divorced in 1999, had 2 kids, got back together in 2000, remarried in 2001 and had another child, everything was going pretty good until he got a job at a state prison and a part time job on the weekends. Then it's like we never saw him anymore, never made time for me, when there was me and him time, he wanted to spend it with his friends. So I turned to someone else who did pay attention to me after 6 years of being married to the same man twice. I left him for the second time and divorced again. I believe it was a mistake. I am with another man right now who treats me very well and my children very well, but I am not very happy. I feel Like I'm in a place where I don't belong. I feel that I belong with my ex husband and not with my boyfriend. My boyfriend really is not very outgoing, he likes to stay home and watch tv. But I find myself missing my ex very, very, much, and start wishing that we could work things out between us. Please help me with some advice. THANKS!!!
2007-04-01 15:27:12 · 16 answers · asked by cool30mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The ex is the one you should be asking. He may have already found someone. Have you talked with him about how you feel? We learn from our mistakes and sometimes it isn't what we wanted to learn, but if he still loves you it just might work out, but this time work on staying together instead of pulling apart.
2007-04-01 15:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me for being honest! I don't think the problem is your ex-husband or your boyfriend. It's YOU! you don't need to be with anyone right now until you work you out. You've had this man twice and it failed. I don't think going back will make you happy, well maybe temporarily. Next I think you should leave this bf. He's a rebound and sounds like too good of a guy to hurt. I think you need some "Me" time. Focus and your life and kids life and the love life will come. We all want what we can't have and end up with what we don't want and you know why? It's because we are impatient and selfish. Take your time! Figure out what you truly need.
2007-04-01 15:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is ALWAYS hard to rid yourself of the man you married first and more so if you had children with him.
I'm going to tell you this:separate yourself from both for a while.
If you still feel the same way in 2 weeks, tell your ex ,how you feel, so that he is aware
then just "date" for about 6 mths
KEEP SEPARATE LIVING ARRANGMENTS
if it is still going REAL good after the 6 mths. is up, then make the next move
DON"T listen to anyone that says stupid things about how you were married twice etc.
Go with your heart again, but use your head this time!!!
take your time!! there are children in this now !!!!not just you!!!
do what is best for ALL of you
good luck!!!!!
2007-04-01 15:42:30 · answer #3 · answered by leroux3s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you still love the ex but you need to really think about why you and he divorced twice before you do anything or hurt the guy you are with. From what you said he is good to you and the kids. Something drew you to him. Do you want to really risk your relationship with him and go back to the ex? Do you truly believe that it would work between you and the ex husband? Remember it did not work two times before. Good luck with your choice and may you finally find true happiness.
2007-04-01 15:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need advice! You need a Marriage Counselor. Obviously there is a bond with your ex since you have children with him, but that's not enough if you are playing the"see-saw game"> I don't see him; he is with his friends' ; my boyfriend treats me well and the children too; I love my ex and on and on. You have a problem which needs sorting out or you are going to repeat this pattern , and wake up some day a lonely, bitter woman. DO something for yourself and the kids. Get some professional advice.
2007-04-01 15:38:11 · answer #5 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever think that no matter where you are the grass will always look greener somewhere else? If so, you need to stop and take a long look at yourself and figure out why you cant let yourself be content. Jumping from man to man is not the answer here. Its only a distraction from the real issue.
2007-04-01 15:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by starryeyed75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your ex is your soul mate and you just didnt realize it until it was gone. I have to same problem my fiancee works all the time, i get angry about it but i step back and look and say i really love him and i cant picture my life without our family. If you feel that strongly about him call him and talk to him and see if you two can work things out, go to a relationship therapist and talk to them about it, it may do you both some good. Get all your feelings out and on the table.
Good Luck!!!
2007-04-01 15:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by emt_907 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going through. I divorced my ex in 2004 after three kids and him cheating on me. For the next two years I dated him and we tried everything to work things out. Which they had been going good for 8 months then last July we bought a house and two weeks after moving in I found out he had been molesting our daughter. So just be careful sometimes it's a blessing in disguise when they are gone at least it was for me.
2007-04-01 15:36:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi...
if you really really miss your ex-husband that much try to work things out maybe for the last time..i don't think it would hurt if you try..ayt?! and this time talk things out...tell him how you feel, tell him your thoughts regarding not spending some quality time together...tell him everything that you desired so he would be aware of his shortcomings and he could do something about it for the betterment of your relationship.... but then if he doesn't change it's time to evaluate your feeling and reasons for loving him.....
2007-04-01 15:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by amber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling! You are wishy washy and self centered. You want your husband...no you want to be alone....no you want your husband....no you want a boyfriend....no you want your husband.
Your poor kids!
Controll your damn hormones and be more concerned with raising healthy children that aren't exposed to your back and forth introduction of different men in their lives. You are a poor example of a mother!
2007-04-01 15:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by jackofonetrade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋