I am 21, and have just found out that I am pregnant. Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 3 years, and we live together. We had planned on getting married and having kids, but in a few years. We are both still at uni, but I will be finished in 2 months so it is not a problem for me. He will be finished before baby would be born and able to work, so financially I think we would be fine. I am so confused, I dont feel that I could go through an abortion, but he thinks that it is best. His reasons are that he is not ready, and wants another few years just me and him. I am just hoping that he will eventually get used to it! I am worried that if I go through with the pregnancy this will cause problems between us, and we might break up. Please help cos I need to make a decision soon!
2007-03-31 23:51:27 · 37 answers · asked by **sugarplum** 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Hey hun. This is your decision. Don't let people tell you or make you feel like you are forcing this on your boyfriend that you are blackmailing him into a situation he doesnt want to be in (I think thats what one stupid answer read). This wasn't planned and you didnt sit down and go 'oh wait I'll make him stay witth me and be pregnant'. I just finished uni and I'm five months pregnant. It was unplanned but my partner loves me and although we both know it will be hard emotionally, physically and financially, he still stepped up to his responsibility and is keen on being a dad now. He comes to every appointment and feels the baby move and me and his were only planning kids after marraige and a few years. Things happen its life. If he had left and told me to get rid of it I would have done it on my own. Dont do anything you will regret and a man is no reason to scar yourself emotionally and possibly physically for the rest of your life.
Have a look at the link below. It is a life it is a baby. at 8 weeks it already has fingers and toes and moves.
Please read the facts on what they do to the baby and yourself.
http://www.priestsforlife.org/images/index.htm
2007-04-01 00:42:22 · answer #1 · answered by sammumtobe 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well I will say this, being pregnant is a GIFT. My friend can't have any and she is missing a part of her life I do not think she could ever replace. I beg of you NOT to have an abortion. I will not go over all the pros and the cons of abortion because that is a personal choice. (I am against it personally). BUT it is a life you are carrying and it is meant to be. If you are pregnant now, and if he loves you like he says he does, he will accept this. If he breaks up with you because of this, then QUITE FRANKLY , he is NOT for you. How can he make you or want you to abort the child you have made together? I never understood that kinda stuff. Men are such funny funny weird animals. To top it all off NO OFFENSE, IF HE WAS SO NOT READY TO HAVE A BABY NOW THEN WHY DIDN'T HE USE COINDOMS ALL THE TIME WITH YOU? Sounds like a crock of horse **** really and it sounds like he wants to get busy and have couchie couchie LOL but not pay the consequences when something like "OH HEY HUNNY, I am pregnant." comes to play.
I say this... stand your ground hunny and have that baby. Woman are much more mature any way. See how you have started reasoning the fact that ok you are finished with school, he is almost finished, you think you can handle it financially blah blah blah. You have already begun to solidify this circumstance in your mind and starting to prepare. He should do the same. Remeber this too.. this baby.. he or she... may be the next American Idol LOL (hey don't laugh they make allot of money LOL),. or a scientist or a nobel peace prize winner or the the fitst female president. Think about that?
Peace and much love and I "HOPE" you make the right decision.
Jennifer
** Please note this is coming from a woman (that's me LOL) that is NOW as I type 37 weeks pregnant and almost about to give birth in the next 19 days to her first baby girl. I waited a long time for this and I am thrilled and you should be too.
2007-04-01 00:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny N 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey! I think that he's in total shock right now, and confused, you know? But when yau'll have the baby he'll be soo thankful that you didn't get the abortion! Right now u feel a connection with the baby already since he/she is inside of u, ur boyfriend might kinda be scared that you'll forget about him and the baby willget inthe way,and other things may be scaring him, he'll eventually get over it, esp if he loves u, yau'll are getting married you mention, so the baby should def have a stable life, u seem u'd be responsible. One day when u have the baby he'll be soo grateful !! Sometimes a boy gets scared then their mind changes, so don't have an abortion, he's just nervous. Yau'll should sit down and try to have a calm talk, and let him know it'll work out.
2007-04-01 01:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lorelei's Mommy ( & prego) 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
if you planned on having children together in the future, then I would ask him to discuss the options of having this one further. I think to abort a child that would have been wanted in different circumstances could possibly cause the relationship to end over bitterness on one side within a short time anyway. Aborting a baby will be difficult for you so you both must totally agree that it is the best thing to do for now. If you wasnt pregnant then I would agree have a few more years of fun first as you are so young, but you are pregnant and together you must now decide how your lifes will change either way.
Best Wishes
2007-04-01 00:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
You definitely need to sit down and have a long heart to heart about both your feelings. You need to let him know that this baby is important to you and you want to keep this child, and how much an abortion would affect you. Ultimately nobody can force you to have the abortion. But truthfully, he might not be prepared to stick around if you choose to keep the baby. If he really feels so strongly that he isn't ready then I don't think theres anyway you can force him into it. It has to be a united decision and something you both want. Talk to him, I hope you reach the decision that is best for you. You need to think what is best for you because you will be carrying the baby. Hope you work it out for the best :)
Good luck x
2007-03-31 23:58:26 · answer #5 · answered by jellybean55 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You need to decide which one you can't possibly let go. (if it comes to it) Have another chat with your otherhalf and explain your reasons for not wanting an abortion. Listen to his reasons too and see where you get. If you don't think you can have an abortion then you really shouldn't as you'll end up resenting your partner forever. Let him know that the way you intend to plan your lives together doesn't always work out that way. If he still doesn't want you to have your baby then it's up to you and the first line of my answer still stands. Whatever happens I wish you the very best of luck. xxxx
2007-04-01 00:55:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I met my partner when I was 18. After a few months I got pregnant. I wanted to get a career etc but baby comes first. At such a young age there is plenty of time when the baby is older and you've still got over nine months to be together. You'll also find that when you do go out after a baby has arrived you appreciate it much much more and its much more special. He's being very selfish and unfair. an abortion is not there just to suit his want of fun. a baby is loads of fun hard work too but very fun.
my son is now 2 and a half and the best thing that ever happened to us. We're planning another as soon as we can
2007-04-01 00:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by heathen_mum 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Why can't things be easy? I understand why you are confused to his feelings towards this because you both seem settled and are soon to have good careers. No dad is ready to be a dad until the baby is in his arms, its harder for them to understand what is happening, it is easy for us to feel and love the baby because we feel them growing in our belly but they wont feel this completely until the baby is born. If you tell him how strong your feelings are and that you don't feel you are able to go through with an abortion he should try to understand. Men just take a little bit longer to come around i know your worrying that this will cause cracks in your relationship but if your relationship is strong it can only bring more happiness. Just because you have a baby does not mean you are not able to spend time with each other also. I hope he comes round sooner then later good luck with everything xx
2007-04-01 00:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by 1611midgemodge 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my boyfriend was exactly the same.... im 22 and hes 24.
we dont live together...
he wanted me to have an abortion but i told him that i dont belive in them.
im 22 weeks pregnant and he has come around to the idea and seems more excited than me.
men do not like commitment, its a known fact, im sure he will come round to the idea, if he dont you'll be fine as a single mum im sure you will have some support off family and friends. Good luck im sure everything will be fine x
2007-04-01 08:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by Leigh-Anne A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Holly being pregnant for the first time is always hard I have many women in my family who have been pregnant and my cousin has just turned nineteen and has 2 kids and one on the way, your boyfriend if he is serious about marriage should stick by you even if you keep your baby. The fact that he wants a few more years just the two of you is selfish sorry but its true. If you have an abortion you may regret it later in life and even with the technology that we have today it may be hard to have kids later in life you can put your child in foster care if needs be but if you keep your baby and your boyfriend runs off then he is not a good bloke but if you both sit and talk this through more then you may be surprised that he would stay and raise a family I hope things work out for you do not let him pressure you into having an abortion you feel more connected because you are carrying your baby if us men carried babies we would feel the same as you do good luck god bless
2007-04-01 00:05:37 · answer #10 · answered by m.roberts262@btinternet.com 2 · 2⤊ 5⤋