toms ex is this bitter,nasty b-tch that uses thier son like bait to get what she wants.for example she will have joe(6 yr old son) call his father and ask him to pay/buy him something that she wants for him.Now tom allready pays her MORE child support than the court ordered.The problem is tom knows the things she does is wrong but when it comes to say anything to her he ALLWAYS gives in.Why does he allow her to control him this way?
2007-04-01 14:46:53 · 10 answers · asked by tammypage678 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have to add they both have joint custody and he was the one to leave her so she can't keep him from seeing his son and he does not want her back as she would take him back in a heart beat
2007-04-01 14:50:39 · update #1
Scared of losing his son. Yes, a man could lose contact with his children if his ex was evil enough. They can use all kind of excuses to keep him away. Another thing also could be the guilt he feels for not living with his son, so he hates to say no and it is easier for him to give in. Maybe in time he will be able to stop feeling this way. Just be there for him and don't criticize him for what he is doing. I'm sure deep down inside he is beating his own myself up.
2007-04-01 14:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman is robbing him blind !!!! Wake up !!!
Take this up with a lawyer... It does say in most divorce aggreements that the parents are Not allowed to use the children towards selfish benefit.
Use this and hopefully you and your fiance will get custody and will be through with that ******. This should work. Can also talk about maybe recording those calls if needed for evidence.
Another hint BIG RED FLAG :::: Watch out if she asks just for money to buy something for the son...
Cause what she is really doing is using the boy for bait and keeping the money for HERSELF !!!! I bet she also has no receipts for these toys or things that she says she buys the son with that money .... more proof that the money goes in her pocket and not for what she lied for. !!!!!!! Do not play this sick game ,,, get the lawyer and get rid of her custody,
When these calls come ... the father needs to put his foot down and say that if his son needs this item they are asking for it will be bought and delivered in your home,,, thereby not sending her the money for her to spend on herself !
After reading your comments, sounds like she is a real gold digger, and was good idea he left her, now do the next step and work on ending her custody as soon as possible.
GOOD LUCK !!!!
2007-04-01 14:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by Tom M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds just like my mothers boyfriend. He has children with his ex and she is always doing things like that to make him feel guilty if he says no to his kids. My advice to her (because her kids are all grown) was to be careful because his divorce if fairly new and he already feels torn that his kids aren't with him all the time. You don't want to push him away from you by telling him not to do nice things for his kids. Either he will eventually get tired of it on his own or he will never stop giving in. I told my mom that she knew he had kids when she met him so she needs to make sure she does not come in between him and his children. I just hope eventually these men will realize they are being manipulated and do something about it so they do the things for their kids, not for the ex. Maybe he can just say he will buy this or that himself and not give the money.. and maybe keep the items at his house to be sure it IS something his son really wanted.
2007-04-01 15:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't that just the way??? Drives me crazy!! These women make our men's lives miserable and they still end up bending over for them....If you say anything you are the biahch and if you don't you end up suffering in silence; because he is being taken advantage of. The hard core truth is that this is his problem and between him and his son. He has to be congenial and get along for the sake of this child; but what is it really teaching the boy? That's my point. What message is this action sending? Unfortunately, we have to stay out of it. Good luck and I feel your pain. Nana
2007-04-01 14:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two sides to every story. You may not know some details of their history either. He needs to stand up to her if she is manipulating. He is only court-ordered to pay a certain amount. If he anticipates that there may be other costs, he should stick to that amount. He needs to learn to say no. If the son needs/wants something, dad should be happy to be of assistance. Why wouldn't he?
2007-04-01 14:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy a break that's his son for Gods sake most people are in here complaining that they don't get enough . Let the guy buy what he wont's to get his kid hes just being a good dad for crying out loud
2007-04-01 15:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guess what? You have a good man on your hands and you shouldn't ruin that. He's a good man. Even though they are done he respects the fact that she is the mother of his child. And for that she will always have A ball. I suggest you grab the other one, because he's a keeper! :)
2007-04-01 14:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever get broken up with? Dumped? Ever try to get them back? Have YOU ever dumped someone you were done with? You know what I mean; when you're DONE with someone, you're done! Its over! Apparently there's unfinished business there and I'd give it serious thought before I married him. Get this straightened out before you sign on the dotted line.
2007-04-01 14:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a son whom he loves. He feels guilty for disrupting this boy's life, and he tries to compensate by buying things.
Get used to it. Always going to be that way.
2007-04-01 15:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be because she is the mother of his child and he does not want to fuss with her. She has had practice and knows how to push his buttons.
2007-04-01 14:52:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋