I have been married for 4 yrs to my hubby and getting a divorce now. I have a son from another relationship who is 5.5 yrs .During my seperation with my hubby before we filed for divorce i had a fling with my son's bio-dad(though i never told him he was the father of my son) who is also married it was a big mistake.I am pregnant now 7 months along with his second child.I told my ex.bf the whole truth and he did not react well.Now his wife has she filled for divorce.At this point how do i communicate if at all with ex.bf?
2007-04-01 13:07:41 · 17 answers · asked by Megan C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My son had a paternity test done so he cant deny it.
2007-04-01 13:12:58 · update #1
When will you learn that the split between your legs can cause a split in your relationships.Keep your pants up from now on and leave the married men alone.
2007-04-01 15:03:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Through a lawyer. I don't mean that as a smart a$$ answer, but it's clear your communication skills need some work. How did you think he was going to react?
Leave him alone. You created this situation and everyone is suffering as a result. Get a grip on your life and stop with all the deception. The only thing you can consider doing is giving him a cooling off period. Send him a letter, apologize for being an idiot, ask him what part he wants in his children's lives, if any. Don't alienate him further, don't start making noises about child support.
I'm not letting the ex-boyfriend off the hook, but you had a lot of control over all these situations. You really need to evaluate your motives and decision-making process. Before you make any more decisions about anything, check your history and think about what you're about to do or say. Think about how your actions impact you AND your children. How are you going to explain this to them?
2007-04-01 20:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number One:
You need to apoligize to your ex-bf. You need to admit that you made some serious mistakes, and take full responsibility for your actions. The reasons you need to do this are to put your ex-bf in a position where he will be reasonable with you since he has several reasons to be incredibly hurt and disgusted with you. The second reason is it's a start to addressing your problems. Then, give him some time to settle with it. Maybe a week or so. You've lied, cheated, and let your son down. This is going to be a difficult thing for your son to live with as he gets older and starts to understand he was robbed of some critical developmental years with Daddy. If you want your son to have anything resembling a decent life without relationship problems, you are going to have to clean up your act in a big way. The harder your effort, the more your son and his father will sympathize and understand. You're not being completely honest with yourself either. Part of being true to those you love is being true to yourself as well. That's the only way they can get the best of you. Get help from support groups and/or professional counseling for starters. Best of luck.
2007-04-01 20:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by oogabooga37 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In My Opinion.......
Learn to love yourself. Forget the relationships with the fathers or bio fathers, do yourself a favour and make time for you your son and your unborn baby. Kids are growing fast and pick up everything around them like sponges of education and human nature. I hope things go really well for you.....
2007-04-01 20:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by ooo0charlie0ooo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you communicate? Why do you wish to torture the guy hasn't he had more then his share . Go torture the bio-dad he got all the pleasure and the ex gets all the crap . I think its time to change things around let the ex go in Peace and get support from the bio dad
2007-04-01 20:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever gone back and re-read any of your other postings? This one is rather redundant.
I truly believe you are a drama queen and find ways to bring attention to yourself, regardless if it's positive or negative.
You and your son need some professional counseling.
2007-04-01 20:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your ex made this mess now lay in it! Just becasue you and your husband were separated doesnt mean it's still not cheating. Dont communicate with your ex bf until his divorce is finalized, you will regret it later.
2007-04-01 20:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by I Like Grapes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is some tangled web you have weaved. Well, of course you should speak with the father of your children. He does have a right to be in the lives of his children. Good luck to you and God bless****
2007-04-01 20:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have messed up, but hopefully you have learned a good lesson. Be a good Mother and move on with your life. I would be surprised if ex wanted to talk with you.
2007-04-01 20:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your best to straightened out things and await the 3rd marriage in the future if situation permits.
2007-04-01 20:16:16 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋