How to stop acting like you owe your boss something?

Question

Ok I have worked for my boss for several years and am very close to her. I consider her family and get the good and bad sides of that. But the problem is its almost like I feel like I owe her something. I mean she has done a lot for me and I love her for it. But I have also done a lot for her. In the past year I have called into work sick one day. I always ask for time off over a month in advance (she requires two weeks). I get to work early, leave late, do my job plus some. Yes she has been good to me. But I have been to her too. So why do I feel like I owe her something? And how do I stop. It is cutting into my personal life-and extra work that I do that I make A LOT more money at. I have a loyalty to her that I can not give up even for that extra money. Last week I went into work early and gave up a $100 job for the other work that I do. What is up with this? And like I said how do I stop? Yes its a guaranteed check but it would still be there if I stopped doing the extras

I just wanted to clarify a couple things here. First of all its not about loving making money. I am a single parent of four children. My current job barely pays my bills which is why I also do extra work. Not because I enjoy it but because of our well-being I need to. I only stay with my job because I love it and it is rewarding in other ways. Also as far as managing my work time better I do not need to. I get there early and leave late not because I can not do my own job but because I am constantly picking up other peoples slack and doing their jobs. And also because my job isnt a sit at a desk and get done what you can that day type of work there is always something that can be done. It is cosntantly changing and there is always SOMETHING to do. And could easily get backed up and overwhelmed

Answer 1

You have already taken a good first step - questioning your actions. Begin a notebook that you write to yourself that "your boss is your employer and that your obligations end with your job description and when you leave work" because the problem is not her but your feelings and you need to work at developing you self-efficacy and personal strength to better be able to take advantage of other positive opportunities - such as little extra cash or some down down time when you are sick - and no should not come to work sick - you are actually risking other people's health and it is inconsiderate - another thing is learning better time management to do the things described in your job description to arrive and stay a normal work day - you may want to talk to your boss about this as you have developed a symbiotic relationship or at least a co-dependent one and sudden changes to your routine may put her out of whack as well, and lastly have if you have a significant other, have them help provide you with some distractions that force you to make decision not to do the extra work and to have fun - because life is more than work

Answer 2

Your a loyal person, it's just in your character, it's not a bad thing, you just have to remember that if you need the extra money from the side job that is also important to your finincial well being. You have the obligation bug too, don't know how to kick it, I also have that bug. lol... but my problem was easy to solve, my boss didn't treat me good, so I didn't care to please him.....

Answer 3

ORGANIZE YOUR DAY BETTER.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE INTO "LOVE MAKING MONEY".
THATS A BAD DEAL....
CHOOSE YOUR JOB OVER SECONDARY JOB...