Bullying at work?

Question

I work at a pre-school, and a colleague is being bullied. Each member of staff are ok on their own but when they are together then ***** and back-stab. The woman I consider the ring leader is 2nd in charge and bestmates with our boss do you think this will make it harder if she complained? If my colleague took my advise and complained would it be better for her to go it alone or me go in for support as I'm the only one thats on her side I fear this may look like a conspiracy. What do you think?

Answer 1

i agree a journal with dates times and people present is a good way to start....you have to hold your head high..and always know who you are the honesty will keep your butt out of the hot seat every time. others may be to scared to say a thing over fear of losing their job..it happens mouths dont get fed without money coming in.they also may feel pressure to go along with the bully in order to keep their job..but once all the incidents are on paper with who all was there..its kinda hard to lie about if that doesn't work get a tiny recorder..it wont lie

Answer 2

Buy the book, "The Bully at Work" by Gary Namie. Your friend may be going through trauma, her colleagues have been intrinsically taught to shun and abuse her and she may be suffering beyond anything you can realize. She needs to read the book to learn protection techniques in the exercises that are outlined. Do this fast.

Bullying is a long held tradition that became fierce in America in the last few years under Enron, Cheney-- and has caused untold destruction of the psyche, death and the demise of honor in this country. This is such a serious problem that many State Governments trying to develop laws.

European countries do have laws against Bullying that include jail time and fines. Under US federal law, there are only EEOC protections that don't include the often strategic tactic of bullying. The victims can become seriously ill so get busy.

(You'll note that some skilled writers on Yahoo Q@A try to bully too)

Answer 3

It's shame, but it happens everywhere. Just be prepared to move on if bringing the issues to the boss doesn't resolve things.

I think that if they are good with the boss, they may feel like they can get away with it. That's not cool in any environment, but it happens often.

Support your friend and maybe see if there are things that your friend could do better? Like maybe there is a reason they pick on her? I'm not accusing, but some people choose to pick on a person they feel should step it up a bit. Find out if your friend has difficulties working with these people or the children. Perhaps that's is the root of the problem.

If there is nothing wrong, then take it to the boss and see what happens. If nothing with change and you don't approve of it, it may not be the best place to stay anyway.

Answer 4

Complaints will simply start a feud--unless you can document policy abuses that will force this ringleader to be dismissed.

Otherwise, the best solution is to laugh at them--the one thing bullies can't handle is being made to look the fools they are. But use a little advance planning. You need to do this in such a way that when you get an indignant reaction (and you will) you can follow it up by accusing them (correctly!) of not "having a sense of humor," "being too serious or uptight." That puts them back on the defensive.

If you don't have the personality/knoack for playing that kind of game--and playing to win--then find another job. They aren't worth stressing over.

Answer 5

I think that she needs to start a journal. Keep dates, times, people present, what happened, what was said, etc. for each incident. Then take the journal to the teachers union, or the principal. If the problem persists, take it to the school board, and if that doesn't work, contact an attorney, with all of the steps taken, the lack of results and the journal. Hostile work environments, regardless of who's doing it, is illegal, and the teacher in question can be compensated for the trouble.

Answer 6

I had a boss that was two faced. Lied and would stab people in the back that were doing good jobs.

She was basically insecure and lacking in Supervisory ability. You should support the right thing that successfully and efficiently gets the job done. Portraying politics over the right thing is never a good idea.

Answer 7

Most employment is employment at will. The only time that they will get in trouble for firing someone is a kind that is protected by law. Such as race, sex, religion or whistle blowing. If you get involved you might risk being terminated without any recourse. If the "actions" you are calling "bullying" are illegal, she should make a formal written complaint. If I were you, I would stay out of it.

Answer 8

thats a shame dont know what to advise but i will tell you one thing i was bullied at school and work and i ended up a very insecure person so just make sure you are always there for your colleague

Answer 9

I'm sure your friend will need someone who can support her claims so she should make the complaint on her own and name you as a witness.

I can't see how it would look like a conspiracy - you're just saying what you've seen.

Although I must say I agree with the people who say she should stick up for herself, give these bi*tches a taste of their own medicine.

Answer 10

I believe in standing up for yourself, and fighting back, when possible. I also believe that in the long run, you will be fired, on some pretext if you do. It now becomes your colleagues decision whether to fight back, and probably lose her position, and you have to make your choice as well.