He and I have been dating 1 year +. His 2 adult children still live with him. They get everything they want and are ungrateful, spoiled brats. I am excluded from everything...including this past christmas...where he had "real" obligations. After christmas eve and christmas day were finished he was finally allowed to come over that night. They call him, incessantly when we are together. Every problem they have...he fixes. Is there room (for real) for me...or am I just there to distract him from his grieving? He loved his wife very much, and I respect that. I just dont know if I should hold out hope for the 2 of us or continue to build my own life?
2007-04-01 07:56:14 · 7 answers · asked by partly cloudy 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
His kids will not change. They have him exactly where they
want him. If you want anything to change, he will have to
grow a spine and tell them to grow up. If they are not in
school, they need to move out. (You didn't say how old they are.) The only way the situation will change is if you tell him
how you feel, (without throwing out ultimatums or pushing him into a corner, which will only make him defensive.) If he
wants your relationship to work, he will do something about
it, and if he does nothing, that's your answer. Good Luck!
2007-04-01 09:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until he puts his foot down with these"children" things will never change.He's allowing this to happen and therefore it will.
It's not you.Any other woman he was dating would have the same troubles no matter who they were.They sound like selfish,self-centred,spoiled "brats." Dad has to grow up and realize what is going on.
I would doubt very much after 2 yrs. that he is still greiving.Yes,he loved his wife and you do have to respect that but there should be room by now for someone else in his life.
He needs right now to stop his children dictating to him or if I were you I would move on now.Don't waste anymore of your time unless he makes it his priority to get his life in order with his children.
Good Luck to you.
2007-04-01 15:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please build your own life w/o him. if you are not "in" the family functions now they will keep it that way until he puts his foot down and insists you are together as a family. if he does not then he is definately not worth it. go out and meet other people maybe he will change if he loses you. maybe he won't whatever the outcome please think of no.1 and that is YOU! i know from experience how mean step children can be. best of luck.
2007-04-01 17:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by pam e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with Sonnyboy.
Sounds to me like he's in a very comfortable place: he can see his children and spend time with them...WHILE he has you on the side, begging for time and "a little of what is left"...
Sorry to sound rude; it is not my intention....
But I would rethink this relationship.
Maybe he just isn't willing to jeopardize his relationship with his sons/daughters but he is not giving you the place you supposedly should have, as his Significant Other.
.....................................................
I guess you'll have to follow your heart. If you love him and are willing to accept this, go ahead. But don't expect them to change.....Sorry....
Good luck!
2007-04-01 16:04:10 · answer #4 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only person who can change this is him and I would suggest that he has no interest in changing it. I would have a long talk with him and tell him how I feel. Then his reaction will tell you what you should do.
2007-04-01 16:36:40 · answer #5 · answered by nidan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his kids will not change
sorry
2007-04-01 15:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOUR SELF AND YOUR FEELINGS
2007-04-01 15:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by SOCK MONKEY 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋