Who wants to get my goat for free?

Question

My vet said he's too obese. What use is he if he can't eat my grass? Well, besides the obvious use Latymer Crown has for goats. *cough*

Answer 1

I am still trying to get rid of my scape goat. No one seems to want it. Is it my fault? Everyone blames me for what my scape goat does. Before I get another one I will put a scape clause in the contract. No one is going to get my goat. As for your rotund billy goat, remember, chubby kids tend to grow up into chubby adults. Trying feeding him low carb grass.

Answer 2

I've Googled 'Latymer Crown' as well as Yahoo!ing it. They've come up the with an early biographer of Ann Boleyn, and 'Latymer Crown', a masseur who tried to get his clients to calm down in strange ways [?].
I've come to a theory that you're harvesting the grass for personal use for ✙personal use!✙ and goats have nothing to do with it!

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Answer 3

A door-to-door salesman has had a really rough day and decided to try one more house before heading home. He knocks on the door, determined to make a sale. A small boy opens the door, and the salesman starts in with his sales pitch. The boy stood there speechless, and the salesman, seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere, asked the boy where his mother was. The boy didn't say a word and just pointed upstairs. The salesman goes up the stairs, opens the bedroom door and finds the boy's mother in bed with a goat!! Completely flabbergasted, the salesman slams the door shut and flies down the stairs. He grabs the little boy by the shoulders and yells, "Do you know what's in bed with your mother? Do you know what they're doing? Doesn't this bother you?" To which the little boy responded, "Na-a-a-a-a-a-a."

Answer 4

MMMMmmmm... I know a great recipe for grass, but I quit eating and smoking that stuff... Makes you do weird and funny stuff like shaving.

Pa rebuilt two 1965 goats one rag top for himself. It was actually a 1964 & 1/2 Tempest Lemans. made the 389 into a 400 and popped a tri-pack on it... Black with gold flakes... That thing would move!!!

He built mom a true 65 GTO. Also a ragtop. Hers was a 389, Automatic. Fun car... She sold it... So someone got her goat. I never had a goat. Shure would be nice!

Answer 5

I do, I need to replace my old goat, Angora.

Two guys were walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they were surprised to find they can't see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen... Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that's a deep hole!"
Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently... They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!
The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, "Boy that was close! We'd better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!".
So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across me sitting on my front porch drinking a boer..

"Hey Mr. Do you happen to own a goat?", one of the men asked.
I said, "Yeah, why do you ask?"
The men then tell me what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.
I said, "Well boys, I don't think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block

Uh OH.

Answer 6

When I was a kid, Johnny used to come to school every day with his goat pulling him in a red wagon. One day he showed up without the wagon and the teacher asked him what happened. He explained how they'd been going down a hill and couldn't stop and at the bottom of the hill the wagon handle went up the goat's ***. The teacher said, "Johnny, in school we use the word rectum." And Johnny said, "rectum, hell I killed him."

Answer 7

Sell it to Adam Sandler, he likes Goats.

Answer 8

Isn't grass considered illegal? Why let your goat get it when you have a good cash crop on your hands.

Answer 9

You shouldn't let people get your goat, they're just doing it for the attention ;)

Answer 10

I love goats there so cute!