What's your problem?

Answer 1

My 3 year old is still in her terrible twos, my wife of 15 years is wondering why she puts up with me, my two oldest boys continue to fuss about nothing important, my mom continually asks me to do chores all the time, my dad is something of a know it all which gets on my nerves, I have had to wipe dirty butts for the last 10 years, when one of my four kids gets sick I will too, my dog won't stop chasing cars, my neighbors 4 year old kid walks thru my house like he owns it, my job which I've had for 19 years is still just as boring as it was 18 years ago, I have gained 50 ponds in the last four months because of a new medicine my doctor has me on, both my knees have arthritis from surgeries I had years ago, my back has two bulging disks, there are more wild onions in my yard than there is grass, the mouse I been trying to catch keeps out smarting me which is bad for my ego, I have a tooth that chipped a month ago, my pinky finger has a paper cut, the tag on my shirt is itching me, I just got the worst hair cut I've ever had, I sleep too little, I drink too much (sodas), my brother is gay, my niece is gay, and both are happier than me, my golf game is getting worse as I grow older, Michael Jackson is still out of jail, I have an ingrown toe nail, it's tick season and I seem to be a magnet for them, I accidently bleached my new pair of levis shorts, my wireless provider sucks, my truck needs a few repairs, my van needs many repairs, my bicycle was stolen, the meatloaf I had for supper has given me heartburn and there's no place like home ... unless you live at my house!

So ... what's your problem?

Answer 2

I broke my lawn mower, the weed eater, the chain saw, the garden tiller. I was thrown from my horse into the fence, which broke, and my arm broke when it broke the fence. As I was explaining how I broke my arm, I made a mighty gesture with my broken arm and accidentally hit the kitchen counter and broke some tiles and also broke the cast holding my broken arm together. Since the cast was already broken, I decided to take a shower before going back to the doctor. Adjusted the water, stepped in, and broke the shower door trying to get out fast because the water was scalding. Ran into the utility room and could hear the water boiling in the water heater, and yeah, it's broke. Turned on the air conditioner for the first time this year to cool off a bit and it didn't come on. Right again - broke. Opened my little wallet to pay the doctor for fixing the cast on my broken arm and for giving me some salve for the burns from the broken water heater and found nothing. You guessed it - I'm broke. And all this happened to me during the last five days. Ain't life interesting? And don't you feel better that you are probably a world away from me?

Answer 3

Shouldn't I be lying down?

Answer 4

My problem is that I have so many problems I don't have the time or feel like listing them.

Answer 5

Republicans!

Answer 6

My father was a career man in the Army. At work I will push myself too hard, and expect too much from my co-workers.
Is Dr. Phil in the house????

Answer 7

You better have a seat for this one. Grab a pen and some paper. This may take a while.
Shouldn't I be lying down?
You see Doc, it all started way back when ...

Answer 8

Right now...I have cramps. Bad nasty cramps and I am praying that my painkiller and wine will knock it out. The problem I will have in the morning is trying to get the kids out the door for school with a headache.

Answer 9

Problem? What problem? Do you think I have a problem? I don't have a problem.
: } See, I'm happy as a clam.

Answer 10

Hillary Clinton.