Gramaticaly Correct???

Question

Is this song to the tune of take me out to the ball game gramatically correct??? Here it is:

Take me out to see Maui.
Take me out to the beach.
Buy me a lei and a boogey board.
I don’t care, I will never get bored.
So it’s swim, swim, swim, in the ocean,
Then run around in the sand.
For you’ll swim, tan, lay in the sand.
Out in old Maui!

Answer 1

The fourth line is a comma splice so either put in a conjuction, a semicolon, or write it as two sentences. Take out the comma after the last swim in the fifth line. Also, technically you should put "and then" or just "and" in the sixth line. Again, a comma splice in the seventh line. Add an "and" after tan. Lastly, the last two lines should be one sentence, so leave out the period on the seventh line after sand. Like this:
Take me out to see Maui.
Take me out to the beach.
Buy me a lei and a boogey board.
I don’t care; I will never get bored.
So it’s swim, swim, swim in the ocean,
And then run around in the sand.
For you’ll swim, tan, and lay in the sand
Out in old Maui!

Answer 2

It's written like a poem? So the commas and periods are fine.

I think the last two lines should be one sentence...

For you’ll swim, tan, lay in the sand,
Out in old Maui!

And get rid of the comma after the third swim.

Answer 3

The fourth line is a comma splice; a semi-colon would be better.
A comma at the end of the second-last line would be better.

And you do know that "lay" in the present tense without a direct object means "have sex" and not "lie", right?

Answer 4

It's fine, but I'd get rid of the comma after the third "swim." Also, "grammatically."

Answer 5

Not bad, but you need to change "lay" to "lie". You use "lay" to describe objects; "lie" to describe a person.