ex is 49 years old and has his 3 sons living with him. Why am I so angry? How do I get over this?
2007-04-01 16:41:59 · 16 answers · asked by Liz G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
probably b/c you did all the hard work and now some bimbo is moving in and gets all the benifits that you worked so hard to obtain...like the house, the kids, the cars, the security, the husband whom you loved for 24years through all the good times and the bad....it makes me sick when men are like "hey buh-bye! i've got my new **** of a girlfriend to come and play house with me" answer to your questions though it's tough....you might need some counciling to deal with it....it just sounds like you got the rotten end of the stick and feel cheated....i know i would. good luck and i know things will eventually with time you'll get the closure you want and deserve. stay strong.
2007-04-01 16:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by Gillespie's Helo Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was a 24 year marriage after all and you invested a lot of time energy and emotion into it. I'm sure you believed when you got married that it would be an unbreakable committment.
I don't know what went wrong (though it's unusual for the man to get custody of the kids & there's probably more to the story) but it doesn't matter whether the new girl is younger or not, it's still going to hurt that he's showing evidence of moving on.
I don't know why any 49 year old would want to date a 23 year old but that's just me. If he's happy with her than that's a good thing. It won't be easy but in order for you to let go of all the past hurt between you and move on your going to need time and to forgive both him and yourself. His happiness shouldn't make you bitter; there's happiness out there for you too.
Good luck.
2007-04-01 23:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have plenty of reason to be angry- that was your home and this person feels like an intruder but it is not her you should be angry with, this is not her fault. However, would you prefer to have stayed in a marriage that wasn't working no matter how much time's gone by and waste more years? You won't be wasting any more of your life on it, you are now free and have the great opportunity to find something that will work for you, that will make you happy. I'm sure it's normal for you to feel this way in the beginning but it'll pass if you don't obsess on it and it won't matter so much to you. Good luck.
2007-04-01 23:50:27 · answer #3 · answered by strawberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I empathize with you. Sadly your feelings are not uncommon nor out of the question in your circumstance. The thing to keep in mind is your life is no longer is involved with this person. What he does has absolutely nothing to do with your bright future. Obviously something was not working and that fact has not changed. You are feeling hurt based on what really is not important in your life now. I do not mean to be trite. Frankly your position is not easy. Sometimes hurt can help us grow. Embrace it a little so you can move on. A good cry is OK. When you are done look ahead and go for it. You deserve it.
2007-04-01 23:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're angry because your supposed 401k that you've invested in (your husband) isn't showing a return, and someone who's stolen your stock is going to get the spoils. The joke is on her, he's a lousy lover and an optimism stealer...
Get a life hun, and show em how it's done! Live well, I mean REALLY well! He'll be stuck with an immature brat for a wife and you'll have your freedom...it's a blessing silly woman!
2007-04-01 23:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deal until you heal. In other words, you do what you have to in the here and now to get through this, and then, at some point, hopefully inside a year, you should be ready to move on with your life. I know it's tough right now, but time is the great equalizer and the greatest ally I think you'll find you'll end up having in all this. Good luck, darlin'.
2007-04-01 23:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you keep asking yourself..why have i been replaced. You need to change your own way of thinking and stop thinking of the negatives. Make a list of the positives and try to move your thinking in a positive direction.
I have been thru two marriages and two divorces and I just always try to remind myself that...
From the time you are born (in most cases) there isn't one person in your life that stays with you in your life from the moment you are born until the moment you die. Everyone in your life is a "part" of your life not your "whole" life. Life has a way of moving you to where you need to be.
2007-04-01 23:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't say replace. I think it is normal to be angry or enraged but forcus on yourself. Look at Demi Moore after her divorce she went out and got herself a bod. Focus on you now. It sounds like he has a mid-life crisis and come on 23 and his 49. It will take a lot to satisfy her sexually, because $ will only cut it so far. So don't pay attention. Move on and stay in touch with your kids.
2007-04-01 23:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay true to yourself and know that the 23 year old is a symptom of his issues, but probably not the cure. My guess is that he does not want to be married and this has little to do with you. many men get bored or complacent and fee that they need to change external things to fix the problem because it is much easir than looking in the mirror and doing serious soul searching
2007-04-01 23:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by Daniel N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to angry, trust me on that one. It also sounds like your ex is going through a midlife at the moment.
The only way to get over it is time and a lot of thought. Just don't go crazy.
2007-04-01 23:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋