and my hubby does not want to touch me. I have given birth to and breastfed three beautiful kids. I don't plan to have nay more kids so, I decided to have sugery on my sagging breast and stomach because my muscles were out-a-wack. I feel sexier than ever. I once did NOT even let him see me naked because of my insecurities, now I walk around proud and he won't even look at or touch me. What is up with that. I thought that I fixed my problem, but it looks like I created one for my husband. I feel like I have made a selfish decision, but I ask him about his thoughts on the whole idea before I followed through with it. What should I do. I love my husband, and would not do anything purposely to distance him from me. HELP, if you can!
2007-04-01 13:59:46 · 17 answers · asked by Es Nina Chica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tummy tuck/breast lift!
2007-04-01 14:09:53 · update #1
you need to tell him that your surgery was to make you feel more confident, and to give you more security with yourself. I think its hard for a man to understand because they do not have to give birth, gain weight, and have babies. They don't understand the changes your body goes through and how the physical changes make you feel. Its not a selfish decision, you need to make him understand how you feel, maybe he is insecure with you now. Put his mind at ease and let him know how much you love him, and that the surgery does and will not affect your relationship. He'll come around
2007-04-01 14:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you can't change what you did even if you wanted to. If it makes you feel good that is a great thing. I had my breasts done after having kids, etc. Your husband is probably insecure that you have other men admiring your new look. Or maybe he feels that he isn't equal to you in the physical sense anymore. Maybe a little reassurance on your part would help. It will just take some time. Good Luck to both of you.
2007-04-01 14:11:41 · answer #2 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that you can really do as you have
had the operation, why who knows for sure. I have
been married to my wife for over 20 yrs and she
never needed or wanted cosmetic surgery be-
cause I love her just the way she is: many women
think that if they change themselves with surgery
everything will be okay. WRONG. Why it's be-
cause the doctors will never tell you about the
aging process that no-one can have complete
control of and that no matter how many operations
you have you will always age in different ways no
matter what, so to imporve one's self is something
that will have to be maintained for the rest of the
life of that person no matter how many surgerys
that person has. Remember that this is a business
just like changing roof tiles is a business, face it
or not.
2007-04-01 14:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems kind of weird because usually the opposite happens. Maybe he just needs time to adjust to the new you. Two months is only eight weeks and he probably is remembering the discomfort you experienced right after the surgery. He probably doesn't want to hurt you.
If I may be so bold... just have your way with him in the middle of the night (tonight) under the cover of darkness. Of course he'll wake up immediately but he'll realize that you are indeed feeling okay now and "open for business" again. He'll come around and you'll be fighting him off again soon :-)
2007-04-01 14:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may be feeling some pangs of insecurities. If you are suddenly beautiful now you will not find him as attractive.Explain to him you have done this for you ,which in turn will benefit you both. Not to strike out and see if you can suddenly do better. Remind him"when Mamma is happy EVERYBODY is happy! Give him some extra reassurance for awhile. Don;t forget he's going through the changes with you.
2007-04-01 15:03:04 · answer #5 · answered by winddancer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he might just need some time or he might not want to hurt you after the surgery or he may be feeling insecure. But really you should be having this conversation with him. Get a baby sitter go out to dinner and talk to him. That is the best way to get your answer and to get this resolved is to go right to the source. Good luck!!
2007-04-01 14:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by Blair S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest giving him some time to adjust.
As you are saying, you look totally different! He may be a little wierded out at this point. It is one thing to say "Go for it!" and another thing to be living it. There are people who are freaked out about plastic surgery and they are the ones who got it!
Seriously...TALK TO HIM! Too many people sit and wonder what is going through their man's head when all they have to do is have a heart to heart. Its how a marriage stays strong.
Good luck and keep feeling great!
2007-04-01 14:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing anyone else can do - you did what you wanted and now have to suffer the consequences. Your poor husband who loved you as you were! Yes, of course it was selfish. He's probably thinking you did this for more attention from other men.... so did you, really?
2007-04-01 16:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wondered how one may react, I am sure most are positive but the breast thing may freak a few men out...might make him feel he is touching something else and not you....perhaps because its been fairly recent he is hesitant that it might hurt you...give him some time and then jump his bones.
2007-04-01 14:06:27 · answer #9 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say your one option is talk to him. But probably a counselor is your only bet, this is a permanent fixture you have already decided on, and it makes you happy. But your hubby being UNhappy, will only eventually make you start to feel bad. Suggest a counselor to your honey, Im sure it will help:) Good luck sweetie
2007-04-01 14:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by c.a_durham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋