me and my husband have been maried for 2 years but the hproblem that i am having is that he lies and sneeks around i have told him how mutch this bothers me not to be told the truth and played for stupid but he still wont quit what should i do?
2007-04-01 07:41:43 · 30 answers · asked by kokopelli 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A person lies and sneaks around for a reason. You have asked him to stop, but have you bothered to find out what he is lying and sneeking around for. Maybe you need to find the reason he is doing it, rather than asking him to stop. If he is sneaking around with another woman and lying about it, then your marriage is in trouble. You need to decide if you can live like this. Can you handle coming second in your husband's life? There are problems that need addressing. If I were you I would come out and just tell him flatly that unless he is prepared to work on the marriage then its over. You can tell him that trust and communication is one of the most important things in a good solid relationship and without it, the marriage is doomed. You also have to start believing it too because without trust, your marriage really is doomed.
You can take the easy way out and close your eyes to it and hope it goes away, or you can confront the problem head on and demand some answers....demand he consider your feelings and work on whatever problems are in your marriage.
If he doesnt stop with the lies and the deceit, then it will only be time before your marriage falls apart. Its on its way to being torn apart and he is doing the tearing. He needs to mend it and you need to demand he start the mending. You need intervention, preferably by a qualified and experienced marriage guidance counsellor, but if he is not interested in mending the marriage then you have to realise he doesnt want the marriage to work. Maybe you really do have to cut your losses and get out. Its only been 2 years and the rot has already started to set in. Its not a good start and I wouldnt be waiting too much longer to insist on counselling.
2007-04-01 07:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a girl friend you can REALLY trust that your husband would not recognize her car, I would get her to follow him sometime to see where he's sneaking off to. It would have to be sometime that you have a day or two of notice of a night he's going out, and you have the feeling he's lying, get your friend to park down the road & follow him. I don't know if this is good advice or not, but my first wife was doing those things & the only way I caught her was I just played it cool, then I planned to trade shifts with a friend & I came home at 10pm & caught her in MY bed with my best friend. Tricking her was the only way to find out for sure. All I'm saying is you might need some help in finding out what's going on. You deserve to know the truth.
2007-04-01 14:58:26 · answer #2 · answered by The Count 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve better than what you have, he want stop no matter how much you ask him to, he'll just get worst. Married 2 years that's not very long and he is showing he isn't happy in this marriage and neither or you. Best thing is to sit him down ,tell him your not going to keep putting up with this behavior and if he feels he want stop, file for divorce. You deserve to be happy not sitting around taking this crap from him, find someone that appreciates your love , he is a rounder and he shows you no respect, get out before a child gets involved . Get rid of his sorry a** and don't let him talk you out of it, talk is cheap he is no good and you deserve better.
2007-04-01 14:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run. You don't even have a good friendship, much less a good marriage. Any relationship without trust is a poor relationship. You, and anyone else, deserves better. Sorry, but I would divorce this person and wait until a true soulmate appears - someone who truly cares about you, loves you, and doesn't lie to you. Someone you can trust with your life.
2007-04-01 14:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Karen C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he's living 2 lives. I hate this, he lives a life as a husband and a family man but then he is sneaking around and doing his own thing. Tell him he can't play both sides. Ask him how would he like it if you did this stuff to him. Tell him to ask his self why did he get married. Did he get married just not to communicate and sneak around. Tell him to grow up or else.
2007-04-01 14:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by misscancer10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you're saying that all of the sudden he started being sneaky? Was NEVER like this when you met, while you dated, and once you were married? This is BRAND NEW behavior? Because if so, then you need to strike the fear of loss into him. Let him know that the more he sneaks around and acts dishonest, the more it's hurting your marriage. If he was always like this, then why did you marry him?
2007-04-01 14:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told him how you felt and it didnt mean a thing to him. that doesnt suprise me in the least. he has already shown you he has no respect for you by lying and sneaking around, I dont know why you would think telling him it bothers you would matter to him. Hes having a blast, got you waiting at home and doing whatever or whoever he wants. so what are you going to do about it,he has no respect for you do you have any for yourself?
2007-04-01 14:51:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the two of you cared enough to marry, you need to talk with him about marriage counseling. Try to salvage what you have. Then, if he doesn't choose to see what he is doing to you, you have no choice but got to a divorce lawyer. No one deserves to be treated this way. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-04-01 14:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jan C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank him for making it clear what a lying, cheating, sneaking piece of scum he is. Thank him for making it so clear that you need to leave him or kick him out and then do just that. Dump this loser. He won't change as long as you tolerate his behavior. Not all men do this. Some are faithful and devoted and loving. Look for one of those.
2007-04-01 14:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find an available curb and drop him there so the sanitation crew can pick his trifling behind up on Monday at 8:00 a.m.
Get your affairs in order!!
2007-04-01 19:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋