I am 26. When I was 19 I met this police officer and fell in love with him. He was 10 years my senior and had a girlfriend. The feelings were mutual. He left his girlfriend AFTER we got involved. I got pregnant when I was 20, he wanted me to have an abortion. I said no. He wanted adoption. I said no so he ignored me for 2 years, didn't meet his son until he was almost 1..and didn't get involved with his life until he was 2. This was the only significant relationship of my life...even though he never told me we were officially dating..and he never told me he loved me. About 3 years ago I met a guy at work. We liked each other and he made it no secret he was married. I slept with him (only the 2nd guy I had sex with). It's still going on and I want out because I'm starting to feel EXTREMELY guilty about this. I don't love him, but you can't just tell someone you've been with 3 years goodbye. I still love my son's dad..but he never loved me. My self esteem is low.
2007-04-01 02:45:15 · 18 answers · asked by carpediem3000 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh dear , you are having low self-esteem because you have given so much of yourself to men who really took what they weren't entitled to. You needn't feel guilty about ending things with the married man. He never should have gotten involved with you. Your son can become confused and form an attachment to him too. It would be crueler to wait longer to end it. You will always have a special place in your heart for your son's father because you had true feelings when you were involved with him. However, you are right ; he didn't care about you. So, just love your son for the both of you and try to build a life for yourself and him. Don't get involved with any man who isn't free to love you both. YOU DESERVE THAT.
You were young and still are and they have taken advantage of your inexperience. Focus on your son and the rest will fall into place. Being involved with a married man whether you love him or not is a waste of time.
2007-04-01 04:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your self esteem has always been low ---you need to work on your self respect.....i would suggest you see a therapist because i think there's something that happened in your life that makes you think getting involved with men that are attached is OK. The first guy used you...and the current guy is doing the same to you. You are setting a bad example for your child.
---Dump this guy and take time from romantic relationships to find yourself, and try to figure out the kind of man that you want in your life. Kick guys who show an interest in you but do not possess any of the qualities that you want in a man to the curb.
*am sure you would like a man that respects you, is great to your child, and a man that's 100% yours and not also with another woman
2007-04-01 11:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by Ghanaian Princess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't stop repeating your mistakes, can you?
Like it or not, you're the primary role-model in your son's life. Do you really want him growing up thinking it's okay to be involved with married individuals, or that it's okay to have an affair? Do you really want him growing-up around male figures that have no promise or substance?
Fact of that matter is, you can walk away from someone you've been involved with for three years, especially if you don't love them. That is, if you really want to. As for the father of your son, get over it, nothing will ever solidify from it. My mother went through the same thing, except she didn't know she was "the other woman" until she was pregnant with me.
2007-04-01 10:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by Joa5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I can't and will not judge you for what's going on with you, and some people here will tell you all sort of things that might help your selfesteem go from bad to worst, don't let it. You just confess the things that you have done and for that I respect you as a woman. What had happened to you before was not suprising, you were naive and new on this love relationship which end up a bit ugly but Im glad that you followed your heart by not giving away your son. This little boy will bring joy and love to you and that is the most wonderful feeling that a mother can have,(I have one too).
This realtionship that your having with the married man, you are feeling guilty,so follow that insticnt that you have, get out now before it gets heavy for you, not for him but for you. One day his wife will find out and take my words for it,it will get ugly, you will become home wrecker, or worst than that, your going to end up being called with diff. names. So do yourself a big favor,tell him it needs to stop, nothing will come out of it,if you only need him in bed. You don't love him and thats goos, and for him his also using you, and he goes back to his wife at the end of the day. Think about this, do you think your the only one his seeing on the side?, if he done this with his wife,do you think your the first one?.........just say goodbye to this realtionship and give yourself a chance to find someone that will love you truly and devotionaly, you do deserve this,..............and one more thing, STOP feeling bad,now its time to change your life,you deserve a lot better than this married man or the father of your son........please be safe!!
2007-04-01 10:22:01 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your self esteem sure is low, you are with a married man and and you want out and can't say so. Essentially you are saying emotional blackmail makes me have sex. Please, people break up all the time and someone always gets hurt, that's no reason to continue it, three years with a man who isn't available, and years of loving someone who didn't ever love you is a serious clue that you need therapy before you can become the kind of person a normal man would love. Straighten yourself out before you put yourself back on the market and you will have a better outcome.
2007-04-01 09:59:44 · answer #5 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love this guy why still stay involved. He is married so if you break it off he can always go back to his wife..You on the other hand is single. I would not go withthe officer I will just worry about takign care of my son rather than finding a man. Goodluck on what you decide/
2007-04-01 10:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun, it sounds like you are on the wrong track! You need to learn from the mistakes that you made when you were younger, not reverb back to them. Shame on you for messing with a married man, get out of the situation before you get yourself pregnant again and have a bigger mess. You are better than that, and deserve to have someone for yourself! Best of Luck
2007-04-01 09:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by Lemme tell ya... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a homewrecker and you should feel guilty,sleezy,dirty and more..How dare you get involved with a married man.How would you feel if you were married and your husband was sleeping with another woman.You need to end it with this married man NOW and find a single man..I have NO sympathy for pond scum like you...And alway's remember what goes around comes around....
2007-04-01 10:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes a loser liar cheater user in uniform u keep choosing losers why not step back start within urself only u can control ur destiny or u will keep on being a doormat u deserve more for u and ur child search deep inside urself what u need to find for fullfillment in your life never look back or u will continue to make the same mistakes and never learn from them
2007-04-01 10:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by mmbmw2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave let him go honey. Sometimes we just have to let people go. There will be other men, trust me, but stop letting the men pick you and you pick them. Think about what kind of guy you want and only go for that kind of guy. Feeling guilty will not go away, unless you end it. Because you know in your heart that it is wrong. Good luck :)
2007-04-01 09:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by Darcie Z 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋