Does this poem make sense?

Question

Why do people bully?
Is there really such a need?
Why cant people just be kind to one another?
Can someone please help me?
Maybe they don’t realize how much they hurt one another?
Insecure, themselves, it’s a vicious cycle that hurts every other
Causing pain and fear in others, they do it for their dignity
Why do people cause such great indignity?

Answer 1

You didn't really ask for a critique. You asked, "does this poem make sense?" So what I gather you really want to know is whether or not readers understand what you are asking and if we get the human dilemma (how people treat each other) that is troubling you.

Yes, I do understand what you are asking and I do understand the human failings you are describing.

What I found particularly interesting was the insight at the end of the poem. On the one hand, you say people cause pain and fear in others to maintain their dignity. On the other hand, you observe that in doing so, these same people create a situation of lost dignity in those they hurt.

I think this is the saving grace of your poem...in other words, you've shared the insight that the very thing we do to protect ourselves often causes pain for those around us. I thought that was powerful, in a poem that was, for all practical purposes, more a person musing out loud than anything else. And that is ok. The first thing you need to do when you write is get your thoughts down. How far you take it depends upon why you wanted to do it to begin with.

Some painful event or series of events obviously caused you to write this poem. I am sorry for that but I am happy for you that you can get this down on paper to help you define and refine in your own mind how the world often is and how we treat each other that could be improved.

Answer 2

I admit, the way the lines run on can give a body's eyes a real ache. And there's a lot of repetition (dignity-indignity, another-other, etc.). Revise a bit - the message is clear enough, but poetry doesn't call for blatancy. That's my honest opinion.

Answer 3

Yeah, the message is pretty clear. And true. And really kind of a cliche. But it's definitely coherent, and I wish more people thought like that. Good work!

Answer 4

to be brutal, it's rather Cliche' and doesn't flow very well, there is no rhythm to it. With some reworking it could be a readable piece, but still overused context tone and subject.

Answer 5

Just fix the amount of syllables.

Answer 6

No!!! WAY too many questions IMPOSSIBLE to answer. NO MORE please!!! Thank GOODNESS you only have 3 Yahoo points LEFT, so won't be able to ASK anymore til you answer some FIRST!!!

Answer 7

umm..

Why not?