I study hard, work hard, and do things most people wouldn't do to get the job done. But whenever I get congratulated or people tell me how talented and a hard worker I am, something inside tells me I don't deserve any of this and why should I be proud to get anything. My birthday was the other day and the folks in my office baked a cake and made a big fuss I guess because they like me but I thought it was too much for a person like me. I'm usually the one who would do for someone else. When I was a kid we were poor and didn't have much and I was teased by kids in school because I din't have nice clothes etc. Whydo I feel like this? I get SO uneasy when I get thanked or told I do a good job. Any answers guys? Thanks.
2007-04-01 08:54:30 · 4 answers · asked by Nash M 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It sounds like some low self-esteem. For whatever reason - and there are many possible reasons, everyone has their own - you just don't give yourself credit for most of your accomplishments. Your reaction is to discount the accomplishment, not acknowledge it. The feeling that you're not worthy of praise or recognition...which is untrue. It's your pattern. And it's not a pattern that will have good consequences for you.
I recommend that you work on changing it. Do two things...
1. Give yourself credit for the things you do well. The small things and the big things. It's like money in the bank. You can't draw interest if you don't make a deposit. Start by giving yourself full credit for every single one of your past accomplishments, no matter how small. "I had a job cutting lawns for two summers." Like that. Make a list and methodically say to yourself, "That was a worthwhile effort. I'm glad I did it."
2. When anyone gives you positive feedback, praise or recognition, say something you've memorized as a "thank you": "Thank you, very much. It's really nice to have that kind of feedback. I appreciate it." And when someone pays you a compliment, say the words with a smile. Every time.
You gotta break the pattern. It will take a long time, but with persistence, you'll do it!
2007-04-01 09:06:12 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like Jennifer's answer - I think she is right on the money and I would jave the same analysis and have the same advice. Be goo to yourself. Maybe someone else could do what you do, but they don't; YOU DO. We don't have to think a lot of ourselves, but we should recognize the good we do - at least we are doing what we were put here to do by our Creator!
2007-04-01 09:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by cavassi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont have an answer but feel the same way so at least u know ur not the only one out there :)
2007-04-01 09:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by daniel t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly Asperger disease. low esteem. haven't been praised by father, only critized
2015-07-04 08:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by dreeba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋