My husband has a 4 yr old back home in florida that his baby momma just approached him with three months ago. He claims he knew there was a chance he could have gotten her preg, but they broke up a month after they had sex. So he never knew of a baby. When she called him and said they had a 4 yr old son, I was excited becuz I have had a hard itme having kids, and i LOVE children. Off top she was going off on him about seeing his son. So b4 his trip there I bought the kids sum cool stuff and made like a big a5s gift basket. At the last minute he asked me to tag along. So i did, we got htere and i got a hotel room, and rented a car. I never disrespected her by showing my face. He decided to bring Jr back to memphis with us for a month. We have been home two weeks with the lil guy. Ive taught him to call me by my first name, even tho i am his step mom. She calls OUR house daliy cursing me out. Sayin don't touch her son, dont feed him I may try to poisen him becuz Im jealous that she has >
2007-04-01 05:15:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
< has a baby with my husband. I would never hurt that child, I love him like i love my own. What do i do? How do i go about making things better? Keep in mind she is very ghetto and I am a classy type female. What do I do?
2007-04-01 05:15:41 · update #1
MAUREEN, i tried to treat it as tho it wasn't my problem, she won't come to me directly with the problem, She calls our house from a restricted number, or on someones 3way sho that her number won't show in the caller I.D. and as soon as I answer it she's going off in my ear. Last night Jr came to me and said that he wanted to talk to his brother so i dialed his home number and handed Jr the phone, his mom asked him to put me on the phone, as an innocent bystander, he handed me the phone and there she was going off. My husband goes off on her and has even threatened an order of retraint and court visitation but she's so ghetto it doesn't phase her!!!
2007-04-01 05:27:02 · update #2
BTW...He came in calling me mom! I didn't tell him too, he is going on 5 and understands that I am his step mom, he is very smart. But i corrected him and just told him to call me by my name or even make up a silly nick name!
2007-04-01 05:30:27 · update #3
I commend you on being yourself and remaining professional. When she starts going off, don't pay her any attention. If it makes you upset, just pull the phone away from your ear. Sadly, you can't change her ghetto behavior. So remain the classy lady you are. Have you asked her why is she so upset with you? Suggest to your husband to not go off on her. Just tell him, to take the phone from his ear and let her act like a fool. She is probably jealous of you because of the way you handle yourself and you are married to her child's father. Children are smart and I am pretty sure, your son would rather be with you all instead of her because no telling what she is saying to him. Keep loving the child and being a positive influence in his life. Believe me when she starts talking a lot of crazy talk the child about you all, he (the child) will see that she is lying and she will lose out. Continue to be strong and professional. She will eventually get tired and may see how foolish she act and look.Whatever you do, don't stoop down to her level though I realize it's hard not curse her out.
2007-04-01 06:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by stergre1975 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You could start by not answering the phone. Your husband needs to be the one in most contact with her even though there may be times that you need to speak with her too. He needs to speak to her about how she speaks to either one of you about the child. She probably didn't figure out that you would be in the equation when she made contact with him again and just doesn't want you around. She may come around if you and your husband can provide a united front. Quick question, what would he call you instead of your first name as you are the step mom?
2007-04-01 12:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just being a mom, really. If she's not so classy, well she's not so classy but in spite of it all, it really just sounds like adjustment period. Ride it out, don't talk to her directly - she is not your business at all. If the child wants to call you mom then let him. You will hurt his feelings otherwise and what's important is HIS feelings, not hers. Let your husband deal with her. If you get into it he will feel stuck in the middle and things will get worse. Over time she will probably get over it although she may never be nice... after all, YOU are the one who won his heart. She's afraid that her son will get left behind and all her work raising him will be for nnothing. treat her respectfully and leave it at that. Really. I know its hard but just focus on having a good time with the child. That's all that matters really.
2007-04-01 14:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suppose you could hire a hit man, but that's a little extreme. There really isn't a lot you can do about her. I would recommend having paternity testing done, so that your husband has proof of his standing, and then seek at least joint custody. As for her behavior, again, not a lot can be done. Hang up any time she starts- and simply ignore her as much as possible. Consider her like living downwind from a dump. Occasionally, the wind will blow exactly wrong, and things will stink for a while. While no real solution, it about all ya can do, unless you shop for that hit man.LOL
2007-04-01 12:38:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the child's mother can't control what you do in your own home... the child is visiting with you so his mother must have felt it was safe to let him stay with you and your husband....
don't answer the phone when she calls. do you have caller ID?
she is obviously jealous or bitter for some reason. it's not YOUR fault, she has issues.
don't explain yourself or give in to her arguing. this will just give her fuel to continue.
your husband could tell her you have good intentions for the child and would never harm him, but that probably wouldn't help, either.
sometimes we have to live with the fact that some people are uneducated, ignorant and toxic.
avoiding and ignoring her is your best bet. you seem to be doing very good by this child..... i think it's wonderful of you!
take care...
2007-04-01 12:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is really your husband's problem more than yours, though of course you're the one feeling the worst about it. He is the one who needs to reassure the child's mother that the child is safe. I assume she gave permission for this visit--that is, that your husband did not take the child and run--so I hope they can have a civil conversation about important matters. Then, after that immediate need is satisfied, a legal custody arrangement has to be made, so future visits can happen without rancor and suspicion. Her "ghetto" status is irrelevant as long as she is intelligent enough to understand the basics of child care and child custody.
2007-04-01 12:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im in the same predictament only that my boyfriends ex lives in Puerto Rico and she is married to someone else and she knew about me for months she had just started harrassing me the other day and causes drama with my guy and his daughter is 10 years old. Women like this are very jealous and there was a reason why he is not with her and since you are keeping your cool he will know that you are not one of these women that wrecks havoc and that she is the childish one. Men dont like to be around or attracted to crazy Bitches.
2007-04-01 14:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by bluerose 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The best response is to say nothing, like you said your classy and she isn't, Don't bring yourself to her level of mentality. Love this child and when you have him bring him teach him morals since this woman probably will never know how.
2007-04-01 12:21:07 · answer #8 · answered by Krinta 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all do not lower yourself to her level.Continue to love the child and treat him like your own when you have him..Secondly this is your husbands battle not yours you do not have to deal with this woman let your husband handle that..Good Luck & Best Wishes
2007-04-01 12:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she will get over it .... trust me she is just mad because you married the man she wants. countinue to love that child do not distance yourself because of the mother..... the mama will get over it soon
2007-04-01 12:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by mizzmamee2u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋